Kink, exiles, and negotiated conditions

“There's often lots of confusion that people have about why they feel the way they do sexually, and a lot of delicate kinds of negotiating with your partner. And so I think the model really does help free people up to... ask these inner questions to find out why parts are interfering or why their proclivities are what they are." Dr. Richard Schwartz

Disclaimer: This episode contains topics related to sexual activity, anatomy, and abuse and listener discretion is advised.

In this episode of the Self-led in Bed podcast, Patricia welcomes Dr. Richard Schwartz, the founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS), to discuss how IFS can be a transformative tool for navigating the complexities of sexuality, healing sexual trauma, and fostering Self-led intimacy. The conversation explores how IFS helps individuals understand and work with their sexual parts, addressing both personal and relational dilemmas, from everyday sexual challenges to profound wounds caused by abuse.

Patricia and Dick delve into the ways IFS supports people in exploring their sexual identities, desires, and boundaries, particularly in the context of societal stigma, religious burdens, and cultural pressures. They discuss how protective parts may use sexuality to manage or suppress exiled parts carrying shame or trauma, and how Self Energy can create a safe space for internal consent and authentic connection. Dick shares insights from his work with survivors of sexual abuse, individuals with complex sexual identities, and those navigating kink or taboo attractions, emphasizing the importance of depolarizing internal conflicts and healing exiles stuck in past wounds. The episode also touches on the role of sexuality as a source of joy, creativity, and relational intimacy.

About Dr. Richard Schwartz: He is the creator of Internal Family Systems (IFS), a transformative, evidence-based model of psychotherapy. Based outside Chicago, Illinois, he has dedicated his career to helping individuals heal from trauma and navigate complex internal systems. Dr. Schwartz has authored numerous books, including No Bad Parts, and has trained thousands of therapists worldwide in the IFS model. His work emphasizes the inherent value of all parts and the healing power of Self Energy.

Connect with Dr. Schwartz: 

Website: https://ifs-institute.com

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