Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

This is the third installment in a series of solocasts specifically about homeschooling 2e children. I know many families of 2e and differently wired kids end up going down the homeschooling road, whether they’re reluctant homeschoolers and they felt “forced” into the decision because they ran out of other options or whether they knew they would homeschool from the moment their child was born. Whatever the case, this episode is for you.In this episode, I share how Asher and I structure our school, what kind of classes he takes, how I figure out what he’s going to focus on, and what a typical school day looks like for us. I wanted to talk about these things because I know that designing a curriculum can be one of the most overwhelming pieces of this puzzle.A quick note: If you haven’t already done so, I encourage you to listen to the two other solocast episodes I’ve done on homeschooling 2e children. In Episode 42 I talk about how I made the decision to homeschool even though I had a LOT of resistance to the idea, and in Episode 48, I talk about the actual transition to homeschooling … basically how we survived that first rocky year. Debbie Reber, MA, is a parenting activist, bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker who moved her career in a more personal direction in 2016 when she founded Tilt Parenting, a top resource for parents like her who are raising differently wired children. The TiLT Parenting Podcast has grown to be a top podcast in Kids & Family, with more than 4 million downloads and a slate of guests that includes high-profile thought leaders across the parenting and education space. A certified Positive Discipline trainer and a regular contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, Debbie’s newest book is Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. In November 2018, she spoke at TEDxAmsterdam, delivering a talk entitled Why the Future Will Be Differently Wired. In the summer of 2020, she co-created the Parenting in Place Masterclass series.     Things you’ll learn from this episode How Debbie has worked with curriculum advisors in designing the game plan for Asher’s classes The big role developing executive functioning skills plays in Asher’s curriculum Why Debbie believes freedom and flexibility is one of the biggest benefits of homeschooling How Debbie has incorporated outside curriculums into her school approach How Debbie supplements formal curriculum with videos, books, and experiential learning Debbie’s favorite resources for teaching, subject by subject What a typical school day looks like for Debbie and Asher Why Debbie believes it’s critical that Asher participate in the actual design of their schedule and curriculum  Resources mentioned for homeschooling 2e children Kathi Kearney (curriculum advisor classes) Kristi Helgeson (curriculum advisor) Gifted Homeschooler’s Forum Athena’s Advanced Academy Yoga with Adrienne (YouTube channel) Life of Fred Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To close out this Summer season I’m bringing you a special double episode all about college, specifically, how families can navigate the application process and what’s changed since Covid, as well as understanding the ways in which colleges may, or may not, support their neurodivergent students and what families should be looking for when exploring potential schools.In the first half of this episode, you’ll hear me talking with Eric Karlan, the co-founder of Ivy Experience, a company providing academic tutoring, standardized test preparation, and essay consulting services. Since 2010, Eric has consulted thousands of high school and graduate school students on their college and graduate school application essays and resumes across the country and around the world. He gave a TEDx Talk in 2018 called “What do I need to know about you?” inspired by his work brainstorming with students on their college application essays. Eric and I talked about what’s different in the college admissions process today as a result of the Covid pandemic, and whether or not those changes are here to stay. Eric explains what “test-optional” and “test-blind” policies are and how they affect some students more than others, what schools are doing to bring in more diversity to their student body, and how students might choose to disclose their neurodivergence, disability, or other parts of their identities in their college application. Then in the second half of the episode, I’m joined by Elizabeth Hamblet, an expert in college disability services and helping neurodivergent high school students successfully transition to college. Elizabeth began her career as a high school special education teacher and then began working at the college level in the late 1990s. She is now at her third university, where she helps students with time management, organization, reading, and study skills. She offers programs on preparing students for successful college transition. Elizabeth’s newest book, Seven Steps to College Success: A Pathway for Students with Disabilities, will be out in early 2023.In our conversation, Elizabeth and I talk about what kinds of services colleges may offer students, how to vett schools to find out what kinds of supports and accommodations may be available and how to access them, and what parents should consider when helping their differently wired young adult explore potential colleges. Things you'll learn from this episode How the college admission process has changed as a result of the COVID pandemic What it actually means when colleges declare they are “test-optional” or “test blind,” and how applicants should navigate decisions around submitting tests How the young adult mental health is impacting students’ performance in high school, and how prospective colleges are considering those dips What schools are doing to foster more diversity within their student body (race, gender, neurodiversity, etc.) Considerations surrounding whether or not a student should disclose their neurodivergence, disability, or other parts of their identities in their college application How some universities have added expanded their disability and mental health services on campus in response to student’s needs since the pandemic What