What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Does the combination of your kids' squabbling, the repeated clinking of your spouse's cereal spoon, and the Mister Softee jingle send you into a rage-panic? You are not alone.Farrah had this to say on Facebook:Someone talk to me about PARENTAL sensory overload. We have 6 kiddos ages 5-12. I have found that the older I get (or maybe the older they get?) the noise level is less and less tolerable to me. I want to enjoy being around my kids they way I used to, but I find myself simply overwhelmed with the noise. Has anyone else dealt with this or something similar? Any suggestions on dealing with this sensory overload so I can get back to enjoying the company of my kids/ family?Some people really are more sensitive to noise. Dr. Elaine Aron describes "highly sensitive people" and their reactions to auditory input this way:"Highly sensitive persons process information more thoroughly, are more easily stimulated, are more aware of subtle stimuli, are more empathic, and have higher emotional reactivity."In other words, we don't habituate to noise exposure like other people do. Our highly attuned senses are more affected by our environments. And when our nervous systems are already amped up for other reasons— can you think of anything you might have been feeling anxious about over the last year?!– the auditory information on the way to the brain becomes augmented, and it can feel like too much to bear.Amy's a fellow noise-intolerant, and in this episode she goes through the three-step process of control the noise if you can't do that, control your location if you can't do that... time for an intentional reset. Listen for the full rundown, and read more here:https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200804/i-cant-stand-noisehttps://highlysensitiverefuge.com/ordinary-sounds-overwhelm-highly-sensitive-person/Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor:Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Summit, New Jersey. She specializes in helping women use cognitive- behavioral therapy and related evidence-based strategies to navigate the myriad challenges of motherhood. Her writing has been featured in places like Psychology Today and Scary Mommy, as well as on her own blog, www.drcbtmom.com. She lives in New Jersey with her husband and two sons.Her new book is Mom Brain: Proven Strategies to Fight the Anxiety, Guilt, and Overwhelming Emotions of Motherhood. Ilyse's definition of Mom Brain is "the profound cognitive and emotional changes that occur when you have a child and the many aspects of your life (identity, relationships, work life, self-care) that are strongly impacted by these changes."In this episode we discuss the seismic shifts in our priorities that occur when we become mothers, the anxiety that can often result, and the evidence-based strategies that work best to keep us present-moment-focused.Mom Brain is composed of easily digestible sections, so even if you only have 10 minutes to read, you’ll be able to pick up at least one or two solid coping skills. Find it in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781462540266 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week we're reviewing listener grudges, large and small, and deciding once and for all if those listeners should let it go, or no.Letting it go doesn't mean you're wrong to be annoyed. Sometimes you are totally right and you STILL have to let it go.And sometimes nursing a tiny bonsai grievance for a decade is sort of fun... but that works better when you aren't related to that person.Sometimes shifting our perspective is the best choice we have.As Margaret's Aunt Terry likes to say: you can't get pizza from a Chinese restaurant.Special thanks to this month's sponsors:  Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off.Public Goods is the one-stop shop for high-quality everyday household essentials made from clean ingredients. Get $15 off your first Public Goods order, with no minimum purchase! Go to publicgoods.com/fresh, or use the code FRESH at checkout. Green Chef is a USDA-certified-organic company with meal plans including Paleo, Plant Powered, Keto, and Balanced Living. Go to greenchef.com/90laughing and use code 90LAUGHING to get $90 off, including free shipping!Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH. Zocdoc has you covered! Whether you need a primary care physician, dentist, dermatologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, or any other specialist, you can find top doctors at zocdoc.com.laughing.Workplace Comedy Podcast is a hilarious new improv podcast set in a fictional water bottling company, hosted by Emmy Laybourne and Tracy Vilar and a lineup of amazing comedy guests. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it!  Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Find yourself stuck in the kitchen 24/7 when family comes to visit? You’re allowed to feel overwhelmed and even a little resentful, even if you’re really happy they came.Jenna emailed us to ask:Since both of you have big families, how does everyone get fed when you get together for a few days? Do you get takeout for every meal? Do people take turns cooking? I am the only person in my husband's family who can cook, so I end up doing all the cooking when we get together, and I end up exhausted and don't get to spend time with everyone. Resetting expectations around who's doing the cooking and cleanup can be a little tricky. If you're a do-it-all hostess who really does make it look easy, you haven't been sending clear signals that it's hard.Amy gives tips in this episode about the systems that work when her extended family group gets together. But if you've been heading up meal prep because you're the "only one who can cook," a resetting of your own expectations may be required as well. If you're chopping fresh herbs for Monday night's dinner, and then your brother orders pizza for Tuesday night? And everyone gets fed? Take the win. If there are a few too many hot-dog lunches and everything you have been doing is more appreciated in retrospect, so much the better.You deserve to enjoy time with family as much as everyone else does, so have the difficult conversation. It can be really refreshing to lay down some of the burdens we shoulder, and see the world continue to revolve, and realize no one was really asking us to do it all in the first place. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor:Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Toddler Purgatory is launching this month! Help us support the launch of our new podcast by checking out the sneak-peek trailer and following now wherever you listen. Grab all the player links at toddlerpurgatory.com. Judith Warner’s book AND THEN THEY STOPPED TALKING TO ME: MAKING SENSE OF MIDDLE SCHOOL investigates what can be a truly painful period in any adolescent's life. Warner explains that our "personal fable" is deeply affected by our own experiences during that developmental period, even if our memories may rely on flawed or incomplete information.That matters because it can affect how we parent our tweens as they enter the middle-school stage themselves. Are parents sometimes inadvertently reinforcing the narrative that middle school is a Thunderdome of social aggression?In this interview, Judith tells Amy the history of middle school, the brain science behind its intensity, and what parents can do to make their children's path through these years an easier one.Check out all of Judith Warner's books in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/shop/whatfreshhellcastSpecial thanks to this month's sponsors:  Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off.Public Goods is the one-stop shop for high-quality everyday household essentials made from clean ingredients. Get $15 off your first Public Goods order, with no minimum purchase! Go to publicgoods.com/fresh, or use the code FRESH at checkout. Green Chef is a USDA-certified-organic company with meal plans including Paleo, Plant Powered, Keto, and Balanced Living. Go to greenchef.com/90laughing and use code 90LAUGHING to get $90 off, including free shipping!Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH. Zocdoc has you covered! Whether you need a primary care physician, dentist, dermatologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, or any other specialist, you can find top doctors at zocdoc.com.laughing.Workplace Comedy Podcast is a hilarious new improv podcast set in a fictional water bottling company, hosted by Emmy Laybourne and Tracy Vilar and a lineup of amazing comedy guests. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it!  Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Toddler Purgatory is launching this month! Help us support the launch of our new podcast by checking out the sneak-peek trailer and following now wherever you listen. Grab all the player links at toddlerpurgatory.com. Sooner or later, most parents discover that their kid doesn't fit society's mold in one way or another. But there's "quirky" kids with unusual haircuts, and then there's the kids who really do their own thing, with or without peer approval. In this episode, we're talking about the latter.Those parents will recognize what Dr. Perri Klass calls "the pivotal moment": "not just one moment of extreme behavior in your kid, but the last in a series of impossible-to-explain-away behavior that resonates with the parent's long-considered and long-avoided fears. It crystallizes in a parent's mind all the floating anxieties and worries of many months."It’s especially challenging for us when our kids are outside the norm because we can't help but think what will become of this kid? But at those times, we're forgetting two things: not only do our children have the ability to grow and develop, we're going to become better parents along the way, as well.When it comes to our non-mold-fitting kids, there's reason to hope that the world will someday be wide enough. Albert Einstein didn’t fit the mold either, and things worked out pretty well for him. Which isn't to say he didn't cause his mom some sleepless nights along the way.Here are some links to writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Drs. Perri Klass and Eileen Costello: Quirky Kids: Understanding and Helping Your Child Who Doesn’t Fit Ingreatschools.org: How to support your unique, quirky childchildmind.org: Sensory Processing FAQsslate.com: What About Kids Who Don't Fit The Mold?Dana Basu: How to Cope When Your Child is DifferentAndrew Solomon: Far From The Tree: Parents, Children, And The Search For IdentitySpecial thanks to this month's sponsors:  Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off.Public Goods is the one-stop shop for high-quality everyday household essentials made from clean ingredients. Get $15 off your first Public Goods order, with no minimum purchase! Go to publicgoods.com/fresh, or use the code FRESH at checkout. Green Chef is a USDA-certified-organic company with meal plans including Paleo, Plant Powered, Keto, and Balanced Living. Go to greenchef.com/90laughing and use code 90LAUGHING to get $90 off, including free shipping!Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH. Zocdoc has you covered! Whether you need a primary care physician, dentist, dermatologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, or any other specialist, you can find top doctors at zocdoc.com.laughing.Workplace Comedy Podcast is a hilarious new improv podcast set in a fictional water bottling company, hosted by Emmy Laybourne and Tracy Vilar and a lineup of amazing comedy guests. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it!  Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Kids often struggle to keep their hands to themselves– and this can be especially true for boys, who love to punch, tackle, and poke at anyone who gets near them.This week Emily asks:As a mom of boys, I am finding that my five-year-old son is very handsy with his friends and boy cousins. It's like my younger son and other boys are magnets that cannot keep their hands off each other. It's not aggressive, it's just constant touching, tickling, purposely running into each other, etc. I am not sure how to curb it,or if it's even possible. And even if I get my son to break the habit, how would I keep other kids from putting their hands all over him? It's not that I am any more of a germaphobe than anyone else, I just feel like it's a recipe for disaster... and when he goes to school in the fall ,I don't want him to be off task and missing directions. Is there anything I can do, or is this just a boy thing?Watch any nature show with a group of young lions and you'll see the cubs wrestling, biting, and tussling with each other (often to the non-delight of their mama). The same holds true for our own kids. Roughhousing and other forms of physical contact serve many purposes, helping youngsters find and test boundaries, express anxieties, manage aggression.So Margaret is extremely pro-touching among kids as long as a few simple guidelines are followed: All physical contact and especially roughhousing should be among "equals" - no big kids whaling on little kids, and no little kids pawing at uninterested bigs. Keep an eye on consent - make sure that everyone involved in the physicality is comfortable with it. Spaces and places- wrestling, roughhousing, and physical play is appropriate in the yard but not in the living room. Kids tend to get less physical as they get older and keeping "touch-free" spaces (this will probably happen naturally at school) is a great way to help kids start to gain control over their physicality.By the way: when it comes to germs, once Covid is taken out of the equation, there's not too much to worry about. While Covid is still a threat physical distancing should be maintained– but post-Covid, check out this article for a reality check on germs.In this episode Margaret also cites this article by Anne-Marie Gambelin for Motherly: Relax, Mama- roughhousing is good for your kids–reallySpecial thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor:Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Michaeleen Doucleff is the author of the New York Times best-seller Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans. In this interview, she tells us about the circumstances that inspired her own "aha" parenting moment, and then the book.While on assignment in the Yucatan as a reporter for NPR's Science Desk, Michaeleen saw children helping around the house, unprompted and unapplauded. She wondered how her own life back in the United States, with a tantruming preschooler and chaotic household, could be so different. It inspired Michaeleen's exploration of how the tenets of WEIRD parenting (Western, Educated, Industrialized, Rich, and Democratic) differ from those of more ancient civilizations, and how we might all restore a little sanity by unlearning some of our Western ways.Follow Michaeleen on Twitter @foodiescience and on her website: michaeleendoucleff.com. Special thanks to this month's sponsors:  Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH. Zocdoc has you covered! Whether you need a primary care physician, dentist, dermatologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, or any other specialist, you can find top doctors at zocdoc.com.laughing.Audible has everything you love to listen to, INCLUDING this podcast, all in one app! Try Audible free for 30 days by going to audible.com/fresh, or by texting FRESH to 500-500.Pharmaca is a source you can trust for herbal and homeopathic formulas, high-quality vitamins, and organic cruelty-free beauty. Go to Pharmaca.com/laughing right now to save 20% off your first order!Workplace Comedy Podcast is a hilarious new improv podcast set in a fictional water bottling company, hosted by Emmy Laybourne and Tracy Vilar and a lineup of amazing comedy guests. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!Betterhelp allows you to connect with a counselor over text, phone, or video — and everything you say is confidential. Start living a happier life today! Get 10% off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com/fresh.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on any crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD.StoryWorth  gives your loved ones the gift of spending time together, wherever you live! Go to storyworth.com/whatfreshhell to get $10 off.  Bright Cellars is the wine subscription box that pairs you with wine you'll love, delivered to your door. Get 50% off your first 6 bottle order by heading to brightcellars.com/fresh.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. It works! Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH to get 10% off.Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it!  Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Barre3’s workouts combine cardio, strength conditioning, and mindfulness in one workout. Go to barre3.com/FRESH and enter promo code FRESH to unlock 75% off monthly and annual subscriptions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

