The Work of Being Human

Somewhere along the path of our lives, we lose contact with our inner voice. We stop listening to ourselves with curiosity, and we experience a high amount of shame when the wisdom and the pain that live within us speak up. Our episode today focuses on listening and cultivating an inner process you can count on for your whole life. We all receive signals from the body on a daily, even hourly basis. How well we listen to our own bodies will largely determine how we heal.

Growing mentally stronger involves many dynamics and tasks: self-knowledge, honesty, integrity, and accountability. This week we focus on the one dynamic necessary to make lasting change: celebrating small wins. Too often, we save celebration for momentous affairs, but the truth is, when it comes to mental health and growth, we need to keep our eyes on our every day changes, not the pot of gold at the end of the proverbial rainbow. Growing in mental health is all about the process. This week, we unpack why celebrating small wins is absolutely essential.

This week, we unpack the toxic behaviors that people with a narcissistic personality structure use to control and manipulate. While narcissistic personalities can be "larger than life," they have relatively small toolboxes. Meaning: they don't have a lot of tricks up their sleeves, just the same damaging ones they use time and time again. Once we know what they are, we can be better prepared when we see them coming. We'll examine each tool in detail and then move into how we can protect ourselves from the manipulation.

Patrick is a talented visionary and entrepreneur in the Nashville design and construction world. His artistry graces the walls of some of the most famous homes in Nashville, but Patrick's journey toward self-satisfaction couldn't rest on work and success alone. He engaged the fight for his own heart when he entered therapy. Instead of merely expecting his hard-earned success to satisfy him, Patrick went deeper. This is a story about how a busy entrepreneur wove healing into every aspect of his life and lives with a different understanding of what success really is.

We usually associate grief with death, but the truth is: life is a series of griefs. We are always in the process of grasping and grabbing hold of what we want AND letting go. This week, we dive into grief with a different perspective. Sometimes we have to grieve people while they're still living. We aren't grieving their passing; we're grieving that the relationship will never be exactly or even remotely what we want. We're grieving lost connection. We're grieving what can never be, and we're letting go of the fight to make it what we want. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is let go and grieve. I'll walk you through what grief is and how to do it. Purchase The Toolbox here: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2E62S1J0B32Z6&keywords=vanessa+londino&qid=1661137245&sprefix=Vanessa+l%2Caps%2C215&sr=8-1 Follow me on Instagram: @vanessathetherapist

This week we unpack the patterns of thought that get us into trouble. Using Aaron Beck's classic examples of "cognitive distortions," or distorted ways of thinking, we begin to see how our irrational thoughts can be driving our lives in unproductive ways. Clear-minded thinking is an essential for mental health and mental strength, but sometimes we don't catch the tricky thought traps we've fallen into. By learning what basic cognitive distortions are, we can learn to catch those thoughts and transform them into rational thoughts before they take hold. Purchase The Toolbox here: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3RYV8LTR6QAP8&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1660489090&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C172&sr=8-1

This week we explore the important topic of how to stay centered in ourselves amidst the ever-changing landscape of life. We'll look at what it feels like when we aren't in our "core" self, what takes us out of it, and how to get back to our center and stay there. A life uncentered is a life adrift and distracted from being who we truly are. This week's episode will give you the tools to understand what knocks you off course and how to get back on. Buy the Toolbox:  https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=SXCC7JGUBSYU&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1659935550&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C376&sr=8-1

Sometimes the most frustrating conflicts we have in our relationships are because we don't know what our rights are. We argue when we should be calmly stating our boundary. We overstep onto others' rights and wonder what we did wrong. This week, we unpack seven core "rights" in relationship and why they're so important. Knowing our rights gives us solid ground to stand on. We can build our relationships without apology or confusion.

This week, we dive into a recent research study that has absolutely rocked the mental health world. University College London has just released an article based on a multi-year research study in which they conclude THERE IS NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE THAT DEPRESSION IS CAUSED BY A CHEMICAL IMBALANCE. This is big news. We read the article together, and I break it down for you. It's time to start understanding depression and moving past this harmful, uncompassionate misinformation. The article: https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/2022/jul/no-evidence-depression-caused-low-serotonin-levels-finds-comprehensive-review The study published in Nature: https://www.nature.com/articles/s41380-022-01661-0 Order The Toolbox on Amazon! https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/1736381318/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1R99SW6AOFFD2&keywords=Vanessa+londino&qid=1658721548&sprefix=vanessa+londino%2Caps%2C147&sr=8-1

This week we look at depression and anxiety from a different angle. We all struggle at some point with these things, but what if our expectations are off? What if we, by expecting our lives to be easy and happy, are setting ourselves up for disappointment and dismay? Most of grew up learning that if we were "good" people we'd have good lives. We are shocked and unprepared when life comes at us with its unfairness and harsh reality. In this week's podcast, we reset our expectations where they should be. We are learning to live life on life's terms (hat tip: AA), and we are taking responsibility for ourselves.