Called and Caffeinated

“If our whole will is to do God’s will, then God’s will is our will. God is not here to crush my will; he’s here to vivify it. Sin shrinks it, and sin dulls it. Sin makes our souls a very dull gray, but sanctity gives it a vibrancy and color.” I have one job. That's not true right? As a mom I have MANY MANY jobs. Everyone I know is busy as heck. The questions are overwhelming: Where do I work? Whom do I marry? Where should I move? How many kids should I have? Which religious order do I join? If you ride the overwhelm train often like I do, you wonder if you're making the best choices and #livingmybestlife. As my dear friend Greg Sheffield (seminarian for the Diocese of Rochester) is here to discuss, it turns out God's will is extremely simple: our holiness. We have one job: to be holy. We can stop stressing about everything else. If you think that's too simplistic, you need to hear this episode. As I rush through my days trying to check off my endless to-do list, often feeling frustrated and wondering about where I'm "supposed" to be, it's hugely reassuring that God's will is actually easy to find. Yup I said it: easy. It's as easy to know as sleeping, eating, and drinking. If you think that's too simplistic you absolutely need to hear this episode!  Topics Discussed How to deal with frustrations and upsets How to know God’s will in the present moment (and stop worrying about everything else) Intuition and gut instinct: put there by God? God’s commandments are largely about what we shouldn’t do, but he gives us the creativity to act on what we should do Getting out of micro-managing, scrupulosity, and perfectionism Resources Greg's contact info: gregory.sheffield@dor.org Lindsay Schlegel’s episode on Called and Caffeinated Abandonment to Divine Providence by Jean-Pierre DeCoussad “Don't Do the Things” Bible How to Be Holy: A Festooning of Abandonment to Divine Providence by Peter Kreeft Discernment article by Peter Kreeft Lumen Gentium: Vatican II document on the Universal Call to Holiness

“It gives God glory to answer our prayers. So he set all this up for a purpose.” What if you could make every decision not just well, but PERFECTLY? Well folks, it’s actually been done and cracking open scripture tells us how to do it. The Blessed Mother discerned perfectly, and when we delve into scripture with Joshua Mazrin you will love his insight on how to pray and hear God’s voice like the Blessed Mother did. And if ya love Catholic nerdiness like I do (ever heard the term "quasi-incarnatus" anyone? You're about to find out-) then kick back with a beverage and prepare to be amazed in this episode. I’ll be honest: Praying the rosary has never been my favorite (“can we just do the Chaplet instead??”) Whether you converse daily in visions with Mary or whether you’re in the struggle like I am, this episode is chock-full of concrete, practical advice that you can act on today to help you discern. It’ll cultivate the soil of your soul for God’s word and will to take root in your life in a MAJOR way. Topics Discussed The point of the Josephite marriage and lifelong celibacy  Reading the Bible as a book of promises Mary’s relationship with the Holy Spirit: closer than you know Pray Lectio Divina like never before Developing a relationship with the Holy Spirit The absolute most important aspect of the spiritual life Resources Joshua on Instagram: jmazzy17 Joshuamazrin.com

“It’s that balance of trying to put things down and simplify and silence the world so that I can pay attention to these beautiful people in front of me.” “Live every day as if it’s your last.” We’ve all heard this platitude, and it probably sounds stale. But what if you literally died and then got to come back? Discerning your choices now would probably be a lot simpler in light of your death. What would you do differently? What would you let go of? My guest Melanie Pritchard quite LITERALLY died. She was dead on an operating table for 45 minutes after an embryonic embolism going into labor with her daughter. She was “deader than dead” according to the nurses and her family said their goodbyes. Melanie had spent her 20’s doing the Lord’s work by speaking at Catholic conferences around the country; then, she dedicated herself to her vocation as a wife and mother in her early 30’s. However, Melanie recognized when she came back to life that she still needed to make changes in how she discerned her priorities. If you want to live with peace and learn how to say no, this episode is for you. If you feel like you’re running around and not accomplishing enough, this episode will help you make choices that lead you to gratitude, satisfaction, and simplicity.  Topics Discussed How God used a t-shirt start-up to call Melanie to becoming a speaker on national stages Saying no 80% of the time Trusting God when things go terribly wrong The power of prayer when things are out of our hands Melanie's experience of Heavenly, profound peace Taking a day-to-day inventory of where your peace is, and how to let the small stuff go Resources Searching for and Maintaining Peace by Fr. Jacques Philippe The Day I Died: Finding Hope in Suffering by Melanie Pritchard

