Management Café

Following on from episode 44 where we discussed vulnerability and authenticity, today in the café we go deeper on how much of our true character should we show at work. Is it entirely our choice? Are there parts of ourself that shouldn't be in our workplace? This is such a nuanced topic as we have to juggle our level of self-awareness, our assessment of our work environment, the degree of comfort that we feel and, of course, our highly subjective interpretation of how others perceive us. For us as managers, and especially for the people we manage, there is a world of difference between our workplace embracing or rejecting our true character and values. 01:00 min We rarely bring our whole self out with anybody, let alone at work. 2:00 Authenticity doesn't have to mean bringing our entire self at all times. Behaving authentically means that our actions are consistent with our true character and values. This allows us to function more freely. 5:00 Pilar has an example of a friend whose personal values were very different to the rest of her organisation. 7:00 How authentic we choose to be isn't purely our own decision. The work community decides what behaviour and attitudes will be accepted. So in a sense this is a complex social negotiation between the individual and community. 10:00 When we are changing our behaviour patterns it can feel "inauthentic" just because we are exploring at the edge of our comfort zone. This is a sort of aspirational authenticity, we are acting as a better version of ourself. 13:15 Tim shares a story of someone who was holding back a core part of themself at work and how this changed. 14:45 Sometimes we might want a separation between who we are at work and outside of work. But this will impact our relationships at work. Pilar talks of the shock her husband felt when his manager became a totally different person outside of work. 16:35 There are situations where we can share too much, giving more of ourself than the environment is able to cope with. It can be easy to confuse being authentic with talking about our personal life. This requires some skill to navigate. And as managers we need to be careful in how we react when someone is sharing with us. What about you, dear listener? Do you bring your whole self to work? What about the people that you manage? We'd love to hear about your experiences! Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

The pandemic changed workplace awareness of physical and mental wellbeing. So what does it look like in 2023? We discuss what managers can do to pro-actively improve wellbeing for their workers. This can be a challenge for leaders as wellbeing is something we experience at an individual level, but it is influenced by factors inside and outside the workplace. What is a manager to do? 0:10 min Did the pandemic change workplace wellbeing forever, or was it a temporary shift? 5:30 Work isn't only a source of stress, it can also be a place for improving wellbeing. 8:00 We examine the skills leaders need to help their team with wellbeing, starting with awareness and curiosity. 9:45 How to be proactive for example by anticipating times of high demand and encouraging rejuvenation in quieter times. These initiatives are hard for managers to sustain without organisational support. Within many companies and teams there is pressure to keep working. 14:10 Are we treating the symptoms or the cause? Cultural change is hard work. Tim references this brilliant paper where the CEO engaged researchers to investigate the firm's difficulty retaining women. When the research showed the actual cause was a deeply embedded "long-work hours problem" that both women and men at the firm faced, the CEO terminated the project! 17:30 We ponder how much it might cost companies if they ignore employee wellbeing. 18:30 Pilar emphasises that being seen as a whole person means going beyond someone's demographic to consider their actual needs and circumstances. 20:00 We wrestle with how instructive a manager can be with an employee about their well-being and behaviours outside of work. What happens if the person doesn't want to address it? Or if it's really hard for them? 23:00 An individual's wellbeing is also influenced by their environment. And that environment is influenced by our actions as a manager. 25:00 Tim shares how an Bec, a brilliant HR consultant, taught his company to take a more nuanced view of workload and stress. For example some periods of higher load could be positive for growth and motivation if they didn't last too long. What about you, dear listener? Have you found ways to be pro-active in promoting wellbeing in the people that you manage? We'd love to hear from you. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