fee-base Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special kid’s POV edition, Asher and I talk about having ADHD and goal setting, a topic near and dear to my heart, but also an issue we hear from parents about a lot. Asher is someone who always seems to have a lot of projects he’s working on and he sets often ambitious goals centered around those projects. Yet because of the way Ash is wired, he can often get distracted or derailed, which results in him being frustrated with himself.I know a thing or two about goal setting — it’s actually the topic of a book I wrote for teen girls in 2015 called Doable, and so I am committed to using what I know about goals to help Asher learn how to successfully set and reach his own goals while also developing his planning, organizational, and time management skills. If you have kids with lots of ideas for things they’d like to do but seem to get stuck before they finish, or maybe even struggle to begin in the first place, this would be a good episode to listen to with them. Debbie Reber is the founder and CEO of Tilt Parenting and the host of the TiLT Parenting Podcast. 11-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast.  Things you’ll learn from this episode The connection between ADHD, executive functioning challenges, and goal planning Asher’s strategy for setting, measuring, and reaching goals How Asher uses both daily and weekly goal planning to keep him on track What typically derails Asher when he’s pursuing a goal The power of the daily check-in Asher’s tips for other kids looking to set and reach their personal goals  Resources mentioned for ADHD & goal setting Debbie’s book Doable: The Girls’ Guide to Accomplishing Just About Anything by Debbie Reber A Conversation with 11-year-old Asher About His Game-Changing Morning Routine (podcast) Understood.org Productivity Planner from Intelligent Change Download a copy of Asher’s Goal Planning Worksheet The Color Run (series of 5k races) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Have you ever wondered if SEL (social and emotional learning) in school and classrooms really matters? I’ve been exploring this question a lot about over the past year, as well trying to understand the recent increase in parental and political pushback in the US specifically that is putting the future of SEL in schools at risk.  I wanted to get into a deep conversation about SEL for the show, and so I reached out Dr. Joseph Lee, a psychiatrist with a special interest in social and emotional learning and helping people achieve what he calls optimal mental healthiness.We had exactly the conversation I was hoping we would, as we got into so many important topics, including the state of children and young adult’s mental health today, demystifying what SEL or social emotional learning actually is, why SEL matters, how it’s best introduced in schools, the limitations in the current educational model for social emotional learning curriculums, what the pushback against SEL is really about, and what it’s at stake if our children aren’t provided with social and emotional learning opportunities. I think this is such an important and timely conversation – I hope that you enjoy it and that you help me amplify this episode by sharing it in your communities.Dr. Joseph Lee, MD., is a Psychiatrist in private practice in Redondo Beach, California. He is also an educator in social and emotional learning (SEL) and provides individual and group supervision to licensed therapists looking to add mental healthiness and SEL principles to their own practices. Dr. Lee has a medical doctorate from University Of California, Los Angeles, School Of Medicine.Things you'll learn from this episode What Joseph Lee is seeing in his practice regarding and his thoughts on the state of children and young adult’s mental health today What SEL or social emotional learning actually is Ways that SEL can be weaved into traditional educational curriculum as well as the use of specific SEL curriculum What social and emotional learning inside schools looks like in practice The “why” behind the pushback against SEL in the recent years and what’s it’s at stake if we lose the ability to teach SEL in classrooms  Resources mentioned for SEL or Social and Emotional Learning Mental Healthiness / Dr. Joseph Lee’s website Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning Dr. Joseph Lee & Mental Healthiness on Facebook Dr. Joseph Lee on Twitter Daniel Goleman Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Goleman U.S. Surgeon General Issues Advisory on Youth Mental Health Crisis Further Exposed by COVID-19 Pandemic Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of the Tilt Parenting Podcast, I sit down with Dr. Jenna Flowers, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, and speaker, and the woman behind the fantastic new book, The Conscious Parent’s Guide to Coparenting: A Mindful Approach to Creating a Collaborative, Positive Parenting Plan.Dr. Jenna’s book is aimed at helping parents who are no longer together design a healthy alliance and share their parenting responsibilities in a way that best supports their children. In our conversation, we talk about the extra considerations for those parenting differently-wired kids, kids for whom consistency and support is critical to their healthy emotional development. Dr. Jenna also explains how parents of atypical kids can foster a structured, supportive environment in both homes, as well as shares her advice for things parents can do right now to strengthen their relationship with their co-parent, whether together or apart.  Dr. Jenna Flowers is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Author, and Speaker.  She completed her undergraduate studies at  the University of Michigan.  She then graduated with her MA in Spiritual Psychology from the prestigious University of Santa Monica, and Doctoral Degree in Psychology from the professional psychology school American Behavioral Studies Institute. Upon completing her Marriage and Family Therapy licensing board examinations in 2006, she has been in private practice in Newport Beach, California.  