Set Boundaries Without Guilt, Drama or Losing the People You Love | Spotlight Convo

Feb 26, 2026

Guest

Terri Cole

Guest

Nedra Glover Tawwab

Terri Cole, psychotherapist and Boundary Boss author, helps people stop people-pleasing. Nedra Glover-Tawwab, licensed therapist and bestselling author, teaches practical limits that protect peace. They discuss what boundaries are, different types (time, physical, emotional, material), why family blueprints and secondary gains keep you stuck, and short scripts and one-sentence formulas to communicate limits clearly.

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INSIGHT

Boundaries Are Your Needs And Expectations

Boundaries are your needs and expectations that keep you safe and sane in relationships.
Nedra Glover Tawwab lists physical, emotional, sexual, intellectual, material, and time boundaries as distinct domains to communicate clearly.

ADVICE

Start Small When Setting Time Boundaries At Work

Start with small, strategic time boundaries in high-demand workplaces instead of attempting an immediate culture overhaul.
Nedra suggests modeling small behaviors (leave at five, don't respond on vacation) to shift norms gradually.

ADVICE

Say Boundaries In One Clear Sentence

State boundaries succinctly in one to two sentences and avoid long explanations that invite debate.
Nedra warns explaining too much lets others argue, persuade you, or talk you out of your boundary.

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Tired of saying yes when you mean no and feeling resentful later? In this powerful compilation episode, you’ll learn how to set healthy boundaries without guilt, conflict, or losing the people you care about.

If you’re exhausted from overgiving, overworking, people-pleasing, or overfunctioning, this conversation will feel deeply familiar. We explore why so many high-functioning adults struggle to communicate limits and how small, clear boundary shifts can radically change your relationships, work life, and inner peace.

Today’s episode features insights from therapist and bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab, author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace, and psychotherapist and relationship expert Terri Cole, author of Boundary Boss. Together, they unpack the psychology of boundaries, codependency, people-pleasing, and how to finally talk true and live free.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

A one-sentence boundary formula that prevents arguments and shuts down guilt spirals
The hidden secondary gain that keeps you stuck in overgiving and overfunctioning
The six dysfunctional boundary styles and how to identify your “boundary blueprint”
A simple way to set time boundaries at work without risking your job
Practical scripts you can use when someone asks intrusive questions or ignores your limits

If you’re ready to stop feeling unseen, stretched thin, or quietly resentful, press play and learn how to create the boundaries that make a good life possible.

Episode Transcript

You can find Nedra at: Website | Instagram

You can find Terri at: Website | Instagram | Discover Your Secondary Gain | The Terri Cole Show

Next week, be sure to tune in for my conversation with Gretchen Rubin about what actually happens when kids leave home and how that season reshapes identity, relationships, and purpose.

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