Called and Caffeinated

“Right now God is writing a masterpiece and the story is yours. The question is: will we trust him? Will we allow him to work in us?” Do you wish you could live free of pornography, body image anxiety, or thinking of yourself as “bad?” Do you struggle to let go of habitual sins and wish you could just stop wanting the things that take you away from God? Steve Pokorny, speaker and author of Redeemed Vision: Setting the Blind Free from the Pornified Culture, uses his powerful testimony, knowledge of Theology of the Body and a scientific method (that TRULY works!) to train his clients in breaking their compulsions.  We are, first and foremost, called to be sons and daughters of God. Let’s get that straightened out so that we make healthy, God-centric decisions. In a culture where understanding of sexuality is lacking at best and horribly twisted in many cases, Steve breaks through the noise with beautiful truth and clarity. You’ll be surprised to learn how nudity in sacred art and breastfeeding in public can help redeem our culture!  Topics The septic tank analogy: the state of our culture today How negative talk affects you and others How to inoculate yourself and your children from pornography Re-training your brain to gain freedom from your anxieties and sins Resources Redeemed Vision: Setting the Blind Free from the Pornified Culture Freedom Coaching My Stroke of Insight Maria Lactaens Natalie Stilwell on Called and Caffeinated: Healing Your Wounded Past

“I was Catholic on Sunday, in my terms. I would ask God for things that I wanted, not what he wanted.” Money can be a painful topic. Student debt, inheriting our family of origin’s wounds surrounding finances, and expectations vs. reality can leave us hurting and grasping for control. Stacie and John Martinez were making a good income working in the fashion industry in NYC. They had everything they wanted… until they realized they weren’t fulfilled. In their emptiness they found their fulfillment in the Catholic faith… and almost immediately the economic slump of 2008 hit them hard. With four kids and no jobs in sight, Stacie and John had to completely re-calibrate their definition of “a good life” and what they are working for. Now, Stacie and John are the parents of six children and the owners of Proud Catholic Company (I own one of their shirts and it’s my FAVORITE shirt.) They’re sharing their journey of learning to lean on God and living happily with less. BONUS CONTENT: Enjoy the famous Miserere Mei Deus at the end of the episode with all parts sung by me. It's a Lent-appropriate meditation with a gorgeous soaring high C! Topics Discussed The real value of money Seeing God’s hand working when times are tough Why having kids is not as expensive as people tell you Letting God take care of you Resources Proud Catholic Company Grassroots Films- The Human Experience Grassroots Films- Child 31 This episode is sponsored by the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm's Mission Program Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT). Consider spending a week in loving service and find out more here!

This episode is sponsored by Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT) Mission Program with the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm. Check them out here and consider spending a week in loving service this summer! “Do you want God’s answer more, or do you want God’s love? If you seek God’s love more than God’s answer, you will find them both.” How do you know when he or she is “the one?” How do we stop comparing ourselves to our engaged and married friends? Is it shallow to make physical attraction a criteria for our future spouse? How can we forgive ourselves for our past mistakes?  Leah Darrow is that big sister we all need in our lives to tell it like it is. She’s a powerhouse speaker who dishes out TRUTH regarding issues in dating and discerning marriage that everyone needs to hear during our single years. Leah shares how to live a beautiful and fulfilled life, free of fear, no matter where we are in our discernment by keeping our eyes on what really, really matters. Topics discussed How to tell your significant other about the mistakes in your past The importance of giving God time Do’s and don’ts of approaching friends you'd like to date Setting boundaries for chastity Should only men pursue women or can women pursue men too? Resources Divine Mercy in My Soul- the Diary of St. Faustina The Other Side of Beauty Lux University

This episode is sponsored by the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm's mission program called Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT). www.carmelitesisters.com/SALT-program It's also sponsored by the Carmelite Monastery of Baltimore: https://www.baltimorecarmel.org/ “(Religious life) was the last thing I would have thought I would have been drawn to. I had all these plans. And God had other plans for me! ” If reading the above statement made you feel an instinctive cringe because you’re afraid God might suck you in and call YOU, you must listen! Listen to Momma Stacey and just. Click. The. Button. Do you think that in religious life you will have to let go of your talents and the things that bring you joy? Are you curious about the inner workings of religious life but don’t feel ready to visit orders yet? What do the different parts of the habit signify, anyway? Too often we say, “religious life just isn’t for me.” But do we assume that too soon without truly exploring the question? Fr. Aquinas Beale thought he needed to make it through college and find a job before he could really put his future at God’s feet. He’s a gymnast, musician, super brainy millennial, and was ambitious to make his way in the world. He thought that religious life just couldn’t be a full, happy life for him. In the midst of all his busy-ness, God was calling him to be a monk and priest with the Dominican Order. He has had challenges but has been constantly surprised by how giving his life to God has fulfilled not only his dreams, but also dreams he never knew he had. Whatever stage of discernment you’re at, you’ll love his answer to my question at the end: “is there anything you want young men and women to know?” Topics Discussed: What’s it’s like to live in community The difference between being called to the priesthood or being a monk Steps you take in discernment and in joining an order How you get your new name Pieces of a Dominican habit and what they symbolize  Resources Dominican Friars' website Dominican CDs: In Media Ecclesiae, Gaudeamus, Ave Maria, Christ Was Born to Save: Christmas with the Dominican Friars The Hillbilly Thomists Bluegrass CD by the Dominicans Called by God: Discernment and Preparation for Religious Life by Rachel Collins