Metrics are very alluring for managers. Our software tools are full of data and reporting... with just a few clicks we might get the magic mix of numbers that will give us control. But for staff it's a different story. Too often metrics are used as a kind of straight jacket. Work becomes narrowly defined, devoid of nuance and complexity. Targets creep ever higher. And as the pressure mounts, inevitably people will try to game the system. Over coffee Pilar and Tim try to imagine an environment where managers and teams are aligned on how to use metrics thoughtfully to make their work better. 1:00 min We clarify whether we are discussing productivity, work output, tracking or metrics. 3:00 Industry standard or easy to measure metrics aren't always best suited to the particular need of our team and business. 5:00 Tim shares an example of how focussing too much on a metric (time to close support tickets) had a negative impact on the quality of his team's output. 7:40 Can we design systems that can't be gamed? Or can we design systems that people don't want to game because they like how it improves their work? 11:30 Instead of closely tracking individuals and their tasks, monitoring can function well at an overall system or process level. Tim shares an example of how this approach eventually lead his support team to higher productivity without putting individuals under pressure. 14:10 Pilar highlights that the rules and frameworks should not be a straight jacket. They should be designed to liberates workers by providing guidance. In the context of metrics this means we need to be clear on what the numbers will be used for and we need to communicate those intentions to our teams. 16:10 It is so easy to toggle some settings in our software systems and spit out numbers. But have we done the work to identify what measures will help us? Are our teams aligned on this goal? Pilar asks software designers to consider adding warning labels to their settings and metric dashboards. What about you, dear listener? Do you incorporate metrics into the way you manage your teams? Have you created a perfect system where the numbers couldn't be manipulated? We'd love to hear from you. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

For a long time the dominant narrative of leadership has been of fearless leaders who move from triumph to triumph without serious flaws or doubt. But in recent years there has been a move towards authentic leadership. Leaders who show vulnerability and who share their weaknesses as well as their strengths. Over coffee Pilar and Tim dig into authentic leadership, the benefits it can deliver for leaders and companies. And also why it isn't for everyone. 0:30 min Tim references this quote from Brianna Wiest on Twitter "I no longer need the armor, my softness is the strongest part of me." 2:55 Are authenticity and vulnerability always linked? 5:30 Pilar argues that some forms of being authentic can be harmful, perhaps a better aim is leaders who behave without pretense. 6:30 Tim's neighbour is not very authentic. 7:30 Unauthentic behaviour isn't just nasty people pretending to be nice. It can also be relatively nice people hiding any "negative" traits. 8:30 A key component of trust is that the person will follow through on their commitments. A lack of authenticity can be a barrier to trust. Tim argues that it's similar with someone who won't deal with bad news, it's hard to trust them when they avoid reality. 10:00 Pilar identifies the core issue: someone feeling like they have to be someone else to be liked or to be effective. But as leaders it's probably more important to be trusted than liked. 11:30 Without authenticity we miss valuable opportunities for deep connection. Not everyone wants connection with their co-workers, but does the work suffer as a result? 14:00 Tim shares how he benefited as a leader by being vulnerable and authentic in a difficult situation. 16:20 Pilar references some wonderful research which showed that leaders who shared their foibles as well as their strengths were perceived as more trustworthy and generated more goodwill. And this effect was heightened if you share your true self at a time when you have a lot at stake. 17:50 When a leader admits they don't know the answer or that a situation is difficult, it actually creates space and possibility for people to find the best path forward. 19:30 Tim shares his struggles with thought leadership that makes things look too easy or positive. He gained much more encouragement within communities of leaders sharing their real "warts and all" experience like the Business of Software. 22:45 Pilar closes by posing a question for a future coffee: is it possible to be too authentic? What about you, dear listener? Do you think authenticity is important in leadership? Is authenticity linked to vulnerability? Can you be too authentic? We'd love to hear from you. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

