Episode 499: Navigating Love and Relationships After Trauma

May 8, 2026

Dr. Heather MacIntosh, psychoanalyst and director of McGill’s Couple and Family Therapy Clinic, explores healing relationships after trauma. She discusses how partnerships can become spaces for repair. Topics include when to choose individual versus couple work, safe ways to share trauma, rebuilding sexual safety with small steps, and expecting setbacks as part of progress.

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INSIGHT

Relationships Can Be Healing Spaces

Relationships can be a powerful site of healing for trauma when the partner is engaged as an attachment figure rather than excluding them.
Heather MacIntosh cites research showing couples who discussed early-life experiences more in therapy had better outcomes than isolated individual therapy alone.

ADVICE

Get On The Same Page About Current Impacts

Build shared language about how trauma shows up now before diving into details with your partner.
Heather MacIntosh recommends mapping impacts on emotion regulation, perspective taking, sexuality, and attachment in low-stakes conversations.

ADVICE

Pace Trauma Disclosures Carefully

Go slow when disclosing traumatic material and watch the therapeutic window to avoid dissociation or overwhelm.
MacIntosh advises using a trauma‑informed therapist or guided workbook to pace disclosures and keep both partners present.

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In the last episode, we explored how trauma shapes our relationships, intimacy, and emotional patterns. But the bigger question is: what do we do with that insight, and how do we start building healthier ways of connecting? Today, we’re talking about healing, supportive partnership, and what moving forward can actually look like after trauma.

I am joined once again by Dr. Heather MacIntosh, a psychoanalyst and clinical psychologist, Associate Professor, and Director of the Couple and Family Therapy Clinic at McGill University. She is author of the books Healing Broken Bonds: A Couples Workbook for Complex Trauma and Developmental Couple Therapy for Complex Trauma: a Manual for Therapists. She also hosts the podcast Healing Broken Bonds.

Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include:

How can relationships become a space for healing after trauma?
What are the first steps to addressing trauma in a healthy way?
How do you talk about trauma with a partner?
What does it mean to truly support a partner with a trauma history?
How can couples rebuild safety, intimacy, and pleasure after trauma?

You can visit Heather’s website to learn more about her work.

Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.