The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

I love love love talking about self-compassion for two main reasons.  #1- Self-Compassion is solidly anchored in the relational neurosciences- and you know how much I love...and need...for things to be anchored in science.  #2- Self-compassion has tenacity.  There's no way out.  Self-compassion has an answer for all your reasons why you aren't worthy of self-compassion.  I love that about self-compassion (probably because people describe me as tenacious- especially, relationally). In this episode, we will explore the science of self-compassion.  We'll look at why compassion is the neurobiology of change.  Why you deserve compassion.  Why compassion is how the brain heals and changes.  Compassion can feel risky- and I'll give you the science that might help you feel safe enough to take the vulnerable step toward self-compassion.To read more about self-compassion, visit robyngobbel.com/selfcompassionTo learn about The Club- a a virtual community of  parents of kids who have experienced trauma will offer connection, co-regulation, and compassion to each other, visit robyngobbel.com/theclubAnd to begin your journey into brain-based parenting through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety with my free masterclass, head over to robyngobbel.com/masterclassWe've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Or mad? Or scared? Or overwhelmed? Or shut-down?Why do I make a mountain out of a mole hill?  Why can’t I keep it together?  Being ignored (or yelled at or cussed at or disrespected or refusing to eat or do a chore or or or or the list is endless) is never going to feel good.  But- have you ever wondered why your brain goes into full on attacking watch dog mode when the reality is- refusing to do a chore, go to school, or even being ignored or yelled at, isn’t life threatening?If it isn’t life threatening, why does our brain go to attack mode?We talk about two reasons in today's episode:Decreased window of stress toleranceImplicit memory awakenings***************I talk about a LOT of resources in this episode!Blog articles:Finding PlayfulnessSelf-CompassionNo Behavior is Maladaptive The free video series on Trauma, Memory, and Behavior will take you further into understanding the impact of implicit memory on your kid's behavior AND yours!robyngobbel.com/videoseriesAnother awesome way to widen your window of stress tolerance is to come join the most amazing group of parents you could ever hope to find!  It will decrease your sense of aloneness and increase your sense of connection and regulation- all of which will dramatically increase your window of stress tolerance! This (and MORE) can be accessed as the part of The Club Learning Libraries for Club members. CLICK HERE to read about The Club and add yourself to the waiting list to be notified the next time the Club opens!We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

I'll bet you are familiar with this baffling phenomenon.Everything seems great.  Fun!  Even laughter and real good times.And all of the sudden- completely dysregulation and melt-down.Sometimes even just the anticipation of something fun can lead to dysregulation.I know that understanding the why doesn't exactly solve this problem, but I definitely find that understanding the why can open up compassion and keep us more regulated.  Which then means we can respond instead of react.In today's episode we are looking at the science behind why this happens.It's science- not sabotage!  Promise!***************In this episode you hear me mention a F R E E three-part video series on Trauma, Memory, and Behaviors.  You can find that at https://robyngobbel.com/videoseriesIf you are ready to take a deep-dive into parenting a child impacted by trauma through the lens of regulation, connection, and felt-safety, you'll want to check out my self-paced, comprehensive, and all online digital course Parenting after Trauma: Minding the Heart and Brain.  You can find that at https://robyngobbel.com/parentcourseCLICK HERE to read about The Club and join the waitlist for the next time we welcome new membersWe've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Connection.  Empathizing.  Offering choices.  These parenting ideas sound good in theory but if you are living with a child who seems chronically angry or won’t get out of bed or is otherwise pretty much always unhappy or dysregulated- none of those parenting suggestions seem to do much good.  So…what should you do instead???This episode takes you through the three places I always recommend parents start first when they are trying to support their child who feels chronically dysregulated.1. Food, water, and movement2. Structure, routing, and predictability3. Stick closeThese may or may not help your child to decrease their level of arousal and dysregulation but they are always where I recommend parents start first!We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Explore the emotional complexities of the holiday season, where pressure and joy collide. Discover the importance of community support for parents facing challenges with their children. Reflect on self-compassion and recognize your worth amidst the chaos. The speaker shares personal growth and gratitude for listener connections, hinting at exciting plans ahead. It's a reminder that parenting struggles are universal, and you're not alone in this journey.

Lori Desautels is an assistant professor in the College of Education at Butler University in Indianapolis.  Dr. Desautels is especially interested in applying the social and affective neurosciences, including polyvagal theory, into the education setting.  Dr. Desautels also spends two days a week in the classroom, currently with 7th graders, where she has the opportunity to be applying the concepts she is teaching to other educators.  Dr. Desautels remembers that even before she moved into academia or had the opportunity to be exposed to social neuroscience she had a lot of curiosity about what behavior really is.  She’s always been on a quest to find out what is driving behavior (sound familiar?!).Now equipped with the science of behavior, including the autonomic nervous system, she is tenaciously working to bring this science to classroom educations. In today's episode, Dr. Desautels gives us a primer in:The brainstemFight/flight/collapse behaviorsHow to help kidsHow to help adultsDiscipline versus punishment.  Find Dr. Desautles!Dr. Desautels’ website: Revelations in EducationHer book: Connection over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline can be ordered HERE on Amazon.  The audio book is coming soon!Read a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/ConnectionsOverComplianceWe've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