We often need to experience some challenge in order to grow. But tension can easily spill over into destructive interactions. As leaders we need to demonstrate that we can challenge and be challenged. In this chat Pilar and Tim learn they have quite different thresholds for conflict. And they explore the difference between being challenged constructively vs destructively. 0:30 min Sometimes creative tension is actually just fighting. 3:10 People are always watching how their leaders deal with conflict. It's important to role model the behaviours we want to see from others. 3:50 Pilar is pretty comfortable with conflict. Tim not so much. 5:05 Once again we reference Kim Scott's book Radical Candor, this time about the importance of regularly showing people that you care about them. This protects your connection even when you are disagreeing with each other. 6:00 Pilar shares a couple of anecdotes about how the quality of work improves when she is able to be challenged by her colleagues. And it suffers when she can't. It is important for her to establish this open atmosphere early in a work relationship. 9:30 Tim muses about people at each end of the "comfort with conflict" scale. In particular the difficulty of finding common grounds for communication between conflict-avoidant people and those who are energised by conflict. 11:15 If we don't communicate our dissatisfaction or issues the tension will build up. We run the risk of exploding! This is a familiar pattern for Tim. 14:40 Pilar wrestles with how carefully she should choose her collaborators. It is hard to choose someone who will push her creative boundaries but also respect her work. 16:15 Which leads us to the importance of how we are challenged. Creative tension is a very different beast to destructive tension, we need to maintain healthy connections and respect in order to collaborate together. 18:30 Pilar shares some examples of being challenged in a healthy way and how it led to better and sometimes unexpected work outcomes. 22:00 Tim bangs the drum for self awareness (again). What about you, dear listener? How comfortable are you with conflict? How do you encourage or discourage people to challenge us? We'd love to hear from you. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

In today's coffee Pilar and Tim discuss the concept of Peacetime CEO/Wartime CEO introduced by Ben Horowitz in 2011. Our companies and teams will all face difficult times where there is an existential threat or huge change looming. How do we lead through these challenges? Do we need a different leadership style to match the situation, and what is the impact "wartime leadership"? 3:50min Some people thrive off the energy and pressure that comes during times of crisis or change. 5:30 We worry that wartime atmosphere and leadership practices like breaking rules, micromanaging and pushing hard are not sustainable. Pilar shares a situation where someone's singular focus on a crisis ended up exhausting everyone around them. 7:50 Sometimes wartime leaders can exaggerate or manufacture drama in order to justify staying in wartime. 10:00 Is it really necessary to change our style in times of difficulty? Is authoritarian leadership the best approach? 11:00 Tim shares some advice he received from Jerry Colonna about the role of a leader in a time of crisis. 12:20 Pilar outlines how understanding our strengths and culture can help us adapt our leadership practice when the context changes around us, but still operate in a way that is consistent with our fundamental approach and beliefs. 14:00 Facing the human cost of the leader's actions and decisions in times of difficult is a hard thing. Survival instinct can tempt leaders into behaving as though "it's just business". We find wartime peacetime to ultimately be a dehumanising concept. 17:45 After any war we hope for a long period of peace and happiness. 18:00 We wrap up pondering the happiness of the "career wartime CEO". What about you, dear listener? Are you a wartime or peacetime leader? Have you experienced positives from wartime leadership? We'd love to hear from you. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

Pilar and Tim explore their experiences of being co-founders or co-managers, as well as being solely in charge. The co-founder dynamic is inevitably going to experience some challenges as a business has its ups and downs. The way that founders communicate, collaborate, challenge and complement each other has a huge impact on the culture of the company and its success. This coffee is, yet again, something like a joint therapy session... prepare for a lot of talk about communication, values and alignment! 0:30min It is a challenge to find someone with complementary skills but aligned values. 2:00 Pilar shares her experience of the work suffering when her co-founder was too similar to herself. And then afterwards with a very different person but where the values weren't aligned. 6:40 Founders need to start with a shared vision and agreement on why the company exists and what they want the atmosphere in the business to be. 7:55 For Tim and his co-founder their friendship was an important shared value. Sometimes when a conflict was proving too divisive they would set it aside in order to preserve harmony. 9:15 Understanding the values of yourself and your co-founder is important to establish as early as possible. Culture will build around the founders and the co-founder dynamic whether they mean it to or not. 11:00 Pros and cons of running an enterprise by yourself. 13:15 Tim tries to unpack how he and his co-founder were perceived by his employees. 15:00 Feedback on their dysfunctional dynamic triggered Tim and Duncan to understand the schism forming at the heart of their business. 18:00 Understanding the source of tension helped them re-align and ultimately had a profoundly positive impact on their company. 20:30 Tim advocates for using weekly calls to stay connected in an async environment. What about you, dear listener? Have you been a solo founder or co-founder? Have you worked in an organisation where you could trace cultural dysfunctions or strengths to the co-founder relationship? We'd love to hear from you. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