This episode is sponsored by the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm's mission program, Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT). Look them up here and consider giving a week in loving service! Show Notes Have you ever felt like your career or life choices just aren’t enough? Has following your dreams disappointed you? Are you worried your control freak or perfectionist personality will hold you back from following God’s will (but you don’t know how to quit those traits)? Do you freak out when you don’t get answers from God? I’ve been to all of those places, and in this episode I’m sharing MY journey!  I am excited (and a bit nervous) to be on the other side of the mic to tell my vocational discernment story. It’s a rollicking tale from touring with Broadway shows to being featured on reality TV, to wanting to become a nun but realizing I wasn’t called to it. With each step through the muddle and confusion I learned how my Type A personality both helped and hindered my hearing God’s voice. God in his wisdom provides endless opportunities to “get it right” and deals with us gently. He has shown me the awesome depths of his love for me, allowing the building of a relationship of trust in which I can let go of the need to be in control. I share the bestest strategies I know of how to get started discerning, how to know what your vocational calling is, how to sort through your levels of desire to find the deepest ones, and a heavy dose of empathy for all those who daily ask “what am I doing with my life?!?” Topics Discussed What to do when you are restless and hungry for “something more” Peace as the guidepost and goal Why everyone should discern religious life Unexpected ways God may speak to us Calls to surrender, relationship and peace Resources The Ear of the Heart- Dolores Hart Little Sisters of the Poor Daughters of St. Mary of Providence The Sisterhood: Becoming Nuns (available on YouTube, Amazon Prime and iTunes) Reasons to NOT Discern Surrender: Your Discernment “Secret Weapon” Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm

  “God is the ultimate creator and we should be like him in our creativity. Look at the gifts you have. Produce the best you can for Jesus.” If you’re a Catholic creative who suffers from creative block or the soul-crushing belief that “it’s all been done before,” this episode is for you.  How do we discern our creative call, create free from self-doubt, AND use it to help redeem our culture? First, we can’t waste time with self-doubt when the Gospel needs to be shared. Second, it’s been freeing to realize that my art isn’t all about me. It’s a service for others. It brings people to God. Your artistry isn’t about ratings or garnering a huge following; it’s about being a channel to God in a way that no one else on Earth can. My guest today, Joe Melendrez, has been performing as a Catholic rap artist since he was 15. He encountered raised eyebrows from Catholics who associate rap with an immoral culture. He’s such a great example of how to redeem an art form that’s all-too-often used for evil. Currently Joe is one of the most well-known speakers and Catholic performers in the US of A. We also talk about branding, feeding yourself spiritually, and discerning your vocation. Y'all, the world needs our Spirit-led creativity. You’re not too old, or too young, or too poor, or too anything to start using your gifts right now. I just encourage you to surrender yourself totally to him and to ask him to flow through you.  Topics discussed: Collaboration and creating content consistently Developing a relationship with the Holy Spirit Articulating your creative mission and forming goals Branding and knowing the audience you’re serving Transforming your art into a ministry Resources: Fr. Rob Galea Ministry Joe Melendrez (check out his new album, Chosen) Scripture Observation Application Prayer (SOAP Method) Marie Forleo God Swagg Apparel Gotta Get it Now Song

“This is not a sin or something wrong with me; this is my call.” Why do Catholics have a tendency to judge each others’ family size? What does the Church say (and not say) about the “right” number of children for a Catholic family? Does being “open to life” mean that married couples should always try to conceive a child? What about emotional well-being: is that a good enough reason to delay a pregnancy or would it be selfish? In this episode I discuss some of the ins and outs of discerning God’s plan with my friend Melanie Smith. I hope we can help de-mystify this subject for anyone who is married or who wants to be married. Ultimately, it’s essential to remember that God’s opinion is the only one that matters. Discerning family size is highly personal, so I thought the best way to approach it would be from my own particular angle (vulnerability alert!) Melanie is an amazing model of how to be a compassionate friend as well as a wealth of resources to approach parenthood with both generosity and prudence :) Melanie is also an incredible community builder, so we get into some specifics on how to start a young adult group in your area. Community is HUGE in discerning call and in enriching our experience of life so enjoy this bonus content! Topics Discussed Postpartum depression and emotional health The joys and difficulties of NFP Just reasons for avoiding pregnancy Trusting God with your fertility Getting rid of preconceived notions of how many children you “should” have What the Church says and doesn’t say about how many children to have How to start a young adult small group in your area Resources naturalwomanhood.org NaPro Technology Fulton Sheen- Three to Get Married Dan and Amber DeMatte- Three Secrets to Holiness in Marriage Catechism of the Catholic Church 2368- reasons to space children Flourish in Hope Blog Theology of the Body Institute- Head and Heart Immersion Course Walking With Purpose Melanie’s email: melanie.yonushonis@gmail.com The Sisters of Life Retreat House

