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Buddhist Monks On: Letting Go of Shame, The Opposite of Depression, and Dealing With Criticism | Ajahn Kovilo and Ajahn Nisabho

60 snips
Mar 18, 2026
Ajahn Nisabho, a Theravada monk focused on purpose and mental well-being, and Ajahn Kovilo, a Theravada monk who teaches meditation and ethics, explore confession without self-punishment. They get into giving and receiving criticism, surviving the news without losing your mind, and why misery is not the best response to a messy world.
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ADVICE

Use A Simple Confession Script With A Friend

  • Use a simple script when confessing so the exchange stays supportive instead of turning into minimizing, fixing, or argument.
  • Say what happened, hear “Do you see?”, answer “I see,” then “Will you be restrained in the future?” and end with “Sadhu” or even a high five.
INSIGHT

Ethics Work Because They Make Meditation Possible

  • Buddhist ethics are pragmatic training, not commandments: clean conduct steadies the mind and produces the “bliss of blamelessness.”
  • Ajahn Nisabho says lying or anger shows up instantly in meditation, and Ajahn Kovilo links virtue to a “well-being cascade” ending in concentration.
ADVICE

Check BAGEL Before You Give Feedback

  • Before giving feedback, check BAGEL: beneficial, accurate, gentle, expedient, and loving.
  • Ajahn Kovilo says wrong timing, hypocrisy, or even a “sliver of contempt” makes people resent you, while waiting 15 minutes can change the whole conversation.
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