Redemptive Living Radio

In this week's episode, we talk about the heart behind Full Disclosure. Specifically common misconceptions, who it benefits, what it's for, etc. We didn't want to go into a ton of the logistics of the Full Disclosure process (although we might do this at some point in another episode) - instead, we really wanted to focus on the heart behind the Full Disclosure. Here are a couple of the things we discuss: - The importance of integration - for him to integrate this part of his story into his life - he does this by writing it out and sharing it with others (another man, his wife if she wants to hear it, God). - The importance of her getting to know anything and everything she needs to know (it's her decision) - and ultimately it being something that can restore dignity to her soul. - The importance of getting all the lies and all the secrets out on the table - it's not the full disclosure that ends the marriage, it's the choices he made that might end the marriage. It's typically continued lies that puts the nail in the coffin, not coming to the confessional. We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us! Here is a link to the book I read 18 years ago that was a complete game changer in many ways but was also the book that introduced us to the concept of a disclosure. "Thoughts become clear when they flow over the lips and through pencil tips" - we are still looking for who to credit this quote to! "Confession is the catalyst for change." - I heard Kelly Minter say this recently in a podcast episode of hers and it really resonated with me. MasterClasses for men in January: Empathy and Intimacy Aversion. Info on the Empowered Boundaries MasterClass for women is here, registration is currently open for the class starting on January 18th. (The class on January 13th is sold out.) Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus. We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop! Click here to subscribe to Shelley's {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason's list. Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.

The hosts tackle questions about enjoying TV as a couple and dealing with husbands staring at other women. They discuss the impact of TV on relationships in recovery, the importance of boundaries, and the benefits of limited TV exposure. They emphasize communication, raising awareness, and taking responsibility for one's actions. They also explore transitioning from seeing your partner as an enemy to adopting a humble posture and how humility and service can inspire selflessness in a relationship.

In this week's episode, we address listener questions. Specifically, we address the possibility of enjoying a beach/pool day without it being triggering (which is the only listener question we got to because it was just too good!). Early on, or even ten years into the process, this can be SO difficult. We discuss a few tips on how to approach a beach/pool day which include: seeing others (& ourselves) as humans, rather than objects; having meaningful conversations to create a plan beforehand, during the pool time as well as assessing the plan afterwards. We hope this episode provides attainable tips and tangible hope in what your recovery can look like when it includes going to the pool and beach. We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us! Handling Her Triggers MasterClass for Men can be found here. Info on the Empowered Boundaries MasterClass for women is here, registration is currently open for the class starting on January 18th. (The class on January 13th is sold out.) Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus. We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop! Click here to subscribe to Shelley's {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason's list. Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.

Jason and Shelley Martinez discuss healing from Acting In and Gaslighting. They emphasize the importance of sanctification and character growth, practicing radical honesty, and setting limits and boundaries for a redeemed marriage.

The podcast discusses Acting In and Gaslighting, exploring how they relate to intimacy aversion and self-preservation. They differentiate between the motivations behind these behaviors and highlight the emotional damage they can cause. The hosts also touch on avoidance and stonewalling in relationships. Additionally, they delve into intimacy aversion versus intimacy anorexia, and how acting in relates to shame and self-preservation.

This podcast discusses what to do when your partner is dragging their feet in recovery, exploring different archetypes of husbands in recovery and suggesting ways to address the situation. It emphasizes the importance of having a conversation with your partner, detaching for clarity and progress, and focusing on personal growth and higher purpose in relationships.

In this episode, we talk about getting out of the mindset that recovery is all about stopping a bad behavior. If the goal is to never act out again and nothing more - men are selling themselves short. Heart and character change associated with the process of not acting out is what is most important. Ultimately, the process is about becoming who God is calling you to be as a man. Talking about threats or markers in recovery can help us to that end which we will introduce and explore in this episode. We also discuss acting in (or intimacy aversion) and how that fits into the threats assessment (a deep dive into Acting In, aka Intimacy Aversion is coming in two weeks, you won't want to miss that episode! Thanks for joining us, we are grateful that YOU are here. Download the Threats Assessment Worksheet + Video here. MasterClasses for men can be found here. Info on the Empowered Boundaries MasterClass for women is here. Would love to connect with you on Instagram @shelley_martinkus. We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop! Click here to subscribe to Shelley's {almost} monthly letter. Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.

Picking up where we left off in the last episode, we discuss what it looks like to really work at developing the "muscle" within all of us that alerts us to someone crossing into our hula hoops. Practicing an awareness for when someone crosses those lines (aka limits, or our hula hoop) and what it feels like when that line is crossed is a great place to start. We also talk about naming what we are afraid of when setting boundaries as well as working on identifying what we need when our limits are crossed. Jason and I finally land the plane as we talk more about the sobering reality that setting boundaries won't fix or change others (this can be hard to swallow); nor should boundaries be used to punish. Instead, boundaries help protect us and provide clarity and ultimately help us take back our power. Thanks for joining us, we are grateful that YOU are here. MasterClasses for men can be found here. Info on the Empowered Boundaries MasterClass for women is here. Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus. We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop! Click here to subscribe to Shelley's {almost} monthly letter. Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.

Welcome to Season #3 of Redemptive Living Radio! We are looking forward to sharing more about recovery post-betrayal with you over the next 12 or so weeks! In this episode, we are continuing the conversation on boundaries. To recap, in the last episode we talked about how the word "boundary" is used in two different ways. First, it's how we define our "limits" in life. Recognizing when someone crosses that limit is an important skill to develop. The second type of boundary is active in nature and we use it when we are intentionally protecting ourselves from someone we don't feel safe with. Jason and I then talk about the different categories of boundaries. These include: internal or personal boundaries, relational boundaries, and recovery-related boundaries. Internal boundaries are the limits or the commitments you make to yourself to stay safe and protected. Relational boundaries are the boundaries we have in relationships with others. And recovery-related boundaries are those boundaries necessary in the recovery process. Keep in mind that recovery-related boundaries look and feel different, one of the reasons they can be so challenging to implement. And finally, just a friendly reminder: you have permission to set boundaries that protect you and keep you safe. MasterClasses can be found here. Changes That Heal is an excellent book to read if you are wanting to understand boundaries better. Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus. We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop! Click here to subscribe to Shelley's {almost} monthly letter. Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.