The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

It's that time of year again.Dysregulation is increasing, holidays are starting, and school is becoming a very hard place for our kids (and their teachers!)Mid to late October begins a very predictable pattern of dysregulation in the families I work with.It's one thing for this to happen at home, but it's probably happening at school, too.  Now what do you do?Today's episode kicks of a series on Supporting our Kids (and their teachers!) at School and I have some pretty amazing guests planned for you.When we find ourselves in the position of advocating for our kids at school, we get to use the same skills we use with our kids.First- Regulate ourselves!Next- Connect and use co-regulation skills (validate, language like "Of course you feel that way")Third- Assure them you're on their team and have the same goalsFourth- Offer to help without the help causing more stress (IE, don't send a 250 page book to read)In this episode, I even give a sample script on emailing your child's teacher after some not-so-trauma-informed behavior management techniques have been used.You can head over to my blog to get a copy of that script.  https://robyngobbel.com/schooladvocacyIf you'd like to read a long summary of the episode, grab that at https://robyngobbel.com/schooladvocacyNOW! Hit subscribe because there are some pretty amazing guests coming to the podcast in the next 6 weeks!We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

What if we could get better behavior by focusing on something completely different?Dr. Nicole Beurkens is a holistic psychologist in Grand Rapids, MI who also has degrees and experience in education and nutrition.Dr. Beurkens started her career in special education and soon found herself with a desire to work with kids, parents, and families in a deeper way than she was able to as an educator.Through her work with families, as well as her own family, Dr. Beurkens became interested in nutrition and brain health, ultimately earning another master’s degree in nutrition so that she could incorporate nutrition health into her work with kids and families.Go Beneath BehaviorDr. Nicole and I get pretty jazzed about the importance about looking waaaaay beneath behavior at a child’s physiology and how nutrition specifically impacts the child’s physiology.  We agreed that attachment, boundaries, connection, all the things we are always talking about on this podcast are SO important…And…If a child’s microbiome is out of whack, their gut health, is impaired or there are other physiological difficulties that are contributing to their behavioral difficulties, then there is very little change can be made until the physical challenges are addressed.Listen to the episode for Dr. Nicole's ideas to take simple steps that make a big impact on nutrition and brain health, or read a thorough summary over on my blog here.Get more Dr. Nicole Beurkens!You can find Dr. NicoleOn her website https://www.drbeurkens.com/On her Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drnicolebeurkens/On Demand Digital Courses: https://www.drnicoleworkshops.com/On her podcast, The Better Behavior Show https://www.drbeurkens.com/podcasts/At her clinic in Grand Rapids, MI We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Consequences. Punishments. Limits. Boundaries.These words don't mean the same thing but we often use them interchangeably.In this episode, we get clear on what exactly is a consequence versus a punishment versus a boundary.And how parenting through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety is absolutely not boundary-less or permissive parenting.  It's a way of looking at our kids and asking "What does my child need to be successful?" and then giving them that. It definitely isn't about making sure our kids are always happy or never frustrated or we always say yes.It's about changing the lens on how we view their expressions of emotions and behaviors.And yes- it's about setting boundaries that keep our kids safe and help their brains develop the internalized co-regulation (self-regulation!) they need!In this episode, I reference a LOT of other episodes.Has Trauma Informed Become a Behavior Modification Technique?What’s Regulation Got to do With itFocus on Arousal not BehaviorConnection can’t not workWe are Always Searching and Yearning for ConnectionFelt Safety- what’s that?Connection or ProtectionWhat Behavior Really Is- free video series masterclassParenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain- online digital courseRead a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/WhatAboutAConsequenceWe've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

JD Wilson- dad and host of the Empowered to Connect Podcast- believed that his reputation as a 'legend' when he was baby-sitting other people's kids meant he'd be a rock star parent.Then he actually became a parent :) and we all know how that went!  JD and his wife turned to connected parenting because they didn’t know what else to do.  Their tools weren’t working, the way that they were parented weren’t working, and he wanted to learn a different way.It wasn’t easy.  In fact, JD said “for the first couple years of shifting our parenting, it felt like we were running through a swamp.”  It was just so hard to actually put the connected parenting ideals into practice.  JD bravely, boldly, humbly, and humorously shares his journey from spankings to being the co-host of a connected parenting podcast, working and supporting other parents who are also making the journey from punitive to connection based parenting both through the podcast and his work at Memphis Family Connection Center.We're keeping it real here today, and I hope you love JD and his story as much as I do.If you'd like to read a thorough summary of episode, CLICK HERE.You can find the Empowered to Connect podcast here: https://empoweredtoconnect.org/podcast/ or simply search for Empowered to Connect wherever you listen to podcasts!We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Trauma Informed Care was my introduction to a new model on behavior.  A model that went past the behaviorist lens, a model that encouraged us to look way beyond the behavior and get curious about what was driving the behavior. Trauma informed approaches aren't just good for kids with a history of trauma.Truly being trauma informed means connecting with what it means to be human- and then understanding the impact of trauma on top of that.I’ve worried about-- and even gotten some feedback-- that I’m unintentionally minimizing the impact of trauma by first focusing on the neurobiology of being human.Laying trauma-informed principles on top of the neurobiology of being human is how we truly recognize and honor the impact of trauma.What if without first understanding the neurobiology of being human, trauma informed care is reduced to behavior management techniques? To be truly trauma informed, we have to go beyond trauma informed.  We have to be willing to turn upside our beliefs, and the systems in which we’ve built those beliefs, about what it means to be human. If you'd rather, you can read an article instead of listening to the podcast here: https://robyngobbel.com/traumainformedMore ways to move beyond trauma informed:Engaging the Body: Working with Dysregulated Kids is an eight-hour virtual training for professionals (of any kind!) eager to bring movement and body-based experiences intentionally into their work with clients.  I’ve adapted my previously always-sold-out training for play therapists to be applicable to a wider range of professionals and decided to offer it virtually one last time.CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new membersWe've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

"Therapeutic moments can be brief and ideally are spread throughout your whole week—it’s not just about one hour a week with the therapist."  Dr. Bruce PerryWhat if kids (and families!) could get what they need from moments of healing spread throughout their entire week instead of in one hour a week in the therapist's office?  I think we can!  We should. We must.This series on Strengthening the Foundation of the Brain has been all about exactly that.  Finding moments of healing and leaning in. Whether your a parent or professional, this episode will help you develop a keen eye for noticing moments as they arise and how profoundly this work can shift when we remind parents exactly how impact they are are.Would you rather read this episode in a blog post instead of listening on the podcast?  Head to https://robyngobbel.com/momentsofhealing More about Moments of Healing that are Rhythmic, Repetitive, Relational, and SomatosensoryEngaging the Body: Working with Dysregulated Kids is an eight-hour virtual training for professionals (of any kind!) eager to bring movement and body-based experiences intentionally into their work with clients.  I’ve adapted my previously always-sold-out training for play therapists to be applicable to a wider range of professionals and decided to offer it virtually one last time.CLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new membersWe've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Marti Smith, an occupational therapist and trauma specialist, dives deep into the connection between brain function and child behavior. She discusses a holistic approach to therapy that focuses on the neuroscience behind actions, advocating for movement and play as essential tools for communication. Marti emphasizes the importance of building strong, stable foundations in mental health treatment, involving families in the therapy process, and fostering collaboration among professionals to effectively support children affected by trauma.

My guest on this week’s podcast is Michael Remole, a mental health therapist in Central Illinois who integrates trauma-informed equine assisted psychotherapy into his work with clients.A horse-lover since childhood, Michael was working on his master’s degree in counseling when he realized he could integrate his love for horses with his passion for working with people who had experienced trauma.  Michael is now the COO and Director of Clinical Services at Gateway Family Services.  He is trained in Natural Lifemanship as well as Dr. Bruce Perry’s Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics, which is focused on strengthening the foundation of the brain- especially the brainstem and diencephalon.  Michael is also the founder and director of the Rising Tide Conference.Michael kicks of the conversation by talking about how the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics provides a roadmap of brain development.  According to the NMT, if we to help strengthen the brain (ourselves, our clients, or our children’s brain), we have to connect with the part of the brain that’s online in that moment.   Michael stated that if he wants to connect to a horse – or human!- who is operating from the lowest part of it’s brain in a fight or flight response, Michael has to “speak the language of the brainstem”, which is rhythmic, patterned, and repetitive sensory input.  While he’s working with horses, that could translate into how is swinging a rope or patting his legs- in a rhythmic, patterned, repetitive, sensory input.When horses are in survival-mode, they have a very difficult time accessing their ‘thinking’ parts of the brain.  They need humans to be predictable as a way to communicate safety!This, of course, is true of humans, too.Connect with MichaelMichael is doing some truly ground-breaking work within his community- go check it out!Gateway Family ServicesGateway Family Services on FacebookWe've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Mandy Jones, the Program Director of The Theraplay Institute in Chicago, is a dedicated therapist who specializes in enhancing parent-child relationships. In this discussion, she dives into Theraplay, a unique approach that focuses on healing through connection. Mandy highlights the vital dimensions of structure, engagement, nurture, and challenge in fostering strong bonds. She also addresses the significance of attunement in understanding children's cues and shares insights on nurturing behaviors that support child development and resilience.

Dive into the fascinating world of the brainstem, the foundation of our nervous system! Discover how rhythmic and relational experiences can heal and nurture its development, especially in children affected by trauma. Learn about the automatic functions it oversees, from heart rate to energy regulation, and the importance of connection in parenting. This discussion reveals the often-overlooked link between behavior and the brainstem, offering insightful perspectives for parents navigating complex emotional landscapes.