You might have met Jim Sporleder in the groundbreaking documentary Paper Tigers.  Jim is the former principal of Lincoln High School in Walla Walla, Washington, where he led his team and ultimately his students on the journey of becoming a trauma-informed school.  The work Jim, his team, and his students did was so phenomenal that it inspired the documentary Paper Tigers.  If you haven’t seen Paper Tigers, I highly recommend it.  It is absolutely worth your time!  A New Lens on BehaviorJim was inspired to shift toward a trauma-informed lens because he knew his school and his students needed something different.  He attended a trauma and toxic stress conference in 2010 where he was exposed to a completely new paradigm on behavior.“I always believed behavior was a choice,” Jim said.  He left that conference in 2010 with a new – and radically different - understanding of behavior.  He said it felt like he was hit by a bolt of lightning; he knew immediately that his approach to discipline needed to change.  Connect with JimWatch Paper Tigers on iTunes by CLICKING HERE.Watch Paper Tigers on Amazon by CLICKING HERE. Watch Paper Tigers on You Tube by CLICKING HERE.Find Jim’s consulting services by CLICKING HERE.Jim is the co-author (with Heather Forbes) of The Trauma Informed School.  You can find that by CLICKING HERE.Read a summary of thisWe've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Greg Santucci is an Occupational Therapist who has taken Facebook by storm with his bold, playful, and useful posts about working with kids- especially kids with regulation challenges.  He currently works both in a hospital clinic and in the schools.  Greg also has a consultation and training business where he gets to travel the country, training schools and occupational clinics in his ground-making model of working with kids through the lens of regulation and the neuroscience of behavior (sound familiar?!).Greg has years of experience as a school-based occupational therapist and advocating for the respectful treatment of students.Greg is vocal voice in the movement away from behavioral therapy, especially ABA.  He is emphatically opposed to behavioral methodology and practices while at the same time, he never criticized the professionals who have worked from a behavioral model.We know more now and we have to be brave enough to move past what we thought we knew.  Greg SantucciYou will love this inspiring and fun episode with Greg Santucci while we explore a hard topic- shifting away from a behavioral approach- with compassion and joy.You MUST go follow Greg on Facebook.  If you're not on Facebook, you should create an account just to follow him, it's that good ;)https://www.facebook.com/gregsantucciOTRead a summary of this episode and access the full show notes at: RobynGobbel.com/AgainstABehavioralApproachWe've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Julie Been is the executive of the Attachment and Trauma Network, a non-profit organization the supports the families of children with experiences of attachment trauma.  One of the resources ATN offers the community is the Creating Trauma Sensitive Schools conference.In today's episode, Julie and I talk a bit about how the conference came to be and what you can currently find at the conference (which is offered both virtually and in person in 2022).Julie also shares her go-to advice for parents who are struggling to get the services their child needs at school.You can read a summary of the podcast over at: https://robyngobbel.com/traumasensitiveschoolsParents and educators can join ATN for free.  CLICK HERE to see what ATN offers.ATN also offers a podcast- Regulated and Relational- that Julie co-hosts with Ginger Healy.The 2022 Creating Trauma Sensitive Schools Conference is open for registration and you can see all the details and register by CLICKING HERE. We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Is it possible to consider that the story we write about the experiences we are having are exactly that? Just a story?  And that it's possible to re-write that story?What about the story we write about someone else's behaviors and our reaction to those behaviors?This week's guest, Emily Daniels, MEd., MBA, NCC, SEP in Training, is the founder of HERE this NOW, a trauma-informed education and consulting firm dedicated to bringing trauma-informed education into schools.  She is the author of The Regulated Classroom, a guidebook for teachers to help them bring the science of regulation and the autonomic nervous system into their classroom, as well as the Educator Self-Care Toolkit, a collection of regulation hacks and sensory tools for educators.  Emily's superpower is obviously bringing a relational approach to what can be pretty heavy science - polyvagal theory and the autonomic nervous system.  She's fun, relatable, and teaches the science in a way that makes sense and is actually useful and practical in real life.  The Regulated Classroom is organized into four classroom practices:Connectors- Practices that cultivate relationships in the classroomActivators- Collective rhythm-making exercises grounded in the theory of regulating the brainstemSettles- Practices to calm the body’s stress responseAffirmations- Practices that encourage reflection, compassion, and recognition for self and others.Emily is an absolute delight and you will love meeting her in this episode.  She is leading the way in trauma-informed education practices with her focus on helping the teacher be regulated.  More of Emily!When you're done with this episode, you're going to want to figure out a way to bring Emily to your school district.  But if you can't, you can order Emily's amazing resources online.HERE this NOW (consulting and training services)The Regulated Classroom GuidebookEducator We've rolled out the red carpet just for you!!! If you're looking for more tools, more strategies, more understanding, and more community (not to mention, growing your owl brain so you can actually USE the tools and strategies you learn) come join us in The Club! We're welcoming in new members until Friday!CLICK HERE! ---> RobynGobbel.com/TheClub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)