The Baffling Behavior Show {Parenting after Trauma}

Marshall Lyles is here with me today to help me reflect on the journey of bringing Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors into the world.I knew Marshall was just the person to ask to help me with this. He asked questions I was so grateful to reflect on. Thank you for witnessing this experience for me and allowing me to accompany your journey.Book!!!-Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors released September 21. CLICK HERE to order now!Read the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/talkaboutwritingLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Happy happy birthday to Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors.I wanted to celebrate with you! Y'all mean soooo much to me and resonating in the excitement of the book with you felt really important.This episode contains a short reading from the book that I hope you enjoy!If you've received the book already and have had a chance to read it, will you take a moment to leave a review on Amazon? Even if you didn't buy it there!It's the #1 way to help Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors reach the folks who really need it. A lost, struggling, hopeless parent. An educator who is open to new ways of being in the classroom. A play therapist looking for a new way to be with parents and kids.You can CLICK HERE if your podcast app lets you or just head to Amazon and search for Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors.:::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

The best way to love your child’s watchdog and possum parts is by loving your own.Today, as I move toward wrapping up this writing-and-publishing-a-book chapter in my life, let’s talk a little more about the neuroscience of owls, watchdogs, and possums, why the science matters, and how my work has surprisingly become more about helping the grown-ups love their own owl, watchdog, and possum brains.Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors uses metaphor, story, and science to strengthen your owl brain (ventral vagal complex) and increase your window of stress tolerance. It is my hope that in reading this book, you will feel held by my owl brain.Thankfully, I have owl wings wrapped around my watchdog and possum brain, too. You can read about those folks in my acknowledgments. I have so many owls who have knit themselves into my neurobiology and strengthened my own owl self so that I can offer compassionate gratitude and nonjudgmental presence to you and your child.In this episode you’ll learn:The science of the owl brain through the lens of Interpersonal NeurobiologyThe science of the owl brain through the lens of polyvagal theoryThe best way to strengthen YOUR owl brainHow strengthening your owl brain is the best way to strengthen your child’sResources mentioned in this podcast:Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors released September 21. CLICK HERE to choose from a variety of pre-order bonuses, including a signed copy or 20% off.Free Resources! -  robyngobbel.com/freeresourcesRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/lovingyourwatchdogLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Ever wondered why knowing the right parenting strategies doesn't always lead to action? This discussion delves into the neuroscience behind behavior, highlighting how much of our actions stem from unconscious processes. It explores the impact of a sensitized stress response on parenting, revealing why regulated and connected parents can better support their children. The conversation also emphasizes the importance of self-regulation and compassion, making it clear that struggling with these challenges doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent.

