Management Café

A lively conversation about why meetings can energize or frustrate teams. They explore how leaders' aims can differ from participants and the value of checking expectations up front. There's talk about when to speak and when to listen, how meetings shape culture, and why some roles dominate discussions.

When do we stop being a manager and cross into therapy? Understanding and analysing human behaviour is an essential skill for managers. But most managers aren't professionally trained psychologists. How should managers be emotionally supporting their direct reports and what lines should they not cross? 0:50mins Where do we draw boundaries as an employer and employee? 3:30 Is it the manager's job to help people express their emotions? Pilar recalls this great scene from the show Superstore. Mateo: This job is hard enough. People need to talk, to vent, to feel heard! It's like they're emotionally constipated, and some of them are very physically bloated as well. Dina: What, so, because I'm manager, I have to help people poop their emotions all over the place? Superstore Season 6 Episode 4 "Prize Wheel" 5:10 Tim highlights that managers need permission from our reports to have conversations. 6:00 Sometimes we feel we are being forced to be a therapist against our will. Managers can have boundaries too! 8:00 Managers can pass their own baggage on to other people, especially to their direct reports. The importance of self awareness yet again. 10:30 We explore how the dynamic between manager and employee is different to that of a therapist and patient. We are curious about you, dear listener? Do you consider counselling your staff as part of your toolkit as a manager? We'd love to hear from you. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

Managers have a responsibility to help their people discover and sustain the best version of themselves. But is this just in the context of our specific role and responsibilities? Or can we use work as a place to practice being a better human being? Tim and Pilar dive into people development. 1:50mins What sort of environments are conducive to personal development? It can be different for each person 3:45 Pilar talks about the sort of person who thrives in high pressure and stressful situations. The conditions for development can be very different for this archetype. 6:30 Tim shares his theory of approaching work as a training ground. Work presents us with a fairly controlled environment, like a video game, where we can learn and experiment. With work tasks but also with broader forms of personal development. 11:30 Should we bring our whole selves to work? Tim argues people just need to feel like themselves. 13:00 Managers can tap into people's natural drive to grow in a wide range of areas both work related and more personal. This gives a broader view of what development might look like. Pilar shares how trying many different experiences was important for her in finding her path. 16:30 How do we uncover what is meaningful ways to develop people that are meaningful to them. We discuss Russ Laraway's 3 career conversations model. 19:10 Pilar shares a story of how viewing someone holistically uncovered a simple solution which made a huge difference. We muse on what it means to people when their manager sees them in this way. We are curious about you, dear listener? Are there ways you develop your people beyond training and courses? We'd love to hear from you. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

Handing tasks and responsibility to others is at the core of management. This is easy in principle but sometimes hard in practice. Tim and Pilar discuss delegation over coffee. 2.00 mins. Does some of this loneliness come from feeling like we can't share as much with our team members as we'd like, and also they don't share as much with you as they might if you were a team member? Tim remembers the line "Complaints always go up, they never go down", from Saving Private Ryan. 4.27 mins. Is the recognition of the fact that we need to have boundaries with team members a good starting point? Then we can look for different ways of getting the support we need. Individuals might confide in you, and this responsibility is a privilege. 6.05 mins. The difficulty can come when the organisational support is not there - and then we need to invest in relationships outside the team to ensure we are supported and that we can talk to people in similar positions who can empathise with us. This takes a while to build up though... 8.50 mins. Pilar has relied a lot on her friends for support when she's had to talk through concerns with team members. However, sometimes this might increase the sense of loneliness, because you're going outside the cohesiveness of the team to find support. This reminds Tim of the feeling you get when you are in a sports team. 11.05 mins. Even when the team is cohesive, there will be specific moments when you do feel lonely, for example, moments when the responsibility lies very clearly with you. When nobody can "lighten the load" for you, that's when loneliness strikes. 13.50 mins. Tim realises the mistake he's made in "offloading" to one of his team members, realising now it might have been unfair to do that, just because of the organisational power imbalance. On the other hand, Pilar thinks that there are some individuals who you can rely on, because they can put hierarchy to one side to support you. In any case, a lot of thought needs to be put into who we confide in. 16.50 mins. Your team needs to know that you will respect their confidentiality and in a way, protect them from conflict and drama - so if you go to an individual with your problems, you might be breaking that trust. We are curious about you, dear listener? Do you feel separate from your team members in this way? Do you actively avoid the loneliness that can come from being in charge? We'd love to hear from you. Join us for this 20 minute coffee, every week. Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PocketCasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

There's a degree of separation from your team members when you lead a team - and this sometimes can lead to feeling separated, and even lonely. Who should we rely on to get us through it? Pilar and Tim discuss this over coffee. 2.00 mins. Does some of this loneliness come from feeling like we can't share as much with our team members as we'd like, and also they don't share as much with you as they might if you were a team member? Tim remembers the line "Complaints always go up, they never go down", from Saving Private Ryan. 4.27 mins. Is the recognition of the fact that we need to have boundaries with team members a good starting point? Then we can look for different ways of getting the support we need. Individuals might confide in you, and this responsibility is a privilege. 6.05 mins. The difficulty can come when the organisational support is not there - and then we need to invest in relationships outside the team to ensure we are supported and that we can talk to people in similar positions who can empathise with us. This takes a while to build up though... 8.50 mins. Pilar has relied a lot on her friends for support when she's had to talk through concerns with team members. However, sometimes this might increase the sense of loneliness, because you're going outside the cohesiveness of the team to find support. This reminds Tim of the feeling you get when you are in a sports team. 11.05 mins. Even when the team is cohesive, there will be specific moments when you do feel lonely, for example, moments when the responsibility lies very clearly with you. When nobody can "lighten the load" for you, that's when loneliness strikes. 13.50 mins. Tim realises the mistake he's made in "offloading" to one of his team members, realising now it might have been unfair to do that, just because of the organisational power imbalance. On the other hand, Pilar thinks that there are some individuals who you can rely on, because they can put hierarchy to one side to support you. In any case, a lot of thought needs to be put into who we confide in. 16.50 mins. Your team needs to know that you will respect their confidentiality and in a way, protect them from conflict and drama - so if you go to an individual with your problems, you might be breaking that trust. We are curious about you, dear listener? Do you feel separate from your team members in this way? Do you actively avoid the loneliness that can come from being in charge? We'd love to hear from you. Join us for this 20 minute coffee, every week. Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PocketCasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

