The Work of Being Human

This week, I created the podcast based on an email recommendation from AnneMarie in Colorado. She wrote about her struggles with listening and a history of harsh communication that made it unsafe. This week, we unpack the fundamentals of being a good listener and what gets in our way. We look at listening as part of relationship instead of something we "should" do. It's a response born out of safety and respect. Once we understand our blocks to really listening to others, we can learn this all important skill. To purchase the Toolbox, click here: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3HISETP7K57ES&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1657493488&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C105&sr=8-1

In this episode, I have the pleasure of interviewing Tina Parol, a Nashville hit songwriter. Tina walks us through her joint journeys of making music and pursuing mental health. Tina is, in every essence of the word, an overcomer. Through difficult decisions, life circumstances, and trial and error, Tina learned that the strongest thing she can be is mentally healthy. In her own words, "When I moved to Nashville, I cared more about my music than I did my life. Now, I care more about my life than my music career." Tina is a walking example of what a successful life looks like when mental and emotional health come first. You don't want to miss this week's interview with the sensational Tina Parol. Instagram: @Vanessathetherapist Buy the Toolbox here! www.bookbaby.com - https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-toolbox1 www.amazon.com - https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1HIM46UQFJ1DZ&keywords=the+toolbox+vanessa+londino&qid=1655690196&sprefix=the+toolbox%2Caps%2C311&sr=8-1 www.barnesandnoble.com - https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-toolbox-vanessa-londino/1141290671?ean=9781736381311

This week I tackle an important and difficult question: is the field of psychotherapy doing more harm than good? Are we, as therapists, actually helping people? Or is our field, our expensive, time-consuming field, doing harm? Are we giving people the tools they need to live their lives with joy and meaning, or are we merely kicking the can of emotional pain down the road? We have to ask these questions. We have to step back and assess whether or not therapy is worth it. I believe it is, but only if we are proactively and intentionally addressing our pain, only if we are committed to living in reality and all that means. Instagram: @Vanessathetherapist Buy the Toolbox here! www.bookbaby.com - https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-toolbox1 www.amazon.com - https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1HIM46UQFJ1DZ&keywords=the+toolbox+vanessa+londino&qid=1655690196&sprefix=the+toolbox%2Caps%2C311&sr=8-1 www.barnesandnoble.com - https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-toolbox-vanessa-londino/1141290671?ean=9781736381311

No one escapes it. At some point, we have to deal with toxic people. Toxic people are those whose presence in our lives represents more harm than good. To be in relationship with these people means consistent and significant hardship. This week, we'll answer some important questions: how do I know if someone is toxic? What are the characteristics of a toxic person? How do I leave the relationship, if needed? What kind of boundaries do I need to set?  Buy The Toolbox here! Support small business: https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-toolbox1 Buy for the same price on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=33Z0EPFR8TKPA&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1655087347&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C223&sr=8-1

This week we explore the things we put off. We often tell ourselves, "It's too late for that," but it's almost never too late to transform your life into a life you love. It's almost never too late to move a relationship toward greater connection and facilitate healing. Our lives are works in progress, always reflecting our inner world. When we realize that it's never, ever too late to be who we want to be, to love who we want to love, or to grow in ways that are meaningful to us, a world of opportunities and options opens. No matter where we are in our lives, it's never too late to do the things that heal us and bring us greater meaning. Link to the Duke SMILE Study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3674785/ WHERE TO BUY THE TOOLBOX: "The Toolbox" link on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1RJCXKTKFOH9B&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1654479569&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C201&sr=8-1 "The Toolbox" on BookBaby (support small businesses!): https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-toolbox1

Victor Frankl famously wrote about his experience in the concentrations camps of the Holocaust. His book, "Man's Search for Meaning," is a harrowing and profound journey from the gates of Hell to finding meaning in the worst of humanity. This, he claims, is what redeems our struggles from the pointless suffering of mankind to a sacred event: the discovery of meaning. This week, we unpack this. What is it that causes us to live with meaning or without it and how can we be people who discover the meaning of OUR lives and live with that integrated sense of purpose within us? What false messages have we learned about meaning, and how can we become people who know how to fill our lives with meaningful experiences and relationships?  Show notes: https://theconversation.com/having-a-sense-of-meaning-in-life-is-good-for-you-so-how-do-you-get-one-110361 https://qz.com/1310792/the-secret-to-a-meaningful-life-is-simpler-than-you-think/

This week, we dive into what it really means to take care of ourselves, otherwise known as "self-care." We look at what it is (reconnection and restoration) and what it's not (selfishness and self-indulgence). The subject of "self-care" has become all the rage, but we're missing the point if we think it means giving ourselves momentary pleasure or indulging our whims. Self-care has the astounding power to reset us and prepare us for the work that life demands. This week, we talk about what it is and how to get the most out of it. 

This week we explore the topic of shame: what it is and how to get ahead of it in our lives. Most of us believe shame to be solely a "bad" emotion, but we'll take a look at when shame is actually productive and when it's tearing us apart. We'll discuss the dysfunctional ways we cope with shame. Finally, we dive into how to understand our shame so it's not controlling us any more. Shame is a universal experience, but it doesn't have to have control over us.  (Sorry about the delay in release this week! Technical glitch!)

Conflicts are inevitable, but so few of us know what to do when conflict arrives in our relationships. We avoid it. We panic and acquiesce. We take over out of fear. We people please. We just break down and scream and fight. This week, we look closely at the tools we need to make conflict work FOR us. This means we are gaining more insight and understanding about the person with whom we're in conflict. It doesn't need to be a bad word. We don't need to dread it. We just need to know what to do... This week we get into the long and the short of conflict. Purchase The Toolbox here: https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-toolbox1 Preorder on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3TWYX9G7161JV&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1651452271&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C236&sr=8-1  

This week, our guest is Dr. Brian Hooper. Brian is a licensed clinical pastoral therapist and an ordained Lutheran priest. Earlier in his life, in the process of coming out, Brian learned what it meant and what it costs to become the authentic self. His spirituality served as the bedrock of his growth toward the True Self, and in this episode, Brian expertly weaves his understanding of psychology with a deep, universal, and accessible understanding of the spiritual nature of all humans. Brian shares wisdom gained from years of rigorous study and a life lived with integrity. The result is a podcast filled with so much knowledge, so much wisdom, and so much depth, you're going to need to take notes so you don't miss anything! (I took notes while we chatted.) This week, sit back, grab a warm beverage, and let Brian's soothing, grace-filled words guide you on a deeper path toward yourself.