The Dr. Brighten Show

ADHD Sex Drive Explained: How Executive Dysfunction, Sensory Overload, and Hormones Affect Desire | Dr. Leann Borneman

Jan 20, 2026
Guest
Leann Borneman
Dr. Leann Borneman, therapist and researcher who helps neurodivergent adults navigate intimacy, breaks down why desire is often inaccessible rather than absent. She explains how executive dysfunction, sensory overload, hormones, and medication shape sexual access. Learn why scheduling can backfire, how novelty plus safety helps, and why tools like lube, structure, and tailored strategies can unlock connection.
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ADVICE

Lower The Task Barriers

  • Break sexual activities into smaller, lower-demand options to reduce task-initiation paralysis.
  • Offer alternatives like non-fluid touch or brief intimacy to preserve bandwidth.
ADVICE

Use A Bedroom Menu

  • Have explicit pre-sex conversations and use visual aids like a bedroom whiteboard menu.
  • Map interests and options ahead of time to reduce in-the-moment overwhelm and increase safety.
INSIGHT

Therapy Often Assumes Neurotypical Skills

  • Many clinical interventions assume intact executive function and thus fail ADHD clients.
  • Leann warns that standard therapy tools can create shame when they rely on skills ADHD brains struggle with.
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