Sex and Psychology Podcast

Dr. Justin Lehmiller
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May 8, 2026 • 33min

Episode 499: Navigating Love and Relationships After Trauma

Dr. Heather MacIntosh, psychoanalyst and director of McGill’s Couple and Family Therapy Clinic, explores healing relationships after trauma. She discusses how partnerships can become spaces for repair. Topics include when to choose individual versus couple work, safe ways to share trauma, rebuilding sexual safety with small steps, and expecting setbacks as part of progress.
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May 5, 2026 • 36min

Episode 498: The Hidden Ways Trauma Shows Up In Relationships

“Trauma” is a word you hear everywhere today, from social media to conversations about dating and relationships. But in psychology, it has a more precise meaning, and understanding it can help explain the patterns we see in how we think, feel, and connect. In this episode, we explore how trauma shows up in our relationships and sex lives. My guest is Dr. Heather MacIntosh, a psychoanalyst and clinical psychologist, Associate Professor, and Director of the Couple and Family Therapy Clinic at McGill University. She is author of the books Healing Broken Bonds: A Couples Workbook for Complex Trauma and Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma: a Manual for Therapists. She also hosts the podcast Healing Broken Bonds. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What does trauma mean in a clinical sense? What happens in the brain and body when someone experiences trauma? How does trauma show up in our intimate lives and relationships? Why doesn’t trauma affect everyone the same way? How can trauma affect sexual arousal and desire? You can visit Heather’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking for a dating experience where you can explore on your own terms, check out Feeld, a dating app for the curious. Go to feeld.co or download Feeld on the App Store or Google Play. If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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May 1, 2026 • 27min

Episode 497: Inside The World Of Breast Implants And Chest Surgery

More cosmetic surgeries are performed on the chest than almost anywhere else on the body, with breast implants leading the way. Not long ago, “bigger is better” defined the ideal, but we’re seeing a shift toward smaller, more natural results. So what’s driving that change? Today, we’re diving into the world of chest surgery, and what it reveals about beauty, power, and the making of the “ideal” breast. I am joined once again by Sarah Thornton, a sociologist, non-fiction writer, and author of four critically acclaimed books. Thornton’s most widely read book is Seven Days in the Art World, which is translated into over 20 languages. Her latest is titled, Tits Up: The Top Half of Women’s Liberation, which explores the significance of breasts across radically different social worlds. Some of the specific topics we explore include: How common are breast implants today? How have aesthetic goals shifted over time? What shapes patient preferences in augmentation? Are there cross-cultural differences in breast augmentation? How do augmentation, reconstruction, and reduction differ in purpose and meaning? Check out Sarah’s website to learn more about her work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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15 snips
Apr 28, 2026 • 31min

Episode 496: How Breasts Became Erotic – The Surprising History

Sarah Thornton, sociologist and nonfiction writer of Tits Up, explores how breasts shifted from feeding organs to erotic symbols. She traces wet nursing, infant formula, class and media influences. Cultural differences, Hollywood’s role, and why the nipple sparks debate are all discussed in lively historical and social context.
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Apr 24, 2026 • 30min

Episode 495: Why Even Happy Couples Fight (And How To Do It Right)

A lot of people believe that if you’re in the “right” relationship, you shouldn’t fight. They think that conflict means something is wrong or that you’re incompatible. However conflict isn’t a failure—it’s inevitable. In today’s episode, we’re rethinking what conflict really means and how to navigate it in healthier, more constructive ways. I am joined once again by Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, an award-winning social psychologist, TED Speaker, and relationship expert. Her latest book, Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love, introduces the Emergent Love Model, a framework born from research with hundreds of couples across 41 countries. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Is it true that happy couples don’t fight? How can conflict avoidance be an even bigger problem than frequent conflict? Why is it important to think about conflict as a disagreement rather than a fight? How can couples navigate mismatches in their conflict style? What does “healthy conflict” look like in practice? Learn more about Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh at www.Sara-Nasserzadeh.com and join her online community here and follow her on Instagram here.  Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Soaking Wet from VB Health is the world’s first probiotic specifically designed for vaginal and vulva health and wellness. It’s a doctor formulated blend of prebiotics, probiotics, and vitamins specifically designed to restore balance and increase lubrication. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Apr 21, 2026 • 33min

Episode 494: The Six Essential Ingredients For Lasting Love

Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, award-winning social psychologist and author of Love by Design, shares a research-based blueprint for building lasting love. She reframes attraction as renewable, breaks down respect and trust into everyday behaviors, and offers concrete ways to practice compassion, compromise, and intentional loving actions.
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Apr 17, 2026 • 35min

Episode 493: Straight Men Who Have Sex With Other Men

Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous Podcast and author of Strictly Anonymous Confessions, shares anonymous stories about men who identify as straight yet seek sex with men. The conversation covers prevalence, secret encounters, erotic versus orientation, midlife exploration, swinging dynamics, stigma differences between male and female same-sex play, and sexual flexibility and curiosity.
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Apr 14, 2026 • 37min

Episode 492: Why So Many People Fantasize About Sharing Their Partner

Being turned on by the idea of sharing your partner with someone else is a surprisingly common sexual fantasy, and it’s something many couples are actively exploring in real life. In today’s show, we’re diving into a practice known as hotwifing, including how common it is and the psychology behind it. My guest is Kathy Kay, host of the Strictly Anonymous Podcast and author of the new book Strictly Anonymous Confessions: Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, a collection of real, unfiltered stories from people revealing their most private sexual thoughts and experiences. Some of the specific topics we explore include: What is hotwifing, and how is it similar to or different from cuckolding? What are some common themes involved in hotwifing fantasies? Why is hotwifing appealing to so many people? What are people’s experiences with hotwifing like? To learn more, check out the Strictly Anonymous website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Let this Mother’s Day be a reminder that she deserves care, too. Discover how Cozy Earth turns everyday routines into moments of softness and ease. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for an exclusive 20% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.
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Apr 10, 2026 • 29min

Episode 491: Sex, Disability, And Barriers To Care

Dr. Kirsten Greer, a Kinsey Institute postdoc who studies sexuality and disability, discusses why disability is often erased in sexual health. She outlines everyday barriers to care and gaps in provider training. The conversation covers communication challenges, autistic and blind adults’ needs, and practical ideas for inclusive sex education and accessible healthcare.
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Apr 7, 2026 • 30min

Episode 490: Why People Say Yes To Sex They Don’t Want

Wanting sex and consenting to sex aren’t the same thing. Sometimes we agree to sex we don’t want, and other times we turn down opportunities for sex we do want. Today, we’re going to explore the distinction between wantedness and consent, including common reasons people agree to sex that they don’t actually desire. My guest is Dr. Kirsten Greer, a postdoctoral research fellow at the Kinsey Institute with the disability and sexual health initiative. Her research focuses on sexual consent, sexual violence, and sexuality and disability. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: What is the difference between wanting sex and consenting to sex? Why do people sometimes turn down sex they genuinely desire? What happens when there’s a mismatch between wantedness and consent? How do people feel about that? What does healthy sexual agency look like in practice? You can learn more about Kirsten’s work and check out her publications here. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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