Sex and Psychology Podcast

Sexual difficulties are more common than you might think. In fact, data from large nationally-representative surveys indicate that just over half of women and more than 40% of men report having experienced at least one sexual problem in the last year alone. The most common problem areas include issues with desire, arousal, orgasm, painful intercourse, and performance anxiety. So how fixable are these problems, and how are they most effectively treated? For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus. She is the cofounder and clinical director of Maze Women’s Sexual Health, the largest independent women’s sexual health center in the United States. For twenty years, she has overseen the treatment of thousands of women ages 18-81. Her latest book is titled Sex Points: Reclaim Your Sex Life With the Revolutionary Multi-Point System. We talk all about the novel system she created to help women understand where they are in their sex lives. We also discuss how everyone—at any age, in any situation—can have better sex. Some of the topics we cover include: Why are vibrators “the most underutilized tool in women’s sexual arsenal?” Why do we need to get away from the idea that we can fix every sexual problem simply by taking the right pill? What does it really mean to have great sex? What are the most effective treatments for low sexual desire and/or arousal? How do you treat problems with painful sex? What can be done for people who have difficulty orgasming, or who have never had an orgasm before? How do you deal with sexual anxiety effectively? To learn more about Bat Sheva, check out her website here. Also, be sure to pick up a copy of her latest book, Sex Points. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

The COVID-19 pandemic disrupted our sexual and romantic lives in a lot of different ways over the last year, and while some of the changes that occurred are temporary, others may stick around for years to come. So what’s in store for sex and relationships in the future, post-COVID world? For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Jessica Pels and Dr. Amanda Gesselman. Jessica is the Editor-in-Chief of Cosmopolitan, the largest young women’s media brand in the world. She oversees the content and editorial operations for Cosmopolitan’s magazine, website, and social media. Amanda is the Associate Director for Research at The Kinsey Institute and she researches new trends in the romantic and sexual lives of adults around the world, as well as how technology can be used to facilitate meaningful connections. Cosmopolitan recently partnered with the Kinsey Institute to survey more than 2,000 Americans about the future of sex and relationships after COVID. The results are fascinating and were published in the April issue of Cosmo. In this episode, we explore the story behind this unique research collaboration and key findings from the survey. Some of the topics we cover include: Why are so many people suddenly prioritizing committed relationships over casual sex? Will this trend persist? How has the nature of online dating changed during the pandemic, and what will online dating look like in the future? How has this pandemic changed communication around sexual risk, and will this situation ultimately lead us to have safer sex in the future? How did people in relationships fare during the pandemic? How has COVID-19 shifted people’s attitudes toward both infidelity and consensual non-monogamy? Why were so many people experimenting with their sexuality during the pandemic? What’s the psychology behind this, and what does it mean for our sex lives going forward? To learn more about the findings from this survey, visit Cosmo’s website or check out the latest issue. You can also follow @Jessica_Pels and @angesselman on Twitter to learn more about their work. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Dr. Ian Kerner is the Sherlock Holmes of sex—he’s a detective who helps people to understand the mysteries behind their sexual problems. His approach to sex therapy begins with a simple question: “So tell me about the last time you had sex.” This question establishes the “scene of the crime,” and then it all becomes a matter of searching for the clues that led up to it. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Kerner, who co-leads the sex therapy program at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy in New York City. He is the New York Times best-selling author of the book She Comes First, and his latest book titled: So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. We talk all about Dr. Kerner’s unique approach to sex therapy, how people at home can use it as a form of self-help, and general tips for improving your intimate life. Specific topics we cover include: How is sex therapy like a form of detective work? And how can this approach help sex therapists to better serve their clients? How can you better understand your own—and our partner’s—sexual scripts, and why is this a vital first step in fixing a sexual problem? What are the different frameworks for sexual desire? And what can you do if you and your partner have different desire frameworks? How is sex therapy similar or different with heterosexual patients compared to LGBTQ patients? Why is it important for us to change the way we think about our own sexual fantasies? How can you more effectively communicate about your fantasies with a partner? To learn more about Dr. Kerner, check out his website here. Also, be sure to pick up a copy of his new book, So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

