Gay Men Going Deeper

Addiction to Hook-up and Dating Apps

15 snips
Mar 6, 2025
A frank look at how hookup and dating apps reshape gay connection, from mindless swiping to lost depth and grief. They examine apps as distraction, generators of compulsive checking, and contributors to disappearing queer spaces. Practical strategies appear throughout, like taking intentional breaks, setting rules, and moving interactions into the real world to reclaim more meaningful relationships.
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INSIGHT

Apps Are Search Engines, Not Dates

  • Dating apps act as search engines, not replacements for actual dating.
  • Treating apps as dating risks dehumanizing interactions and expecting the app to do emotional labor.
ANECDOTE

Grindr Dehumanized Dating

  • Michael describes how Grindr dehumanized his dating experience and increased judgment toward gay men.
  • He also felt he missed deeper connections by trading potential relationships for quick transactional exchanges.
ANECDOTE

Fun Run Followed By Grief

  • Reno recounts having a recent active run on Grindr with both good dates and grief about shallow connections.
  • He noticed hookups were momentary and fewer encounters felt deeply fulfilling than the rare deeper connections.
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