Management is a tough job. It's not for everyone. Managers need motivation to get up and do their job day after day. Tim and Pilar explore what keeps them going. 2:40mins Pilar's secret sauce is the joy of collaboration. She explains why this is important to her and details the wonderful behaviours she sees when a team collaborates really well. 7:00 We talk about the relationship between the team's results and the manager's motivation. If the team doesn't deliver results then motivation is definitely impacted. But for Pilar and Tim achieving results isn't enough motivation on it's own. How we get there also matters. Tim references a book (that he hasn't read) called "The Score Takes Care of Itself" by Bill Walsh. 9:00 Tim highlights that as a leader sometimes results are out of your hands. So it helps to have a variety of motivations. 10:30 Our needs can change over time. e.g. Pilar's motivation has gradually shifted from group collaboration to smaller partnerships. 12:00 The benefits of having multiple sources of motivation. Which leads again to a discussion about self awareness and the importance of understanding what motivates us. For example it can help us identify if our work environment isn't able to provide what we need to feel motivated. We are curious about you, dear listener? What motivates you to continue your career in management? We'd love to hear from you. Join us for this 20 minute coffee, every week. Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PocketCasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

They discuss why managers avoid confronting poor performance and the emotional barriers that creates. They talk about giving feedback from a place of care and making conversations regular to prevent escalation. They explore balancing oversight without micromanaging and how to handle terminations with dignity. They consider role fit, managerial responsibility, and using fair processes to guide tough conversations.

What changes when you become a manager? Pilar and Tim continue talking about how boundaries and relationships shift when you move into leadership. 1.10mins It feels different to be promoted in a team where people already know you, than being promoted into a new team, where you start with a clean slate. With a new team you can change your behaviour if it helps you, but in a new team, the change will be visible and might jar. Pilar has an example of someone behaving "like they thought a manager would". This is fine in experimenting, but a problem if we get trapped in it. Because then we can't give the best of ourselves. We want a fast solution for some of the scariest things, but sometimes, Tim has found that acting as true to ourselves as possible works best. 04.27mins To act as true to yourself as possible, you have to know yourself. In fact, Tim believes that becoming a manager gives you an opportunity to become a better version of yourself. When you manage people, you become exposed in new ways, so the opportunity for growth is there. 09.27mins There's a whole range of ways in which people change they're behaviour when they become managers. It sends all sorts of messages to the people you are leading, if they knew you before... It can create a strange dynamic. 11.15mins Why people are promoted matters in how everyone behaves in the shift as well. And if other people in the team also wanted the job, that complicates things... Listeners, we'd love to know whether things that happened at the beginning of your promotion shaped how you behaved in your new management post. Also, what worked for YOU when you became a manager? What worked for your team? We could all learn from that? We'd love you to join us for this 20 minute coffee, every week. Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, PocketCasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

What changes when you become a manager? In this episode Pilar and Tim explore how boundaries and relationships shift when you move into leadership, amongst many other things. 1:30 Typical paths into leadership roles and Tim shares his own journey. 3:20 Can managers be an unnecessary layer? Do all teams need a manager? 4:20 We go deep on what are the actual responsibilities of a manager. 8:10 The benefit that can come from offloading some of our responsibilities to our manager. 9:50 Back to discussing what changes when you move from an individual contributor within a team to managing that team. 11:30 "Complaints go up" from Saving Private Ryan. 12:30 Pilar recommends the book "The First 90 days" for helping new managers adjust. 14:00 How the dynamic of gossip and grumbling changes when someone is promoted into management. 16:00 Are managers psychologists? 17:40 How to find your own authentic leadership style. 18:55 Pilar identifies the curse of the middle manager. We'd love you to join us for this 20 minute coffee, every week. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or join us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

Are we as competent as people think we are? In this episode Pilar and Tim dive into imposter syndrome . 1:30 We try to define imposter syndrome in our own experience 3:20 The positive aspects of imposter syndrome. Referencing an HBR article Pilar shared about how Impostor Syndrome Has Its Advantages. 5:30 We explore how imposter syndrome is about how we perceive our own competency within the context of how others view our capability. Pilar quotes Adam Grant "I don't know what I'm doing. It's only a matter of time until everyone finds out." 7:30 Why early managers can be particularly affected by imposter syndrome 9:10 The importance of feedback that you can trust 10:30 Shifting from an imposter mindset to a growth mindset. Adam Grant again "I don't know what I'm doing yet. It's only a matter of time until I figure it out." 12:10 Tim shares his imposter syndrome experience running a company during the uncertainty of the Covid pandemic. 13:40 Helping early career managers build confidence. Pilar talks about situations where the person becomes more important than the job. 16:30 Does imposter syndrome reduce over time? Or does it come in waves? We'd love you to join us for this 20 minute coffee, every week. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or join us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf