Sex and Psychology Podcast

Ever hear that story about how Victorian-era doctors were using vibrators on female patients who had been diagnosed with “hysteria?” That used to be one of my favorite stories to tell in my human sexuality class. However, it turns out that the story isn’t true. It’s time to learn the real history of the vibrator—and sex toys more generally. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I interviewed Hallie Lieberman, a sex historian and journalist. She is the author of Buzz: A Stimulating History of the Sex Toy, and she is currently working on a book on the history of gigolos. We had a fascinating, wide-ranging conversation all about the past, present, and future of sex toys. This is one episode you definitely don’t want to miss! Here’s a sampling of what you’ll learn in this episode: How long have humans been using sex toys? What’s the earliest known sex toy in existence? Did you know that butt plugs were once marketed as a cure for asthma? (Seriously—I’m not joking!) What’s the real story of the history of the vibrator? Did you know that selling and possessing sex toys was illegal in many U.S. states until very recently—and that it’s still illegal to sell sex toys in one state? (You’ll have to listen to find out which one!) How do sex toys vary across cultures? How are sex toys going to change in the future? Can women really get “addicted” to their vibrators? Is it safe to share sex toys? Toward the end, we also talk a little about what Hallie has learned from studying the history of gigolos. To learn more about Hallie and her work, check out her website here, and be sure to pick up a copy of her latest book, Buzz, to learn more about the “stimulating” history of sex toys. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos and book covers used with guest permission.

For most of us, our experience with sex education centered primarily around preventing sexually transmitted infections and unwanted pregnancies, with pleasure being mentioned rarely or not at all. In other words, few of us ever learn anything meaningful about how to have good sex. We also don’t typically learn how sex might change with age, or how to deal with common sexual difficulties. Fortunately, the Sex and Psychology podcast is here to give you the sex ed that you definitely didn’t get in school! For this episode, I interviewed journalist Michael Castleman, who has covered sex research and therapy extensively in his 46-year writing career. He has written more than 2,000 magazine and web articles, answered more than 12,000 sex questions, and published 17 books, which—together—have sold more than 2 million copies. His latest book is titled Sizzling Sex for Life. Michael is a wealth of knowledge about all things sex, and we cover a lot of ground in this episode. Topics we explore include: What do people at different stages of life (young adults, middle-age adults, and seniors) need to know in order to have better sex? How do you start productive and healthy conversations about sex with your partner(s)? How do you tell a partner what you really want in bed? How can sexual enhancers and novelties—sex toys, lubricants, sexy underwear, and more—make our sex lives better? What do LGBTQ+ folks need to know about better sex? And what can lesbians teach all of us about great sex? Why do so many seniors explore kink for the first time in older age? How does BDSM help people cope with chronic illnesses? What is the average penis size, and does penis size really matter? Is it normal for people in relationships to masturbate? What are the most common questions and concerns people have about sex? *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Kissing is one of the most common sexual and romantic activities, and it’s often people’s very first partnered sexual experience. Surprisingly, though, kissing is something that is rarely studied by sex researchers—and when it is, it’s often lumped in with affectionate behaviors, like cuddling and hand-holding, rather than sexual behaviors. So what do we know about kissing? For example, what is it that makes a kiss good or bad? And can science teach us how to become better kissers? In this episode of the podcast, I did a deep dive into the science of kissing with Dr. Ashley Thompson, who is an Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Minnesota Duluth. She has published more than 40 academic papers on sexual and romantic relationships spanning a wide range of topics, including infidelity, consensual non-monogamy, gender, kissing, and more. Questions addressed in this episode include: How often do people in romantic relationships kiss on average? When do people usually have their very first kiss? And how do they tend to look back on that experience? Does it make us smile—or cringe? Why do we kiss? What are the primary motivations for kissing, and how do they differ across gender and personality? How important is kissing, and what are the potential benefits of it? Is the first kiss in a relationship really a make-or-break moment, as it is so often depicted in the media? How important is that first kiss, really? What makes a kiss good? What makes a kiss bad? Can you learn to become a better kisser? What does science tell us about good kissing? To learn more about Dr. Thompson and her work, check out her website here. Also, be sure to follow her on Twitter @psycashley. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos and book covers used with guest permission.

As a sex educator, one of the topics I get asked about most often is anal sex. This isn’t surprising, given that this subject usually isn’t discussed at all in most people’s sex education courses—and, if it is, it’s usually just described as a very high-risk activity. Also, if you look for information online, you’ll inevitably encounter a lot of conflicting reports and it can be hard to know what to trust. So what do you really need to know? What do people tend to get wrong about anal sex, and how can you have safer and more pleasurable encounters? For this episode of the podcast, I interviewed Dr. Evan Goldstein, who is the Founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical, a leading private practice specializing in an elite standard of sexual health and wellness care for the modern gay man. He is also the founder of Future Method, a sexual wellness company bringing science into anal sexual health. We had a wide-ranging discussion about all things anal, and this episode is for anyone—regardless of gender or sexuality—who has explored or is interested in exploring this activity. Topics covered in this episode include: How many people are having anal sex? Why do so many people find anal stimulation to be pleasurable? Also, what do we know about prostate-induced orgasms? Does anal sex really cause long-term damage to the body? What’s the difference between the anal sex you see in porn compared to what it’s like in real life? Is it normal for anal sex to be painful? How can you make anal sex a safer and more pleasurable experience? What do people need to know about anal douching? Is it necessary? And what’s the safest way to do it? To learn more about Dr. Goldstein and his work, check out his medical practice here. Also, be sure to check out his Future Method products, designed for science-backed sexual wellness. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, a sociologist and leading expert on polyamorous families with children, dives into the world of polyamory. She uncovers how common myths—like the notion that polyamorous relationships are purely about sex—distort understanding. Discussion points include the emotional development of children in poly families and how they actually thrive. Dr. Sheff also tackles the complexities of jealousy versus 'compersion' and the unique family dynamics that come into play, all while promoting a more nuanced view of consensual non-monogamy.

A lot of people seem to be under the impression that men’s sexuality is simple. They see men as being perpetually horny and DTF and as always wanting more sex than women. They also tend to see sex as an inherently physical experience for men, having little do with emotions or intimacy. However, it turns out that this way of thinking about men and sex is all wrong. For this episode of the podcast, I interviewed Dr. Sarah Hunter Murray, who holds a PhD in Human Sexuality from the University of Guelph and is a Registered Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in Winnipeg, Manitoba. She is author of the book “Not Always in the Mood: The New Science of Men, Sex, & Relationships.” We cover a lot of ground in this episode, including: Is men’s sexuality as simple as we’ve been led to believe? Is women’s sexuality more “complex” or “complicated” than men’s? Do men have a higher sex drive than women? What factors influence libido and sexual desire in men? Is sex a more emotional experience for women than it is for men? Why do so many couples struggle with sexual initiation? What are some tips or strategies that can help when it comes to initiating sex? What do we know about sexual desire in gay, bisexual, and other sexual minority men? Are the sexual struggles and challenges they face similar to or different from those experienced by heterosexual men? To learn more about Sarah’s work, check out her website here. You can also pick up a copy of her book Not Always in the Mood here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos and book covers used with guest permission.

