Negotiate Anything The Truth About Lies: A Masterclass on Deception in Negotiation
Nov 5, 2025
Dan Oblinger, a former police crisis negotiator, and Jack Schafer, a former FBI behavioral analyst, delve into the complexity of deception in negotiations. They discuss why people lie, exploring the psychology behind half-truths and the signals that reveal hidden agendas. Oblinger emphasizes tactical listening and preparation techniques, while Schafer shares methods to spot lies through emotional cues and cognitive overload. Both experts stress the importance of building trust and understanding human behavior to navigate tricky conversations without losing control.
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Ask 'How' Not Just 'Yes'
- Ask for concrete descriptions of how they'll fulfill promises to reveal shaky commitments.
- Request steps and plans instead of accepting simple yes/no assurances.
Confront With 'I'm Confused'
- When deception appears, confront it firmly but non-accusingly by saying you're confused and stating the observed discrepancy.
- Pause and let them explain; confusion prompts clarification or retraction without escalating conflict.
Use Silence To Stop Repeated Deception
- If deception persists, use the silent 'effective pause': stay attentive but stop responding to the deceptive line.
- Silence signals professional boundaries and often redirects the conversation to truthful topics.