Things you’ll learn from this episode What exactly conscious coparenting is The importance of repairing hurts from our childhood in order to become more present with our own children How to help a child not take on responsibility or blame for their parents’ breakup What to do when both parents aren’t on the same page What a designed alliance with a coparent actually looks like  Resources mentioned for conscious coparenting Dr. Jenna Flowers’ personal website The Conscious Parent’s Guide to Coparenting by Dr. Jenna Flowers Brene Brown Samantha Ettus Parenting from the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive by Dr. Dan Siegel Conscious Mothering Curriculum How Positive Discipline Can Help Children Thrive, with Casey O’Roarty of Joyful Courage (Tilt Parenting Podcast) What it Takes to Live a Hea Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this conversation with Outschool co-founder and CEO Amir Nathoo, we discuss alternative education models and why they’re so critical in preparing all kids for the future, as well as get an inside look into the mission and vision for Outschool, learn more about they successfully create community through virtual classes, ways in which classes are designed to support students with different learning styles and much more. If this conversation sparks you to explore and enroll in classs at Outschool classes, be sure to use the code TILT to get a $20 credit towards your first class. Amir Nathoo is CEO of Outschool, a marketplace for live online classes for K-12 learners. Amir worked at Square, leading the development of Square Payroll. Previously, he served as CEO and co-founder of Trigger.io, a development platform for creating native mobile apps. He holds an MEng in Electrical and Information Sciences from The University of Cambridge. Amir lives in San Francisco with his wife Kirsty and their two children.Things you'll learn from this episode How Outschool grew through COVID and how online learning has changed in the past 2 years How alternative ways of learning are helping prepare our kids for the future The crucial part that community plays into Outschool’s platform and what they offer to families How Outschool supports different types of learners and why it has attracted neurodivergent learners from the start How Outschool finds and onboards teachers and how they develop their classes Amir’s tips for parents on vetting online learning programs to determine if they are right for your child/ren Resources mentioned for Outschool and Online Learning Outschool Dr. Joseph Lee Talks About the Importance of SEL / Social and Emotional Learning (podcast episode) Dr. Joseph Lee How to Prepare Differently Wired Kids for an Uncharted Future Matt Barnes on Embracing a New 21st Century Learning Model  Nurturing Creativity to Help Children Thrive, with Terry Roberts  The G Word documentary For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session302Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest is Jessica Lahey, an educator, writer, and speaker, and the author of one of my favorite parenting books, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. Jess shares her insights about how we can best prepare our kids for an independent, successful adulthood in the way we practice autonomy supportive parenting versus overparenting, what it means to let our kids “fail” to help them thrive, how we can help our kids learn how to “sit with frustration,” and much more.  Jessica Lahey is an educator, writer, and speaker. She is an English and writing teacher, correspondent for the Atlantic, commentator for Vermont Public Radio, and writes the “Parent-Teacher Conference” column for the New York Times.  Jessica earned a B.A. in Comparative Literature from the University of Massachusetts and a J.D. with a concentration in juvenile and education law from the University of North Carolina School of Law. She lives in New Hampshire with her husband and two sons.  Things you’ll learn from this episode The difference between overparenting and “autonomy supportive parenting" How many parents underestimate their kids and might be unknowingly fostering learned helplessness in them How we can build scaffolding for our kids  What Jessica wishes parents of atypical kids knew about teachers Jessica’s advice for how we can best advocate for our kids in school How we can foster more of a growth mindset in our children, especially those who are perfectionist, as well as how to NOT foster “learned helplessness”  Resources mentioned about the gift of failure Jessica Lahey’s website The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed by Jessica Lahey Why Parents Need To Let Their Kids Fail (The Atlantic article) Dr. Ross Greene Talks About Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (podcast episode) The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous and Smart About Money by Ron Lieber Am Writing (Jessica’s podcast) The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I haven’t done a solocast in a while, but when you talk, I listen, and this topic has been requested by many of you, so I decided to dedicate this episode to talk about navigating big life transitions with differently wired kids. Our family has gone through our fair share of big changes, which you’ll hear all about in this episode, so this is something that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about. Especially as a parent of a differently wired kid, I know that there are some extra challenges that might come up when their routines, environment, life circumstances, or supports change, and our kids are also more likely to be resistant to changes (even if they are beneficial). So today I’ll be sharing the strategies I’ve personally found helpful while going through big transitions with Asher. In this episode, I talk about key things such as why being honest when communicating with your kid is so important to help them understand and process change, how being vulnerable can be a way to show support, how to validate our kids’ feelings about the changes or transitions, and how to identify their concerns so you can make plans to address them in advance. I also share about what adjustment disorder is and the kind of extra support you might need during transitions. Tilt Parenting Founder & CEO Debbie Reber (MA) is a parenting activist, bestselling author, podcast host, and speaker. A certified Positive Discipline trainer and a regular contributor to Psychology Today and ADDitude Magazine, Debbie’s most recent book is