We thought we were ready. We were in fact quite excited for all of this to be over, white-knuckling it until we could run outside and hug everyone we saw. But as freedom comes nearer, we’re less sure we want things to go back to how they used to be.Why is that? This reticence feels like it might go beyond issues of measuring risk. If a Fauci godmother showed up right now to wave her wand and magically declare the world to be fully safe, some of us would probably still stay cozy under our blankets. As it turns out, we've grown accustomed to our Zooms.So what are the things making us feel less than ready for a return to the world? And are some of the things we're dreading a return to things we don't *have* to resume at all?Here are links to some other writing on the topic that we mention in this episode:Adam Grant for The New York Times : There’s a Name for the Blah You’re Feeling: It’s Called LanguishingChristine Koh for Washington Post: The pandemic has caused parents to slow down. Here’s how to preserve that pace.Steven Petrow for Washington Post: I’m vaccinated, but I’m really not ready to leave my pandemic cocoonSpecial thanks to this month's sponsors:  Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing.Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH. Zocdoc has you covered! Whether you need a primary care physician, dentist, dermatologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, or any other specialist, you can find top doctors at zocdoc.com.laughing.Audible has everything you love to listen to, INCLUDING this podcast, all in one app! Try Audible free for 30 days by going to audible.com/fresh, or by texting FRESH to 500-500.Pharmaca is a source you can trust for herbal and homeopathic formulas, high-quality vitamins, and organic cruelty-free beauty. Go to Pharmaca.com/laughing right now to save 20% off your first order!Workplace Comedy Podcast is a hilarious new improv podcast set in a fictional water bottling company, hosted by Emmy Laybourne and Tracy Vilar and a lineup of amazing comedy guests. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!Betterhelp allows you to connect with a counselor over text, phone, or video — and everything you say is confidential. Start living a happier life today! Get 10% off your first month by visiting betterhelp.com/fresh.KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on any crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD.StoryWorth  gives your loved ones the gift of spending time together, wherever you live! Go to storyworth.com/whatfreshhell to get $10 off.  Bright Cellars is the wine subscription box that pairs you with wine you'll love, delivered to your door. Get 50% off your first 6 bottle order by heading to brightcellars.com/fresh.Membrasin is the totally natural, estrogen-free, clinically proven feminine dryness formula. It works! Go to membrasinlife.com and use the code FRESH to get 10% off.Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it!  Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing. Barre3’s workouts combine cardio, strength conditioning, and mindfulness in one workout. Go to barre3.com/FRESH and enter promo code FRESH to unlock 75% off monthly and annual subscriptions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The most important part of addressing our little ones’ challenging behavior is to get curious about what's causing it. For preschoolers struggling with the Covid-Plus restrictions of the moment, it's easy to identify the dysregulation that might accompany post-pandemic expectations. For a 4-year-old who's spent 25% of her life hanging out at home with Mom, all of these new rules are a lot to expect.Our listener Corey wrote in to ask:I'm wondering if you have some tips for helping my 4 1/2 year old in transitioning classrooms at school.She has regressed at home and school... tantrums, arguing everything, crying at dropoff, pouting in class. She has never been easygoing, and always had strong emotions..Today, her teacher called me at work to ask me to calm my daughter down over the phone... she was sitting on the floor crying and refusing to participate. She's been going to daycare since 3 months old, and this is the first time I've ever had to do that.The thing is, she was actually going through a blissful period before this. Mature, helpful, listening, not arguing every little thing. And then this transition happened, and it's like she regressed back to 3. In the "before times" I believe she would have been excited about moving to the older class. Any advice on helping her get excited about school again? And maybe reversing this regression and getting back to that 4 year old I had two months ago?In this episode Amy offers tips on how Corey might support her daughter at home and at school during this time. Getting curious about the "iceberg" underneath the surface tantrums will probably help a great deal.Here's the bottom line: it's developmentally appropriate for kids to cycle between periods of regulation and dysregulation. While this might be a tough season, with a loving and attentive parent, it will get better soon.Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor:Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices