Religion on the Mind Sh*tty Minister’s Club with Lillian Daniel (#394)
Apr 13, 2026
Lillian Daniel, United Church of Christ minister, author, and speaker, shares her new book Defrocked and a candid personal story of misconduct proceedings. She discusses boundaries, vocational identity, shame versus guilt, denominational accountability, isolation during review processes, and finding peer support and recovery. The conversation is frank, often funny, and deeply human.
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Denominational Pendulums Create New Harms
- Mainline denominations also mishandle abuse because processes are run by fallible humans and pendulums swing between negligence and hypervigilance.
- After Catholic scandals, many denominations overcorrected, pulling people out quickly even when evidence was ambiguous.
Inappropriate Staff Relationship Led To Review
- The specific misconduct was an inappropriate relationship with a staff member that occurred about 18 months before the letter.
- Lillian immediately recognized it was wrong and expected a brief review, but the process instead led to long isolation and removal.
Secrecy Amplifies Damage During Fitness Reviews
- Isolation and secretive processes amplify harm by preventing accused clergy from explaining context or accessing ordinary social supports.
- Lillian describes being told not to speak to clergy, staff, or congregants, which increased loneliness and paranoia.
