
Modern Wisdom #1069 - Dr Max Butterfield - How Love Turns You Insane
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Mar 9, 2026 Dr Max Butterfield, physician and performance coach who translates relationship science for real life. He unpacks why love makes us act irrationally. Topics include public grand gestures, repair versus regulation after betrayal, how to stop rumination, simple signals of interest, rejection sensitivity, and building habits that change thinking.
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Rejection Sensitivity Creates Self Fulfilling Isolation
- High rejection sensitivity causes people to perceive rejection in ambiguous signals and then act to confirm it.
- Max links this lens to neurodivergence and personality patterns that create turbulent social cycles.
Signal Interest Clearly With Simple Compliments
- Signal attraction directly and simply rather than overthinking ambiguous flirting.
- Max advises plain lines like 'you're cute' or comments on clothing rather than risky body commentary or complex text games.
Women Dress To Signal Status To Other Women
- Women often dress to impress other women as much as men, reflecting intrasexual competition and social hierarchy.
- Max finds evidence that appearance signals function within same-sex social status and mate-guarding dynamics.