Instead of responding or reacting to challenging behaviors, think about it as calming the watchdog or the possum brain. Once you understand how your child’s behaviors correspond to their level of dysregulation and lack of felt safety, you’ll be able to use strategies (for regulation, connection, and felt safety) that really work.In this episode we’ll discuss:How challenging behaviors are the result of the stress response systemWhy some kids have sensitized stress responses that lead to baffling behaviorsStrategies to calm the watchdog and possum brainResources mentioned in this podcast:Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors released September 21. CLICK HERE to choose from a variety of pre-order bonuses, including a signed copy or 20% off.Free Resources! -  robyngobbel.com/freeresourcesRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/calmwatchdogpossumLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Wondering how to tackle your child's baffling behaviors effectively? Join me as I share insights from my comprehensive framework, as well as practical tools and an understanding of your own nervous system. We'll break down how three elements interweave to address complex behaviors and also discuss the subtitle behind my book, "Brain-body-sensory Strategies That Really Work."In this episode you’ll learn:Why the approach in Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors is an approach that ‘really works’Why Growing the Owl Brain is a more important place to focus than Responding to Watchdog and Possum Brain behaviorThe three things to address to Grow the Owl BrainResources mentioned in this podcast:Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors released September 21. CLICK HERE to choose from a variety of pre-order bonuses, including a signed copy or 20% off.Scaffolding Is A Form Of Co-regulation {EP 82}The Connected Therapist by Marti SmithRead the full transcript at: RobynGobbel.com/growtheowlbrainLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Understanding what behavior really is helps us:Stop playing behavior whack-a-moleUse strategies and tools that really workStay more regulated so we can use our thinking brain to make good choices about what to do nextWe’re going back to basics with today’s podcast episode with a short exploration of the neuroscience of behavior- especially the most baffling behavior.Resources mentioned in this podcast:Book pre-order/order: robyngobbel.com/bookRead the full transcript at:RobynGobbel.com/whatbehaviorreallyisLet's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Are you struggling to find common ground with your partner when it comes to parenting? This episode will shed light on this common dilemma as we discuss understanding behavior, creating a support plan, and cultivating authenticity and honesty within the family. We'll explore the reasons behind resistance to paradigm shifts and dive into the intricacies of the owl, watchdog, and possum metaphor. You'll learn how curiosity and connection can bridge differences with your parenting partner, even when they seem insurmountable.In this episode you’ll learn:The importance of addressing underlying issues and supporting your partner with parenting strugglesHow having different parenting styles or philosophies doesn’t mean you can’t be a successful partnershipAbout tools needed to navigate these challenges and strengthen the relationship with your parenting partnerResources mentioned in this podcast:Has Trauma Informed Become A Behavior Modification Technique? {Ep 54}What if Trauma Informed…Isn’t? {Ep 134}But- What About A Consequence?!?! {Ep 56}When Your Nervous System Is Fried {Ep 139}Self-Compassion Will Change Your Brain {Ep 8}Q&A! What Do I Do When My Kid Gets Stuck And Ends Up Flipping Her Lid? {Ep 74}Focus On The Nervous System To Change Behavior {Ep 84} (Podcast)Let's hang out this summer at two different trainings for professionals!Therapy with Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors- June 1 & 2 in Syracuse, NY RobynGobbel.com/NYPresence in Practice- July 15, 16, & 17 in Rockford, MI (outside Grand Rapids) RobynGobbel.com/Michigan2026 Get access to over 25+ free resources in our brand, new Free Resource Hub! RobynGobbel.com/FreeResourceHub :::Grab a copy of USA Today Best Selling book Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors robyngobbel.com/bookJoin us in The Club for more support! robyngobbel.com/TheClubSign up on the waiting list for the 2027 Cohorts of the Baffling Behavior Training Institute's Immersion Program for Professionals robyngobbel.com/ImmersionFollow Me On:FacebookInstagramOver on my website you can find:Webinar and eBook on Focus on the Nervous System to Change Behavior (FREE)eBook on The Brilliance of Attachment (FREE)LOTS & LOTS of FREE ResourcesOngoing support, connection, and co-regulation for struggling parents: The ClubYear-Long Immersive & Holistic Training Program for Parenting Professionals: The Baffling Behavior Training Institute’s (BBTI) Professional Immersion Program (formerly Being With)

Dayna Abraham, author of 'Calm the Chaos,' shares her journey from sibling to parent of challenging children with vulnerable nervous systems. She discusses her transformative framework for parenting, emphasizing that children’s uniqueness should be celebrated. Dayna highlights the need for emotional connection over rigid academic success and reflects on her decade-long growth in navigating parenting challenges. With practical strategies, she empowers parents to build a supportive community and nurture their child’s emotional well-being.

Navigating the complexities of parenting a child with a sensitive nervous system can be daunting. The discussion sheds light on the fine line between enabling and co-regulation, revealing how misinterpretations can hinder growth. Parents learn to distinguish between genuine needs and their own comfort when lowering demands. With a focus on attunement, the hosts highlight the critical role of reflective practices in enhancing the caregiver-child relationship, especially for those with trauma histories.