People have a tendency to think that the best sex of their life is in the past—it’s the sex they had when they were younger. So when people think about what their sex lives will look like in the future, they don’t necessarily see themselves as having much to look forward to. However, this line of thinking is all wrong. Sex can—and often does—get better with age. So what do you need to know when it comes to having great sex for your entire life? For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with author Tracey Cox. Tracey has been writing about sex for 30 years and has published 16 books, with her latest being Great Sex Starts at 50. She has been everywhere in the media, she writes a regular column for MailOnline, and she hosts a weekly radio show. Tracey also has her own line of sex toys with Lovehoney. We talk about how to cultivate good habits in the bedroom to keep your sex life hot for decades to come. We also address common sexual issues that arise and how to deal with them effectively. Specific topics we cover include: How can sex get even better as we get older? How do you start conversations about sex with your partner—and keep them going over time? Why should we stop thinking about orgasm as the ultimate goal of sex? How do you deal with body image issues that negatively impact your sex life? How do you get the spark back in your relationship when passion declines? Why is monogamy harder on women’s libido than it is on men’s? How do you deal with common sexual problems that arise with age (e.g., vaginal dryness, erectile dysfunction)? How can using sex toys transform your sex life? How do you deal with a sexless marriage or relationship? To learn more about Tracey, check out her website here. Also, be sure to pick up a copy of her book, Great Sex Starts at 50. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Much has been said and written in the popular media about ‘hookup culture’ and the rise of casual sex. Trend pieces often portray casual sex as inherently damaging and bad for our mental health. But is this actually the case? How does casual sex really affect us? And what do you need to know when it comes to having good casual sex? For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova, a sex researcher, speaker, writer, and consultant. She currently teaches human sexuality courses at New York University and also runs a course called Open Smarter, which helps people figure out what type of relationship is right for them based on science. In the first half of the program, we talk about Zhana’s research on casual sex, and in the second half, we discuss monogamy, consensual non-monogamy, and everything in between. Topics we cover include: What does it mean to have ‘casual sex’ anyway? What are the different forms it can take? How many people are having casual sex, and is this increasing or decreasing? How does casual sex affect us, for better or for worse? Is casual sex really as ‘casual’ as the name implies, or are people looking for more than just sex? How can people have better casual sex? How do you know whether monogamy or non-monogamy is right for you? When and for whom is it a good idea to consider opening up a relationship? If you’re thinking about opening up your relationship or exploring the world of consensual non-monogamy, what do you need to know to start out on the right foot? To learn more about Zhana and her Open Smarter course, check out her website here. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

For her doctoral dissertation, Dr. Katherine Frank worked as a dancer in several strip clubs and interviewed the regulars. As a student of anthropology, it was important for her to “do as the natives do” and really immerse herself in that environment to truly understand it. And what she learned is absolutely fascinating. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Frank to give you an inside look at her research, what really happens inside a strip club, and what the people visiting these establishments are really looking for. In the first half of the program, we discuss her dissertation work and the book she published based on it, titled G-Strings and Sympathy: Strip Club Regulars and Male Sexual Desire. In the second half, we discuss her recent research on group sex, which she explored in the book Plays Well in Groups: A Journey Through the World of Group Sex. Topics we cover include: Who are the men who visit strip clubs? What are their backgrounds like, and why are they visiting these clubs in the first place? (Hint: It’s about far more than sexual arousal!) How did working in these clubs change the way that Dr. Frank views the customers? How challenging is it to do a university-approved study that involves working inside a strip club? Is it really true that ovulating strippers get more tips than women on hormonal contraceptives? Why is group sex such a popular fantasy and how many people have ever done it in real life? How does consent work in an orgy? For people interested in group sex, what do they need to know when it comes to having safe and pleasurable experiences? To learn more about Dr. Frank and her work, visit her website and be sure to check out her books G-Strings and Sympathy and Plays Well in Groups. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What actually goes on at a sex research conference? A lot of people seem to have the impression that it’s just a non-stop sex party. I hate to disappoint, but that’s not the case! I’m going lift the curtain and tell you what really goes on when a group of sex researchers get together. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Dr. Shayna Skakoon-Sparling. Shayna is a postdoctoral fellow at Ryerson University who studies sexual health decision-making and sexual negotiation. Shayna and I have been going to sex research conferences together for years and, in this episode, we give you a behind the scenes look at what these events are really like. We also discuss Shayna’s research on how sexual arousal affects the kinds of decisions that people make, sexually and otherwise. Topics we cover include: What is a meeting of sex researchers really like? How are the sex lives of sex researchers similar to or different from the general population? What kinds of things will you hear about at a sex research conference that you won’t hear anywhere else? What are some of the most fascinating things we’ve learned by going to these conferences, and how have these meetings impacted our careers? How does sexual arousal affect sexual decision making? Also, how does arousal affect non-sexual decisions, including the moves that people make in a card game? How do you stimulate sexual arousal in a research lab anyway? How does a partner’s level of physical attractiveness affect people’s willingness to use (or not use) condoms? To learn more about Shayna and her work, visit her website and follow her on Twitter @shaynagram *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.  Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

