What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms
Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson
When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard.We're Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like.In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way.We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood! whatfreshhellpodcast.com
Episodes
Mentioned books
Apr 19, 2023 • 51min
Best of: When Is This Going to Be Fun Again?
This "best of" episode explores the trap we all fall into of thinking that every day with our kids has to contain a “snow globe moment" - a social media-worthy image of perfect joy for our entire family.And even if part of us knows that’s not realistic, another part of us thinks that it’s all supposed to be fun. That there must be something wrong with us if we don’t love every single moment of our chaotic lives with little ones.But once we kick that shame to the curb, there really are ways to make our lives as parents more fun and lighthearted. Even on a regular Tuesday.In this episode, we discuss:
How we can be lighthearted, even when things aren’t fun
How we can have fun even when things aren’t easy
How we can have fun even when our kids definitely aren’t
Our basic takeaway: parenting definitely gets a little more fun as our kids get a little bit easier… and by “easier,” we mean “not throwing themselves into mortal danger every ninety seconds because they don’t know any better.”The first step to having more fun may simply be to wish that it were so. As motivational speaker Danielle LaPorte explains: “Knowing how you want to feel is the most potent form of clarity you can have."Links!Gretchen Rubin: "How to Be Happier: Ten Tips for Being a More Light-Hearted Parent."We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Apr 17, 2023 • 8min
Ask Margaret: My Kid Is Obsessed with Getting "Stuff"
How do we convince our kids that getting all of the newest toys isn't the most important thing in life while also respecting their enthusiasm for their various obsessions?A member of our Facebook group asks:"What do you do with a kid who wants ALL the toys? I've got a second grader who insists his friends' parents buy all the Pokémon cards and my husband and I are the worse because we refuse to buy every single thing he asks for. He's got a pile full of Pokémon cards but they're not the cool ones, I guess? We're not going to change our buying habits, but how do we talk about this with him?"Margaret explains that you can affirm your child's obsession with Pokémon or Fortnite to make them feel heard while also not giving in to their every whim around it. Margaret developed a shorthand with her son for the feeling of wanting things obsessively - the 'grabby greedies.' Naming it obviously didn't completely solve the problem, but having language around it helps keep the conversation going.Setting up an allowance/chore system can be helpful, e.g., "If you clean your room and feed the dog every day this week, you can have x." Because kids have so little control over most aspects of their life, giving them some agency around things that really matter to them can be helpful. After all, one day, they WILL be making these decisions for themselves, and so the more they can practice making smart decisions with their own money, the better.Special thanks to our sponsor: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Apr 14, 2023 • 36min
Fresh Take: Dr. Lynn Koegel on the Hidden Brilliance of Autism
What if we're looking at autism in the wrong way? Dr. Lynn Koegel, co-author of Hidden Brilliance: Unlocking the Intelligence of Autism, explains how to engage with the strengths in kids with autism rather than focusing on what they're lacking.Dr. Lynn Koegel is a clinical professor at the Stanford School of Medicine. She and her husband developed Pivotal Response Treatment which focuses on motivation. She has been supporting autistic individuals for more than 40 years.Dr. Koegel and Margaret discuss:
Why we're focusing on the wrong things when we assess kids with autism
The power of peer support
Connecting authentically with kids with autism
Dr. Koegel explains that professionals are often trained to look at what's "wrong" with children with autism rather than what's right. It helps to look at the differences in children with autism, as Margaret likes to say, as morally neutral.Here's where you can find Lynn:
autismPRThelp.com
@lynn.koegel on Facebook
hidden-brilliance.org
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Apr 12, 2023 • 46min
Your Tween, Explained
When our kids reach a certain age—as young as eight, some experts say, and definitely well before thirteen— they suddenly don't think their parents are as great as they once did. Congratulations, you're officially the parent of a tween!This week we're talking about what tweens are going through emotionally and psychologically... and how we can give them room to grow while still seizing opportunities to connect with them as (big) children.Margaret and Amy discuss:
The cognitive shifts that happens in tweens' brains
Why the ways we relate to our tweens has to change along with them
Why "not taking it personally" is, and isn't, the right advice
We may feel the urge to defend our actions or intentions to our tweens when they spar with us, but we don't actually have to get down "in the mud" with our kids whenever they push our buttons.Links!
Michelle Anthony for Scholastic Parents: Cognitive Development in 11-13 Year Olds
John Mersch, MD for Medicine Net: Tween: Child Development (9-11 Years Old)
Here’s our interview with Katie Hurley, author of No More Mean Girls: The Secret to Raising Strong, Confident, and Compassionate Girls.
Our "Fresh Take" interview with Dr. Becky Kennedy on being "Good Inside"
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Apr 10, 2023 • 5min
Ask Amy: How Can I Support My Friend Struggling with Infertility?
