Self-Led in Bed: An IFS and Sexuality Podcast 16: Talking about Sex with IFS Founder Dr. Richard Schwartz
Sep 18, 2025
Dr. Richard Schwartz, the creator of Internal Family Systems (IFS), discusses harnessing IFS for sexual healing and intimacy. He reveals how understanding our inner parts can clarify sexual confusion and foster healthier relationships. The conversation dives into the use of protective parts in negotiating desires and boundaries, especially in the context of trauma. Richard also shares insights on how societal, religious, and cultural burdens shape sexual identities, making a case for the importance of Self Energy in achieving authentic consent and connection.
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IFS Frames Sexual Confusion
- Internal Family Systems (IFS) gives people a safe framework to explore confusing sexual feelings and behaviors.
- Patricia Rich and Richard Schwartz say this model helps ask why parts interfere or create sexual proclivities.
Kink Work Resolved By Negotiation
- Richard Schwartz describes a session with Eamon Armstrong exploring kink where an exile initially opposed the practice.
- They negotiated conditions and the exile later accepted the practice under boundaries.
Prioritize Internal Consent First
- Check in with Self and your parts before negotiating sexual choices with others to build internal consent.
- Patricia Rich recommends cultivating Self-energy so choices feel deliberate and less reactive.