“The call of God will never lead you where his grace cannot keep you.” I’ve heard a looooot of objections from young people about why they can’t possibly be called to religious life. “I couldn’t pray all day.” “I couldn’t give up my family.” “I wouldn’t be suited to taking vows of poverty, chastity and obedience.” “I wouldn’t be able to do the things I love as a nun.” Even: “Nuns are cranky and unhappy people.”  These myths couldn’t be farther from the truth! If you’re not quite ready to visit a convent/monastery but want to dip a figurative toe in the pool of discerning religious life, then I’m excited to introduce you to Sr. Peter Lillian DiMaria and Sr. Mary Donovan. If you’re not discerning religious life but want to know more about the Carmelite charism (and what a charism is,) then this episode is for you too. The Sisters are my co-workers, friends and spiritual benefactors (in case ya don’t know, I work for the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm coordinating mission programs and providing education dementia in their nursing homes.) They are fun, relatable, and live fulfilling, authentic lives. I just loved chatting with them about how they knew they were called to religious life, Carmelite spirituality, and how God has used their gifts within that vocation. Tune in to hear more about Carmelite spirituality, the type of man Sr. Peter thought she would marry, and a lot of other nuggets!  Topics discussed: God uses your gifts in your vocation, even when you don’t see how he could Saying yes to our vocation is lifelong, not a one-time yes The process of becoming a nun How to pray all the time (even when you don’t think you can!) Carmelite spirituality and how it is lived out We are all called to be life-givers regardless of what our callings are  Resources  Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT) Mission Program Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm

When I was discerning my vocation, I remember getting frustrated when I would hear about all this pie in the sky philosophy without getting any answers about how to actually know God’s will and make a decision. I wish I had heard Paul Krenzelok speak then. Enter today’s episode, the perfect marriage of philosophy and practicality! No matter what decision you’re discerning or what stage you’re at, Paul’s episode will give you new insight and effective tools you can use right now. Hopefully you know that you are inherently important, but I think sometimes we kind of gloss over it when we feel small, disorganized, less than what we should be, or just a hot mess in general. I often compare my journey to others’ and forget my unique unrepeatability. Did you know that understanding our dignity, individuality, and identity is the basis of all right discernment? Paul really digs into a truth that we often lose sight of: we need to focus on who we become rather than on what we do. As long as we own our true identity as children of God, the “what” will take care of itself much more easily. Paul also pulls from St. Ignatius of Loyola’s discernment spirituality to give us real, actionable tools that you can use today. If you’ve never heard of consolation and desolation and how they help us get in touch with our deepest desires, you’re going to love this.  Topics discussed: Focusing on discerning Who (identity) rather than What (vocation/career) Ignatius of Loyola’s spirituality Our deepest desires are God's will for us Consolation and desolation as tools for discernment Resources: Franciscan Friars of the Atonement Reasons not to discern religious life Ascension press- Who Are You? Christopher West- Theology of the Body Institute Listening to the Music of the Spirit: The Art of Discernment Catholics on Call: Discerning a Life of Service in the Church Called By God: Discernment and Preparation for Religious Life Ignatianspirituality.com

I remember being so frustrated by the question “What’s THE right choice?” when I was discerning. It’s so easy to think that somewhere there’s an answer sheet that God will show me eventually if I try hard enough. Now I know that that’s looking at discernment entirely the wrong way. I am so excited to share this episode filled with truth bombs with you! I spent 40 straight minutes nodding at everything my guest Mike Creavey said. I wish this episode had been around when I was discerning religious life, but I’m so glad I got to chat with Mike now and take what he said into my own future discernment. I think you’ll find it useful too, no matter what choice you’re wresting with. Mike is one of my most well-read and articulate friends, and he has some truly incredible insight into the “bigger picture” of what we’re getting at when we discern any decision. He came up with a new analogy I had never thought of, and it’s one I want to bring to prayer and keep with me throughout my life for all my decisions. We also discussed what it feels like to hear God speak to you and how realizing our lives belong to someone else changes every waking moment. Mike discerned religious life through college and spent a year in the seminary before ultimately choosing marriage and fatherhood. He holds a Master’s Degree in Theology from Franciscan University (aka he really knows what he’s talking about,) and is the host of the Gracious Guest podcast. Topics discussed: Growing from renting our parents’ faith to purchasing our own, and what it costs Why there isn’t an “answer key” somewhere when it comes to discernment Receptivity as the best way to hearing God speak How discernment is like never-ending spiritual land navigation Our lives are not our own (and why it’s so hard to embrace that) Resources: The Gracious Guest Podcast and Blog Cardinal Sarah’s The Power of Silence Romano Guardini's The Spirit of the Liturgy (Milestones in Catholic Theology) Thomas Merton’s discernment prayer Jean Pierre de Coussade's Abandonment to Divine Providence