“It’s a mix of being authentic but also sharing Jesus. If I were just trying to be what people want me to be on the internet I’d lose it! I’m never going to stop being myself.” Social media is a brand new, evolving frontier in our world. I have real-life friendships that started on social media. I love using it to network and gain ideas and stay connected with family. However, we all know that dark side too: bullied teens taking their own lives, isolation, and comparing our messiness to everyone else's highlight reel. How do we know when social media is part of God's plan for us, and how do we know when we need to log off and walk away? Should we withdraw entirely? How do we engage with the world online but also maintain a healthy spiritual life? Sr. Bethany Davis, a Daughter of St. Paul (aka the "media nuns,") is here to discuss this huge question. You'll love her easygoing style and relatability and also the challenge she presents to each of us to put Christ's mission first. The media nuns also have an amazing idea for influencing public figures through prayer that I'm TOTALLY stealing! I’m obsessed with vocation stories, so of course we also talk about Sr. Bethany's path as a millennial and how she made the counter-cultural choice to embrace the life of a nun.  Topics Discussed Being a digital disciple and spiritually adopting public figures and influencers  The Daughters of St. Paul’s history and charism Why the media nuns should be on social media, and what Sr. Bethany chooses to not share Should we get into debates about hot-button issues on social media? Resources Fr. Aquinas Beale’s episode of Called and Caffeinated Mary Lenaburg’s episode of Called and Caffeinated Social Media: How Much and What For?

“In the end, it all comes down to one question: How well did I love in God’s name? And that’s where surrender comes in: in those little, teeny tiny, quiet yeses.” Life is unpredictable and we often don’t choose the crosses that we carry. Sometimes the things we so desperately want to be fixed, aren’t. Surrender is the most important part of discernment, but how do we surrender when we are scared of being hurt? Mary Lenaburg, author of Be Brave in the Scared, is here to offer empowering insight and hope. I get vulnerable about my struggles, we both cry (possibly several times!) and discuss how to begin trusting God in small ways that lead to big ways. We talk about what is waiting on the other side of suffering: peace, hope, strength, and then using your story to in turn assist others who struggle. Mary is inspirational and I know you’re going to love her! BONUS: O God Beyond All Praising is my all-time fave hymn (it was the recessional hymn at my wedding!) and when I found out that Mary has a special connection to it as well I knew I wanted to include it in this episode. Topics Discussed The many ways God can speak to us Using scripture and music in every difficult situation Living in gratitude even during the worst days Honesty as the key starting point for renewal Answering God’s calls when you don’t feel confident Letting go of expectations and seeing everything as a gift Resources Be Brave in the Scared Taylor Schroll on Called and Caffeinated Fr. Aquinas Beale on Called and Caffeinated This episode is sponsored by Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT) Mission Program with the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm. For more information and to apply, please visit www.carmelitesisters.com/SALT-program

Show Notes “When little things are hard, it’s not just about this moment. This is my training to be able to do a big thing later.”  Do you feel like you’re sliding through your days without enough intentionality? Do the little moments of frustration make you lose your peace and feel crazy? If you’re a parent, do you feel like your parenting style is best described as: “kind of a mess”? *raises hand* If you’re a regular listener, you know that my mission on this podcast is to increase awareness of discernment not JUST as a one-time answer about vocation, but as a lifelong muscle (or skill) that we build up and work out over time. The delightfully chipper Lindsay Schlegel is with me for coffee to lay out your training plan for getting some superbly buff discernment muscles (to continue the weird analogy.) Obedience, surrender, self-initiated spiritual education, and self-reflection are easy to let slip in the day-to-day. They may sound heavy, but don’t be fooled: our lighthearted convo will leave you feeling motivated and energized. Lindsay is the author of Don’t Forget to Say Thank You. She relays life lessons from her motherhood journey that listeners in all stages of life will find relevant. Plus, you’ll find out who the bi-locating patron saint of coffee is (uh, how are he and I not besties already?) BONUS: Bach-Gonoud’s Ave Maria….one of my favorites, so I recorded it when I recently had an opportunity to sing it for my bishop and every priest in my diocese! Organ accompaniment by Michael Plagerman. A beautiful piece for pausing with a cup of coffee in the middle of a busy day for a prayer break. Aaaahhhhh.. Topics Discussed How to become a better listener to God’s voice Can and should Catholic mothers “have it all?” Obedience to God in the small moments A quick and effective Ignatian discernment strategy for any decision Resources Don’t Forget to Say Thank You Pedro Arrupe’s poem: Fall in Love Getting Past Perfect by Kate Wicker One Beautiful Dream by Jennifer Fulwiler The Ignatian Workout by Tim Muldoon Paul Krenzelok on Ignatian Discernment Spirituality on Called and Caffeinated This episode is sponsored by Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT) Mission Program with the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm. For more information and to apply, please visit www.carmelitesisters.com/SALT-program

