The Biology of Trauma® With Dr. Aimie Why Fixing Someone You Love Is Destroying Your Nervous System
Feb 24, 2026
Karen Moser, relational trauma repair therapist who brings somatic RTR work into addiction and family settings. She discusses how loved ones often bear deeper nervous-system harm than the person using, why sobriety alone does not heal family patterns, and practical body-based tools like floor checks and a resilience timeline to reclaim parts of yourself.
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Helping Others Can Create Your Own Trauma
- Helping or controlling someone else's healing creates chronic nervous system activation in the helper.
- Dr. Aimie frames this as a biological cost: anxiety, sleeplessness, and breath-holding every time the phone rings.
Families Carry What Users Numb Out
- Families often stay activated because they 'remember what the substance user forgets' while the user numbs out.
- Karen Moser explains this creates greater dysregulation in family members who stayed present during active use.
Bring Families Into Recovery Work
- Include family work after user stability so both can learn co-regulation and repair relationship losses.
- Karen recommends combining individual recovery with family/group work to address different parts of the shared story.