In the eyes of many, pornography is inherently problematic. In fact, some have gone as far as to dub it a “public health crisis” because they see it as addictive and as one of the root causes of sexual violence. But is porn really such a major threat to individuals and to society? It turns out that science has a complex and nuanced story to tell about the effects of porn. It’s not inherently good or bad. It can have different effects on different people, and it’s important for us to understand when and for whom porn is potentially problematic, as well as for whom it has positive effects. In this episode of the podcast, I explore the science of porn with Dr. Emily Rothman, a Professor of Community Health Sciences at the Boston University School of Public Health. She has authored more than 100 peer-reviewed publications and is the co-creator of a curriculum for high school students about pornography that is used by sex educators and health teachers from around the world. She also has a forthcoming book titled “Pornography and Public Health.” We cover a lot of ground in this episode, including: What is the link between porn and sexual violence? And what accounts for the fact that different studies have come to wildly different conclusions? How does porn affect teenagers? What are the potential positive and negative effects? Is pornography addictive? What do we need to be teaching adolescents about porn? What do parents need to know? And why is “porn literacy” so important? What is it like to be a porn researcher? And how do you communicate effectively about the science of porn to the public? What do we need to do to improve porn research going forward? To learn more about Dr. Rothman’s work, check out her university website here and watch her TED Talk on how porn changes the way that teens think about sex here. Also, be sure to pick up a copy of her book Pornography and Public Health! *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Having a threesome is one of the most popular sexual fantasies. In fact, when I surveyed more than 4,000 Americans about their biggest turn-ons for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that threesomes were the single most common thing people mentioned when they described their favorite fantasy of all time. However, despite the widespread appeal of this sex act, relatively few people have ever had one in real life. But just how many people have ever had a threesome before? What were their experiences like? And what do people who are thinking about having a threeway need to know? For this episode of the podcast, I interviewed Dr. Ryan Scoats, who is often reported in the media as being the first person in the world to get a “PhD in threesomes.” He is currently a Lecturer in Sociology at Coventry University, and his latest book is titled Understanding Threesomes: Gender, Sex, and Consensual Non-Monogamy. We cover a lot of ground in this episode, including: Why is there so little scientific research on threesomes, and why is this important to study in the first place? Why is the idea of having a threesome such a popular turn-on? How many people have ever had a threesome before? Are certain types of people more likely to have them than others? Why do women tend to report less interest in threesomes than men? Under what circumstances are women most interested in group sex? What are people’s experiences with threesomes actually like? And what are the most common issues that tend to come up? What happens after a threesome? What do people who are thinking about having a threesome need to know in order to increase the odds of a positive and pleasurable experience for all involved? To learn more about Ryan’s work, check out his website here. You can also pick up a copy of his book Understanding Threesomes here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

In sexual encounters between men and women, research has consistently found that there’s a sizable orgasm gap, such that men tend to reach orgasm with far greater frequency than their female partners. For example, when people reflect on their sexual experience over the past month, heterosexual men report orgasming 95% of the time, compared to just 65% of the time for heterosexual women. Interestingly, however, there’s no difference in orgasm rates when comparing gay men to lesbians, suggesting that this situation is unique to situations where women are having sex with men. So why does the orgasm gap exist in the first place? And what can we do to close it? For this episode of the podcast, I interviewed Dr. Laurie Mintz, who has studied the orgasm gap extensively. In addition to running a sex therapy practice for individuals and couples, Dr. Mintz is a professor and sexuality educator at the University of Florida. She is a prolific researcher and author, having published more than 50 academic journal articles and two books, with her latest being Becoming Cliterate. We cover a lot of ground in this episode, including: Where does the orgasm gap come from? What steps can we take to help close this gap? How does a lack of comprehensive sex education contribute to the orgasm gap and to some of the most common sexual problems people experience? How does one know when it’s time to consult a sex therapist? What are the biggest myths and misconceptions people have about sex? Is it really true that women reach their sexual “peak” later than men? Is it really true that sex is a more emotional experience for women but a more physical experience for men? To learn more about Laurie’s work and books, check out her website here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos and book covers used with guest permission.

There are a lot of stereotypes about disabled persons, but one of the biggest is that they are necessarily asexual. However, that’s just not true. Disabled people have sexual wants and needs. They masturbate. They have sex. But almost no one talks about this. Sex and disability is a taboo topic that’s been on the margins for far too long, and we need to change that. For this episode of the podcast, I interviewed Andrew Gurza, an award winning Disability Awareness Consultant. He has spoken all over the world on sex and disability and he is the host of Disability After Dark: The Podcast Shining a Bright Light on Disability Stories. Andrew is also developing a line of sex toys for persons with hand limitations designed to “put sexual pleasure within everyone’s reach.” We cover a lot of ground in this episode, including: Why is sex and disability such a taboo topic in the first place, and why is it important for us to break that taboo? How can all of us benefit from shining a light on this subject? How is our healthcare system failing us when it comes to addressing the sexual health needs of disabled persons, and how do we change that? What are the conversations we need to be having around sex and intellectual disabilities? How is sex and disability viewed in other cultures? What can we learn from them? When and how do you disclose a disability to a potential sexual or romantic partner? If a potential partner discloses a disability to you, what types of questions and responses are appropriate? Which ones are inappropriate? How is SexTech changing the conversations we’re having about sex and disability? How is technology improving the intimate lives of disabled persons? To learn more about Andrew’s work, check out his website here. Also, you can learn about his new line of sex toys here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos and book covers used with guest permission.