Should we avoid talking about our children when spending time with friends who are having difficulty conceiving? A member of our Facebook group asks:"I’m having lunch with a lifelong friend who I don’t see or talk to frequently. I do know that she recently started IVF. My life is currently extremely overwhelmed because I have 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 year-olds that I was fortunate enough to conceive very quickly. How do I support her and also talk about my life, without seeming like I’m complaining about what she wants so badly? I’ve never been nervous to see her in my life and I just feel like I’m going to indirectly hurt her feelings in some way."Your friend can both be sad about her difficulty conceiving children and excited to hear about yours. The best thing you can do, Amy explains, is to be open with your friend - explain that you want to respect her feelings about the situation and be there for her. She may cry, and that's ok, because it means both that she's letting out her feelings and that she feels you're a safe space to have those feelings.Once you talk about the elephant in the room, you can have a wonderful visit where you both talk about and receive support for whatever you're going through right now.Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Apr 7, 2023 • 11min
APRIL BONUS TEASER! Our Humble Showbiz Beginnings
From playing the "Newman" character on multiple sitcoms to keeping the Steve Harvey show audience off hard drugs, Amy and Margaret have had some wild times in the business we call show. In this month's bonus episode, they tell some of their juiciest tales.To listen to the full episode, you can subscribe to What Fresh Hell Plus at http://whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm/ for $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. Get monthly bonus episodes and all of our content ad-free! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Apr 7, 2023 • 36min
Best Of: Yael Schonbrun on "Work, Parent, Thrive"
Why does it feel like our career and our family are pulling us in different directions and making it hard to be fully present in both arenas? In her book Work, Parent, Thrive: 12 Science-Backed Strategies to Ditch Guilt, Manage Overwhelm, and Grow Connection (When Everything Feels Like too Much). Dr. Yael Schonbrun explains how we can move from a zero-sum mindset to a life in which our work life and our family life are enable to enrich each other.Yael Schonbrun is also the co-host of the "Psychologists Off the Clock" podcast, an assistant professor at Brown University, and a mother of three little comedians. In this "Best Of" interview Yael and Amy discuss:
Why the guilt that often accompanies parenting is hard-wired into us
What values clarification looks like
Why starting a "stop doing" list can be surprisingly helpful
Here's where you can find Yael: Twitter: @DrYaelSchonbrun#WorkParentThriveBuy Yael's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781611809657Links! Our Fresh Take with Dr. Jill Stoddard on how to manage anxietyWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Apr 5, 2023 • 43min
Please Never Say These Things Again
Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. There are certain phrases that many of us pepper our conversation without a second thought, never pausing to think that we might be working the listener's very last nerve. We have quite a few phrases we'd love to never ever hear again, and our listeners brought a lot more. In this episode we make the humble request that phrases like "at the end of the day" and "fur babies" be permanently retired from the lexicon. Is that too much to ask? We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Apr 3, 2023 • 10min
Ask Margaret: Help! My Boys Won't Stop Roughhousing
How do you keep your very active kids safe when they constantly want to roughhouse with each other? Someone in our Facebook group asks:Boy moms… help! The fighting, the yelling, the running, hitting, jumping, climbing…I have a 4.5yo and a 3 yo… Any advice or tips? We separate them to different levels when it gets out of hand. Or we say any running needs to happen outside, but it’s difficult to execute when I’m home alone (which is often). How do you all handle it?Margaret, who has two boys of her own who love roughhousing, explains the house rules around the "sport" that work for her family.There are actually a lot of benefits to letting kids roughhouse with each other once there are certain safety parameters in place. It gives kids the joy of physical touch, the opportunity to explore and set boundaries, and the benefit (for you!) of tiring them out! You may find that MORE, not less, roughhousing is just the ticket for your active kids!Here are links to the resources Margaret references:
Jessica Wozinsky Fleming for The Washington Post: "Why roughhousing is good for kids, and how to keep it safe"
Big Body Play by Frances M. Carlson
The Art of Roughhousing: Good Old-Fashioned Horseplay and Why Every Kid Needs It by Anthony T. DeBenedet and Lawrence J. Cohen
Ignore It!: How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction by Catherine Pearlman
Special thanks to our sponsor, Pampers: For trusted protection, choose Pampers, the #1 Pediatrician Recommended Brand. Download the Pampers Club App today to start earning free diapers. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Mar 31, 2023 • 34min
Fresh Take: Mara Glatzel on Being "Needy"
If someone asked you "What do you need right now?" would you even be able to articulate it? In her new book NEEDY: How To Advocate for Your Needs and Claim Your Sovereignty, intuitive coach Mara Glatzel lays out a roadmap for how to ascertain our needs as human beings, how to ask for it, and how to be comfortable with receiving it.Mara's work helps humans stop abandoning themselves and start reclaiming their humanity through embracing their needs and honoring their natural energy rhythms. In this episode, Mara and Amy discuss:
The societal pressure to be perfect and need-free as mothers
The difference between a "want" and a "need" and how they intersect
Why it's uncomfortable both to ask for what we need and to finally receive it
Mara argues that the more in tune we are with our own needs, the more we are able to peacefully coexist with others and form authentic relationships.Here's where you can find Mara:
https://www.maraglatzel.com/
on her own podcast, "Needy."
Here is the link to Mara's free quiz to help you identify what you need and receive all of her best resources and supportive micro-practices.
Buy Mara's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781683649847
@maraglatzel on IG
We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
