Gay Men Going Deeper

Struggling with saying no? This discussion explores the fine line between people-pleasing and healthy boundaries. Hosts Matt and Michael share their personal journeys, revealing the roots of codependency and guilt that often hold us back. They offer practical strategies for saying no kindly while keeping relationships intact. Learn how establishing boundaries can ultimately strengthen connections and lead to greater self-worth. Plus, tips for practicing assertiveness in everyday interactions make this conversation a must-listen!

Merle Yost, a psychotherapist specializing in sexual trauma, shares his powerful insights on eroticizing shame and its complex ties to sexual desire. He reflects on his own childhood abuse and how it shaped his understanding of dissociation. The discussion delves into how shame can manifest in BDSM and compulsive behaviors, emphasizing the possibility of reclaiming eroticized experiences as part of healing. Listeners explore ways to recognize healthy versus unhealthy patterns in sexual exploration, making for a deeply impactful conversation.

Communication is at the heart of every relationship—whether it’s with friends, partners, colleagues, or even yourself. But what does it actually mean to be a strong communicator? In this episode, we’re diving into the key skills that make conversations more effective, engaging, and authentic. Join us as we discuss: What makes a strong communicator? The role of emotional intelligence in communication Common barriers that create conflict and misunderstandings Practical tips to improve your listening and speaking skills Whether you want to deepen your connections, set clearer boundaries, or simply get your point across without second-guessing yourself, this episode will give you insights to help you communicate with more clarity and impact. Related Link: Authentic Relating and Empowerment for Gay Men Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

They didn’t teach us about gay sex in school… so we had to teach ourselves. From porn to awkward trial-and-error hookups, most of us pieced together our own “education”—for better or worse. In this episode, Michael is joined by porn star turned sex educator, Patrick Marano, to talk about the sex ed we should have had, how we’ve had to create it for ourselves, and why stigma and censorship still keep gay men in the dark. Some of the topics covered in this episode:  How conventional sex education fails gay men How porn, hookups, and our peers became our teachers (for better or worse) How silence and secrecy fuel sexual shame What we’re still learning today How censorship and misinformation prevent us from getting the info we need How to take control of your own sex education Plus: Our favourite resources, communities, and channels for the sex education we actually deserve. Join Michael’s Sexual Empowerment Men’s Group Use code GMGD to get 25% off! Today's Guest: Patrick Marano Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Is your dating profile truly showing the best version of you? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we're diving into the do's and don'ts of crafting a profile that is aligned with what you’re truly looking for. On the apps, your profile is the first impression that counts so whether you're looking for love, fun, or meaningful connections, it matters.  Some topics we’ll discuss: What it means to show your authentic self without being cringy Choosing the best photos Crafting a bio that stands out. Common profile pitfalls How to be clear without being overly rigid  Balancing confidence with humility How we communicate on apps  Tune in for tips, insights, and takeaways to help you create a profile that attracts the right matches and reflects the real you. Join Michael's FREE one-time workshop where we'll give your dating profile a glow up: The Dating App Glow Up Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

Shay Doran, a men's coach specializing in sexual performance anxiety, shares his journey and insights on erectile dysfunction. They discuss how societal pressures and hookup culture create unique challenges for gay men. Shay explores the psychological factors behind performance anxiety, the impact of childhood shame, and the cycle of secrecy surrounding these issues. Listeners learn practical solutions, the importance of communication, and how to foster emotional connections for better experiences. This transformative conversation helps reduce shame and empowers men to reclaim their sexual health.

A frank look at how hookup and dating apps reshape gay connection, from mindless swiping to lost depth and grief. They examine apps as distraction, generators of compulsive checking, and contributors to disappearing queer spaces. Practical strategies appear throughout, like taking intentional breaks, setting rules, and moving interactions into the real world to reclaim more meaningful relationships.

Bottoming is more than just a position. It’s time to flip the script on the old, tired narrative that bottoms are the passive or submissive partners.  In this episode we’re celebrating all things bottom and introducing the concept of the Empowered Bottom—someone who owns their pleasure, sets boundaries, and takes charge of the experience, whether they’re submissive, bossy, or anywhere in between. We’ll be talking about: The difference between power bottoms and empowered bottoms (and other types of bottoms) Power, control, and who’s really in charge in bed Owning your pleasure without apology Bottom shaming Advocating for yourself Sexual health and feeling confident in your body  Join us for an episode that challenges sexual norms and subverts stereotypes within gay culture.  Related Link: Sexual Empowerment 101 Men’s Group (starting April 3) Today's Guest: Pepper Rojas Instagram Today's Host: Michael DiIorio Instagram Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this episode, we take a deep dive into the dynamics of monogamy in gay relationships. From unpacking the myths and stigmas surrounding monogamy to exploring the concept of devotion and intimacy, we’re challenging assumptions and offer fresh perspectives. Some of the things we discuss: The benefits of monogamy and why some gay couples choose it. What it takes to make monogamy work, and why that may be hard for some people Is there a stigma against monogamy in the gay community? How monogamous relationships help you grow What the research tells us about gay relationships and monogamy  Whether you’re in a monogamous relationship, considering one, or simply curious about the topic, tune in for a thoughtful discussion that blends personal stories, cultural observations, and practical advice for navigating gay relationships. Today's Hosts: Michael DiIorio Matt Landsiedel Reno Johnston Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.

In this episode, Matt speaks with therapist and author Tom Bruett about the struggles many gay men face with romantic relationships. Together they share decades of experience when it comes to understanding the relational challenges faced by gay men. From toxic shame to developmental trauma, they unpack what causes these challenges and how to start healing and empowering ourselves in our relationships.  If you are someone who struggles in your romantic relationships with intimacy, vulnerability or codependency, this episode was created with you in mind. This is an excellent episode if you're seeking guidance in relationship challenges, but it will also help you feel less alone in struggling with two of the most challenging things about being human; emotions and relationships.  The questions explored in this episode: Why do gay men struggle in relationships?  What is required for gay men to develop secure attachment? What is the difference between secure attachment and secure relationship?  What does a secure relationship look like?  What are the stages of queer relationship development? Related Link: The Secure Attachment Handbook Today's Guest: Tom Bruett Instagram Today's Host: Matt Landsiedel Facebook Instagram TikTok Support the Show - viewer and listener support helps us to continue making episodes - CONNECT WITH US - Watch podcast episodes on YouTube Join the Gay Men's Brotherhood Facebook community Get on our email list to get access to our monthly Zoom calls Follow us on Instagram | TikTok Learn more about our community at GayMenGoingDeeper.com - LEARN WITH US - Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others. Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame. Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series. Take the Attachment Style Quiz to determine your attachment style and get a free report.