We Gotta Thing - A Swinger Podcast Episode 150: Is the Lifestyle Addictive?
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Mar 5, 2026 Catherine of Expansive Connection, a therapist and coach focused on relationships and ethical non-monogamy, unpacks brain chemistry behind NRE, novelty, desensitization, and the pleasure paradox. Short, clear takes explore why novelty hijacks reward systems, how escalation and FOMO show up, and practical ways to pace, reclaim balance, and seek support.
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NRE Feels Biologically Like A Drug
- New Relationship Energy (NRE) floods the brain with dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine and oxytocin producing intense motivation, attraction and bonding.
- Catherine warns this cocktail activates the same neural pathways as cocaine and can last six months to five years depending on variables.
Novelty Seeking Is An Ancient Survival Circuit
- Humans evolved to seek novelty because new environments signaled food or danger, so our brains still light up for new stimuli today.
- Catherine connects that ancient novelty circuitry to modern triggers like clubs, resorts or new people in the lifestyle.
Dopamine Rewards The Chase Not Just The Win
- Dopamine rewards pursuit not just success, with the VTA triggering release and the hippocampus filing novelty as memory that later drives cravings.
- That memory-driven craving explains relapse and why we chase repeat highs from events or partners.