YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship ADHD in Marriage: Nervous System Regulation & Conflict – Part 1
Feb 4, 2026
Jana Smith, an ADHD resilience coach who teaches nervous-system regulation and emotional self-regulation tools. They explore nervous-system dysregulation, the thinker-versus-feeler dynamic, and the pursuer–retreater cycle. Practical tactics include pausing for your best self, active listening, nighttime escalation triggers, and recording hard conversations to spot misunderstandings and reset the narrative.
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Nervous System Drives Reactivity
- Nervous system dysregulation makes people more reactive and can harm relationships and health.
- Recognizing and regulating those states prevents chronic symptoms and relational reactivity.
Thinker vs Feeler Cycle
- A thinker/feeler pairing often produces a pursuer–retreater cycle in couples.
- That cycle amplifies misattunement unless partners learn specific regulation and communication tools.
Illness Forced A Turning Point
- Jana described hitting a health low from chronic dysregulation that forced change and healing.
- She learned nervous system regulation first to survive, then later turned attention back to the relationship.