What really takes place behind the scenes on an adult film set? What is it like to attend an orgasmic meditation retreat? Journalist Tracy-Clark Flory has the answers. In her lengthy career covering the sex beat in the popular media, she’s gone where few of us have gone before—and she’s learned a lot about the state of our current sexual culture. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I sat down with Tracy to talk about her new memoir, titled Want Me: A Sex Writer’s Journey Into the Heart of Desire. Tracy is a senior staff writer at Jezebel and her writings on sex have been published all over in the media. Topics we cover in this episode include: How did being a sex writer influence the relationship Tracy had with her parents? What was the experience of finding her father’s porn like as a teenage girl? And how do boys and girls differ in their emotional reactions to finding a parent’s porn? What has the public reaction been to Tracy sharing the most intimate details of her sex life in her writings, and how has this changed over time? How can women navigate the complex mixed-messages our culture provides around women and sex? What really happens behind the scenes on a porn set? What kinds of things do people tend to get wrong about how porn actually works? What is it like to attend an orgasmic meditation retreat? How has being a sex writer affected Tracy’s own sex life and relationships? To learn more about Tracy and her work, visit her website and be sure to pick up a copy of her new book, Want Me: A Sex Writer’s Journey Into the Heart of Desire. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Imagine there was a drug you could take to enhance your relationship or deepen your connection with your partner. Or a drug that could get rid of romantic jealousy. Or a drug that could help you move on faster after a traumatic breakup. This isn’t science fiction—these drugs are out there, and they just might be the future of falling in and out of love. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I interviewed Brian Earp, who is the Associate Director of the Yale-Hastings Program in Ethics and Health Policy at Yale University and The Hastings Center. He is also a Research Fellow in the Uehiro Centre for Practical Ethics at the University of Oxford and author of the incredible book Love Drugs: The Chemical Future of Relationships. We had an absolutely fascinating discussion about love drugs (chemicals that enhance bonds between partners) and anti-love drugs (chemicals that break bonds), and all of the ethical and other implications of using medications to regulate our relationships and breakups. Questions we answer include: What is love? And what is the biochemical basis for it? How can MDMA (the active ingredient in ecstasy) help struggling partners? Could it (and should it) play a role in couple’s therapy? What does jealousy have in common with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)? And can common OCD treatments help people to get rid of pathological jealousy in relationships? How do you maintain your authentic self if you’re using drugs to facilitate connections with a partner? Should you change yourself to fit your relationship, or change your relationship to fit you? How can drugs help us to get over bad breakups? What are the implications of numbing ourselves to relationship trauma? Can drugs help people who are in love with an abusive partner to break the bond and exit a toxic situation? Should drugs be used to regulate “deviant” sexual desires and “hypersexual” behavior? Is this helpful or harmful? Will drugs be used to impose a certain sexual or relationship morality on people? What are the ethical implications of all of this? To learn more about Brian and his work, follow him on Twitter and be sure to pick up a copy of his new book, Love Drugs: The Chemical Future of Relationships. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos and book covers used with guest permission.

Bisexuality continues to be one of the most misunderstood and controversial sexualities. Some people don’t think it exists at all and that it’s just a transitional identity people adopt before coming out as gay. Also, even among those who recognize that bisexuality exists, many believe things about it that aren’t true, such as the idea that bisexuality necessarily means equal attraction to men and women, or that bisexuals can only be attracted to partners within the gender binary. It’s time to bust some myths about bisexuality. For this episode of the Sex and Psychology Podcast, I interviewed Zachary Zane, a Brooklyn-based columnist, sex expert, and activist whose work focuses on sexuality, lifestyle, culture, and the LGBTQ community. He has a sex advice column at Men’s Health titled “Sexplain It” and his work has been published in Rolling Stone, The Washington Post, GQ, Playboy, and more. He also has a weekly newsletter, titled BOYSLUT, where he writes erotic essays. In this episode, we talk all things bisexuality. We also discuss the taboos around sex toys for men and answer sex questions submitted by my Instagram followers. Things you’ll learn include: What does it really mean to be bisexual? What’s the difference between bisexuality and pansexuality? What are the most common things people (and popular media portrayals) get wrong about bisexuality? How can bisexual people better navigate relationships in the face of bisexual stigma? How are bisexuals viewed within the LGBTQ+ community, and how can we increase bisexual acceptance? How do we break the taboo around sex toys for men? For men who are new to using sex toys, where’s a good place to start? Is simultaneous orgasm a realistic goal during sex? How can you tell if someone is flirting versus just being friendly? Why is pegging so popular? To learn more about Zach and his work, check out his website here, where you can subscribe to his newsletter and keep up with his latest writings. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos and book covers used with guest permission.