Religion on the Mind

I'm joined by my co-host Kristen Tideman for the third installment of the Anxious Times series. We dig into Emmy van Dersen's concept of "the necessary" — the hard limits baked into existence that we can't change, only accept — and explore how resisting these limits is one of the biggest drivers of unhealthy anxiety, whether you're navigating religious deconstruction, a new diagnosis, or just being alive in a chaotic world. In the Patron-only second half, Kristen shares the raw, emotional story of her MS diagnosis as a lived case study in running headfirst into hard limits, and we explore what it looks like to resist or deny the necessary — from anti-aging culture to political utopianism to religious change. Highlights: Defining "the necessary" (hard limits) Mortality, uncertainty, embodiment as givens Kristen's MS diagnosis and processing Religious change and false certainty Acceptance ≠ approval or minimizing Anxious Times Episode Part 1⁠ ⁠Anxious Times Episode Part 2 ___________________________________________ Follow Dan on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/dancoke/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YHP Patron-only FB group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join Dan's email list: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.dankochwords.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Artwork by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Nickryanluevano.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I sit down with theologian and ethicist Dr. Jared Stacey to unpack his new book Reality in Ruins: How Conspiracy Theory Became an Evangelical Crisis, exploring what actually distinguishes a conspiracy theory from a real conspiracy — and why the answer matters more than ever in the wake of the Epstein file releases. Jared on IG | @Jaredmstacy Highlights:  Psychology of conspiratorial thinking Modernity, agency panic, capitalism Boundary situations and anxiety Shared reality and relationship limits Hope for repentance and change Other Conspiracy Theories Episodes: #207 | Christianity & Conspiracy Theories⁠ ⁠#100 | A History of Conspiracy Theories & Evangelicals⁠ #74 | Conspiracy Theories, Evangelicals, Media & More ___________________________________________ Follow Dan on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/dancoke/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YHP Patron-only FB group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join Dan's email list: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.dankochwords.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Artwork by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Nickryanluevano.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We're not just individually stressed — we're living through a historic collision of crises that existential psychology has a name for. In this second episode of our Anxious Times series, Kristen Tideman and I explore why the anxiety so many of us feel right now isn't a personal failing, but an honest response to the world we've actually inherited. We explore things like: What a "boundary situation" really is Three overlapping crises reshaping modern life Why shared reality is fracturing (and hurting) The surprising upside of hitting your limits Therapy tools for navigating the uncontrollable Anxious Times Episode Part 1 ___________________________________________ Follow Dan on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/dancoke/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YHP Patron-only FB group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join Dan's email list: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.dankochwords.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Artwork by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Nickryanluevano.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, I sit down with Harper’s Magazine Editor Christopher Beha to explore why neither scientific materialism nor romantic idealism fully satisfies — and what a third path might look like. We ask questions like: Does materialism account for consciousness? Is hard determinism therapeutically dangerous? Can we rationally care about others? What breaks down in "radical authenticity"? In the Patron-only second half, we land on skeptical belief itself — and why love might be the best epistemology we have. ___________________________________________ Follow Dan on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/dancoke/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YHP Patron-only FB group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join Dan's email list: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.dankochwords.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Artwork by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Nickryanluevano.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kristen Tideman, a longtime friend juggling new parenthood, an MS diagnosis, and religious change, cohosts this mini-series kickoff. They explore how to tell healthy anxiety from pathological anxiety. Short discussions cover bodily arousal and quick regulation tools, mood-congruent thinking limits, and using anxiety as a signal for life change.

…In this sociopolitical economy, that is. I’m joined in today’s Generation Gap Culture Hour by regulars Josh Gilbert, Tony Jones, and we hear all about the newest generation to our experiment — Josh’s brand new baby!  A rewatch of Last of the Mohicans has me seriously considering learning a new hobby, and Tony's 6% confidence in me is, frankly, offensive. We close out the first half of the episode sizing up the US-Israel strike on Iran and why the story is far more complicated than your Instagram feed is letting on. In the Patron only second-half, Tony shares a close-to-home run-in with conspiracy rabbit holes that pulls us into the psychology of misinformation and eroding shared reality, before we land on who should and shouldn't be writing books about polyamory or psychedelics.___________________________________________ Follow Dan on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/dancoke/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YHP Patron-only FB group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join Dan's email list: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.dankochwords.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Artwork by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Nickryanluevano.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, I sit down with Tim Burnette — founder of The Way Collective in Santa Barbara — to explore what it looks like to build a psychologically astute, contemplative Christianity for our fractured moment. We dig into the inner critic, anxiety, and how therapeutic practices like IFS, CBT, and acceptance and commitment therapy share a surprisingly deep resonance with contemplative traditions around the true self and nonviolence. Tim shares his own journey through panic attacks and cancer scares, and we trace how learning to attend to anxious thoughts — rather than fight or flee from them — might just be both good therapy and good spirituality.  If you've ever wondered whether your therapist and your mystic are secretly after the same thing, this one's for you. ___________________________________________ Follow Dan on IG: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/dancoke/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Or Twitter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠twitter.com/DanKoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Faith deconstruction resources: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.soyouredeconstructing.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join the Patreon for exclusive episodes (and more) every month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠patreon.com/dankoch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Email about the "sliding scale" for the Patreon: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youhavepermissionpodcast@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YHP Patron-only FB group: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠tinyurl.com/ycvbbf98⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.dankochwords.com/yhp.html⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Join Dan's email list: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.dankochwords.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Artwork by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Nickryanluevano.com⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ryan P. Burge, political scientist and author tracking religion in America, offers sharp observations on declining moderate churches and partisan shifts in white Christianity. He outlines the Nuns Project typology of the nonreligious and contrasts well-being across belief types. The conversation also covers rising youth gender identification, its trends, and implications for policy and social change.

Kristen Teidman, a literary and theological commentator, joins the finale to unpack chapters 10–14. They tackle Lewis's portrayal of a controlling wife and its modern parallels. They discuss the lizard-to-stallion transformation, maternal love, and the soul-building case for suffering. After a break they probe Lewis's view of hell, free will, and post-mortem choice.

Heather Patton Griffin, writer who examines evangelical culture and pastoral care, returns to discuss AI and biblical counseling. They explore “Bible facts,” sincerity culture, and how an AI counseling app frames anxiety. Short, critical takes on scripture-only solutions, mind-feeling splits, and risks of automated spiritual care.