Show Notes “I was like, ‘God, I don’t want to be a priest,’ but I knew to do good discernment I had to be open to everything. I had to be open to being a priest; I had to be open to being married; I had to be open to whatever God wants for me.” Every good Catholic boy hears from his parish priest and the Church ladies, “I think God is calling you to a priest.” Run away! Run away! Resist! There are instances in life for all of us where it may feel like God is calling us to something we don’t want to do. What do you do when you fear you’re called to something you don’t want to even consider? The ever-droll Taylor Schroll (see what I did there?) of the Forte Catholic Podcast is a lifelong Catholic who defiantly resisted his potential calling to the priesthood for years. We discuss important aspects of discernment: moving your feet instead of waiting for absolute certainty, honesty with God (especially when you’re angry with him!), and surrendering to him before you know the answer. In Taylor’s story, he reveals how his future wife moving across the country to discern religious life actually enabled their relationship. BONUS: at the end listen to an Ave Verum Corpus chant- simple and lovely and a great way to end the episode with a little love for Jesus. Topics Discussed My brilliant business strategy for Taylor that is going to make him $millions$ Can you discern multiple vocations at once? A practical tool to discern what you really want  Resources Forte Catholic Podcast Taylor’s YouTube channel You Don’t Have a Soulmate blog post

Show Notes “He said: ‘I came so that you can have life to the full.’ He didn’t say: ‘I came so you can be stressed to the max, or I came so that you can be stretched totally thin.’” How is a married couple called to be the person of Jesus in the world? If you’re single, do you worry that the sacrifices that come with marriage will be too hard? If you’re married, do you ever feel like you have to give too much of yourself? Does your marriage feel less joyful than you think it should? You’re going to love Dan and Amber DeMatte (I admit; I have a holy couple crush on them, myself!)  First of all, Dan and Amber share a rare distinction with me: we were all on reality TV shows about discernment! Dan was featured on God or the Girl, A&E’s 2006 docu-series about young men discerning the priesthood, in which Amber also appeared as “the girl.” So I of course asked Dan about his show the top questions that people ask me about my show, and hilarity ensues! Then we get into the meat of discerning a vision for your marriage. Dan and Amber empower married couples (or single people discerning marriage) to follow the three evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity and obedience. It seems contradictory, but viewing your marriage as a cross is actually the secret to a holy, happy, lasting union. Topics Discussed Abundant life: what does that mean? Contraception vs. Natural Family Planning- how your fertility integrates with chastity How to make generosity with God easy Obedience in marriage- what it is and what it isn’t Carving out time for prayer when you have small children Forming a family rule of life Resources God or the Girl on A&E Melanie Smith’s on Called and Caffeinated Three Secrets to Holiness in Marriage Dave Ramsey

“I would rather not get married than marry into a bad, compromising situation just for the sake of being married because I guarantee it would be more miserable. And that’s so hard to see when you’re single!” Do you find yourself wondering, “Is this a deal-breaker in our relationship?” Do you fear that, if you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you’ll never find anyone else? Have the rose-colored glasses come off and you realize he or she is not the perfect mate you thought they were? Does it seem like your relationship and personal dreams are in conflict? Break-ups are hard. They’re the worst, especially in a culture that glorifies the wrong vision of love. Lisa Cotter, co-author of Dating Detox and co-host of the popular How-To Catholic Podcast, is giving us a 1-2 punch of philosophical know-how and practical advice today. We discuss the intellect, will, and passions and how they interact to discern EVERY decision. Lisa illuminates how to handle chastity struggles, how to know if you’re being used or loved, and practical ways to build up and operate from God’s vision of love rather than the world’s tainted vision. So much good stuff in here, even for an old married dame like myself ;) Topics Discussed Getting honest with yourself and seeing your partner honestly Handling fear of being single Discerning personal goals and your relationship Projecting virtues that don’t exist and what to do when you “wake up” Resources Dating Detox: 40 Days of Perfecting Love in an Imperfect World How-To Catholic Podcast Deacon Gerard Anthony on Called and Caffeinated Podcast Lisa's website: madetomagnify.com

“Jesus was a deacon, and also a consecrated single person! Most people don’t think about that- talk about imitation of Christ!” *dies laughing* Discovering you’re not called to a vocation you're attached to can feel like God is breaking up with you. Deacon Gerard Anthony knows- he thought he was called to marriage, then religious life, then priesthood… until he realized his calling was none of those. He is called to what I believe are the two most misunderstood calls in Catholicism: the Diaconate and Consecrated Virginity. What are those? Are those real things? Yup. Did you know that several deacons were elevated to pope, that there was a golden age of the Diaconate in Church history, and that deacons are the arm of charity in the Body of Christ? (and, as Deacon Gerard himself says, “liturgical eye candy!”) This episode is packed full of fascinating tidbits that I, even as a lifelong Catholic, NEVER heard. We also talk about how the human need for intimacy can be fulfilled in the consecrated single life. There was so much to cover on being a Deacon that we didn’t get to go in depth about consecrated singles…but don’t worry. I’m gonna get to that in a future episode ;) Topics Discussed What is a deacon? History of the diaconate Life and ministries as a permanent deacon How to know if you’re called to singlehood and/or the diaconate Links The Deacon: Icon of Christ and Icon of Hope by Deacon Gerard Anthony