Differently Wired: Raising an Exceptional Child in a Conventional World. Debbie’s Tilt Parenting Podcast is the top performing podcast for parents, caregivers, educators, and professionals raising and supporting neurodivergent children, and has more than 4 million downloads. In November 2018, she spoke at TEDxAmsterdam, delivering a talk entitled Why the Future Will Be Differently Wired. In the summer of 2020, she co-created the Parenting in Place Masterclass series.Things you'll learn from this episode The benefits and growth that can come from navigating big changes as a family Why honesty is so important when communicating with your child about big changes What to share versus what not to share with your child about the transitions you go through How to validate the big emotions and thoughts that big transitions can bring up in your child The importance of doing your own work as a parent to be able to support our kids during transitions What adjustment disorder is and the extra support you might need to help your child through one How being vulnerable with your kids can be really supportive for them Identifying the concerns that our kids have and coming up with plans to address them in advance Creating new routines to create security for our kids during big transitions  For more info, visit: https://www.tiltparenting.com/session301Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of the TiLT Parenting Podcast, I talk with Samantha Ettus, a renowned work-life balance expert, author, radio show host, and media personality. Sam is passionate about helping people, and especially moms, find create a more fulfilled, healthier, and more satisfying life. She writes about her ideas in her new book The Pie Life: A Guilt Free Recipe for Success and Satisfaction.I was excited to talk with Sam about her new book and ideas behind what she refers to as “embracing the mess and bumps” that come hand-in-hand with living a truly fulfilled life, since messiness and bumps seem to a part of any parent raising a differently-wired kid’s experience. In our conversation, we talk about everything from self-care and intentional parenting to getting our partners up to speed since often moms seem to be the ones holding onto a lot of the information relevant to our kids’ day-to-day life.Samantha Ettus is a work-life expert whose goal is to find the spark within each one of us and turn it into a fire. She is a best-selling author, a writer for Forbes, a sought after speaker, a Harvard MBA, and host of a nationally syndicated call-in radio show. Sam has shared her advice on hundreds of television shows and media outlets including The TODAY Show, Access Hollywood, NBC Nightly News, CNN, The Doctors, and Fox and Friends, and in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times and USA Today. Things you’ll learn from this episode Why working moms are, in many ways, set up to fail Thoughts on being a more intentional parent, embracing empathy, and seeing our kids for who they are What’s reasonable to expect when designing a healthy, fulfilled life, and how to find work-life balance How to get your parenting partner on-board / up-to-speed on important matters related to our children Why self-care is so critical for mothers and how to build self-care practices into daily life Sam’s thoughts on juggling work and the unpredictable nature of raising a differently-wired kid  Resources mentioned for work-life balance + parenting Samantha Ettus’ website The Pie Life: A Guilt-Free Recipe for Success and Satisfaction by Samantha Ettus Sam’s Tedx Talk: The Secret to Unlocking a Child’s Potential Working Mom’s Lifestyle Radio Show Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I wanted to have a frank and honest conversation with my friend, executive function coach, and frequent guest of the pod, Seth Perler, about what is and  is not working in schools right now, especially as we are once again in that back-to-school season. Of course there have been many changes in education since the start of COVID, including the inclusion of technology in almost every aspect of learning and the increased testing that students are being subjected to since returning to campus. And we know that neurodivergent kids tend to be impacted by these changes more than other students. So what can we do as parents? Where should we be putting our energies? That’s what Seth and I get into in this episode.Seth Perler is an Executive Function Coach and Consultant with extensive experience addressing extraordinarily diverse learning needs. Seth was a teacher for 12 years, working with a diverse range of Gifted and Twice Exceptional (2E) students in charter schools for 8 years, and teaching students with ADD, ADHD, Dyslexia and other executive function challenges, as well as students with developmental disabilities. He’s been an Executive Function coach for middle, high school and college students since 2010.Things you'll learn from this episode Seth’s opinion on what is working and what is not working in schools right now Advice on how to push back on the increase in testing that has started since students returned to in-person lessons What Seth would say to parents who have kids with ADHD who are checked out of their school day Ideas for getting educators on board in shifting the paradigm How to collaborate with a student who insists executive functioning strategies don’t actually work for them Practical strategies or ideas for parents who are dealing with that challenge of technology being useful but full of distractions and how to tailor the approach if a kid is showing resistance Seth’s thoughts on school refusal and children’s mental health Resources mentioned for What Is / Isn't Working in School Seth Perler’s website Seth Perler’s YouTube Channel Introduction to Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory A “Masterclass” in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler, Part 1 (podcast episode) A “Masterclass” in Executive Functioning with Seth Perler, Part 2 (podcast episode) A Conversation with Executive Functioning Coach Seth Perler (original podcast episode) Seth Perler Talks to Asher About Resistance (podcast episode) Seth Perler on Helping Kids Work Through Resistance, Part 2 for Parents (podcast episode) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices