How Love Turns You Insane - Dr Max Butterfield - #1069
Modern Wisdom
Approach–avoidance and slow reconnection
Max describes approach-avoidance dynamics and why gradual, safe re-approach beats grand gestures after breakups.
Dr. Max Butterfield is an experimental psychologist and professor who studies relationships and decision-making.
Why does love make us do crazy things? Rom-coms make relationships look easy, but real love is far more complicated. So what actually makes a relationship work—and why does love make us act irrationally?
Expect to learn what science says about what people should do to recover from a breakup, if the Norwegian skier who confessed to cheating on his girlfriend was doing more harm than good to his relationship, what Dr Max wished more men and women knew about how to signal interest, why we ruminate so much and how to ruminate less, what healthy communication actually looks like and much more…
Timestamps:
(0:00) Did This Declaration of Love Backfire? (7:37) Why Grand Gestures are a Bad Idea in Dating (14:03) The Psychology of Breakups: How to Recover Faster (18:58) Is a Breakup Really Like Losing Someone? (20:31) Why Do We Ruminate So Much? (31:01) Does Rejection Actually Shape Us? (32:32) How to Signal Romantic Interest (37:52) Why Women Signal Beauty Through Clothing (44:30) Is She Actually Out of His League? (47:02) Relationship Red Flags You Shouldn’t Ignore (50:32) The Fascinating Evolutionary Approach to Relationships (56:36) Green Flags: What to Look for in a Healthy Relationship (01:03:51) The Power of a Psychological Reset (01:11:18) Does Direct Communication Improve Relationships? (01:16:27) The Hidden Role of Indirect Aggression (01:21:36) Why Intrasexual Competition is So Controversial (01:27:12) The Power of Healthy Communication in Relationships (01:38:33) What’s Next For Ben
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