This concept comes from Kate Murphy's excellent book "You're Not Listening: What You're Missing and Why It Matters". For many of us silence can be challenging, it is often considered a sign that something is wrong. What happens when we approach the quiet ones with curiosity? 1:30min Who are the quiet ones? Why might they be quiet? 3:00 Tim shares a story of a manager who was often quiet for an unexpected reason. 5:00 There is a big difference between choosing not to speak and not feeling able to speak. Managers should create an atmosphere where it is safe for people to contribute if they wish to. 6:00 Pilar shares some quotes from the book "You're not Listening" about the impact that silence can have on communication. And we dive into being silent with someone versus being silent to someone. 10:30 Understanding the person and their context can make all the difference in how we interpret and react to someone being quiet. Pilar and Tim share some instances where being curious about someone's communication lead to interesting insights. 18:45 People who have had bad prior experiences tend to use to the safest communication channels in future. 21:00 We explore some of the skilful and less skilful ways managers can help the quiet ones have a voice. We are curious about you, dear listener? Do you give the quiet ones a voice? We'd love to hear from you. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

From the hidden power of the humble custard cream to the value of fancy restaurants, Pilar and Tim explore the role that food can play in our leadership practice. This is not discussed in business school curriculums, but something changes when we make the conscious step to stop our work activities so we can share food together. Eating together can be a powerful way to change the atmosphere of a workplace. 1:00min Pilar shares her brilliant theory of how bringing custard cream biscuits to a meeting can fulfil all five levels of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. 2:00 Tim remembers a time where he tried to use food to lighten a work situation but misjudged the appropriate quantity. 5:30 Food can be used as motivation (or a bribe!). 8:00 It's not just managers who can use food as part of their toolkit. Kevin, Pilar's husband, has been organising picnics as a way to help his teammates feel connected to each other. 9:00 Even in distributed environments we can still have shared food experiences. Although eating on camera is not for everyone. 12:30 Food can be a way for people to share different aspects of themselves into a work context, for example their cultural heritage. 14:00 Almost everyone gets excited about free or unexpected food and drink. A little later we wonder what changes in workplaces where all the food is free all the time. 17:30 Pilar has enjoyed some facilitation sessions which kicked off over lunch as a way to create a relaxed atmosphere. 20:15 We share how sometimes food was used to drive behaviours within our workplaces. For example intentionally providing breakfast to get people in early or lunches to keep the group together during a day of intense collaboration. We are curious about you, dear listener? What is your relationship with food at work? We'd love to hear from you. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf

What happens for managers when work moves away from real time meeting focussed and more towards asynchronous? Communication and team interaction can be as unique and nuanced as each individual human. So how do we navigate management when our team are spending large parts of their time working async? 1:30mins We talk about some of the pros and cons of asynchronous work. 6:00 Tim highlights the importance of having alignment within a team about what is async work and what needs to be done more syncronously. 7:00 Coaching is something both Pilar and Tim has found difficult to do well asynchronously. So much that Tim has had to manage his expectations of success. 11:00 Async gives leaders some precious time and space for deep thinking. This can be especially hard to find in a heavily sync environment. 12:00 We explore the dangers of leaving people to "stew" for too long in an async environment. And discuss a few ways you can still have meaningful communication asynchronously. 14:30 On a more meta level, do we need personal or non-work connection with our work colleagues? 16:00 Pilar shares the additional context she gets when interacting with someone synchronously. And how easy it is to forget this and stick to our habitual behaviours. 15:30 We talk about connection and how it can be established async. With a cautionary note that connection is highly contextual and we all experience it differently. We are curious about you, dear listener? How has asynchronous working impacted your leadership practice? We'd love to hear from you. Get in touch through our Contact Form https://managementcafepodcast.com/contact/ or tell us on Twitter - we are @managementcaf