Real Recovery Talk

5 Min or Less Visit: www.realrecoverytalk.com for all the episodes Ben and I Can be reached at: Ben@realrecoverytalk.com Tom@realrecoverytalk.com Also Follow us on FB and YouTube @RealRecoveryTalk When having a conversation with somebody it's important that we try and practice active listening. Active listening will let that person know that we hear them, although we may not be able to relate, we understand what they are saying. Active listening is a great way to have healthy communication with whoever that person may be. If you have a loved one that is struggling with addiction, eventually you will have to have a conversation with them. So being able to listen actively is very important. If we cannot listen actively, it portrays that we don't care for them, we don't hear them, and we are disregarding their feelings. Active listening is something that we can practice on a daily basis. Next time you're having a conversation with someone pay attention to your body language, your tonality, and your eye contact. Try not to stare off into space somewhere, leaving them think that you are not paying attention to them. Repeat back to them what they have said in your own words and offer your feedback if warranted. Often times all people want is for you to listen and to not speak. Don't forget that.

Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Look for our new daily shows, which are five minutes or under! Listen in for yourself or for a friend. You can also find our new short episodes on our Facebook page. Today Ben and I will talk about the importance of helping other people in sobriety and why this is significant for your own recovery. When we help other people, we are helping ourselves, which is, in essence, selfish. However, this is a definite form of selfishness because when we help others, we are also assisting ourselves in not only their recovery but our own recovery. In this episode, I talk with Brad Jensen, the founder of Key Nutrition, who is in recovery. He comes to us today to talk about how fitness and health have positively impacted his sobriety. Brad also talks about his struggles with sobriety. He'll talk about his experience, his awareness of the three pillars to life, and how he can assist clients with his coaching to be more successful on the path of sobriety. Ben talks about a quote he learned, "The best way to get out of your own shit is to jump into someone else's shit." There are days and situations where you may feel down regardless of what you do to get yourself out of feeling low. When I start helping someone else, my positive state of mind when helping others definitely changes my attitude. At Real Rock Recovery, we work with the local church and nursing home as an opportunity to help others, which keeps up humble and appreciative of what we have in life. Finding joy and peace in helping others, especially when mentoring other addicts, creates a sense of gratefulness for what you have. Listen in to find out how you can become grateful for what you have, what you can give others, having the ability to become a sponsor, and give others their medallion. Find out what type of commitments Ben has made at H & I's and how he feels rewarded by using his time to help others. Find out what Ben has to say to others who feel that they have nothing to share. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [06:27] Why you should be selfish with your recovery. [09:21] Tom talks about his opportunity to help others in Bell Glade. [15:44] Ben speaks about the medallion ceremony, the thoughts and the hard work behind those who have earned their medallion. [18:20] How Ben figured out he wanted to start helping and mentoring others through sobriety. [20:02] People who want to help others versus people who aren't interested in helping others. [21:44] What Ben would say to people who think they have nothing to offer others. [24:56] No matter how much time we have, there will always be someone with less time than us. [26:44] Are you hanging out with someone at the same level as you or are you branching out and meeting new people? [30:18] No matter what way, shape or form, reach out to help other people! Links and Resources: Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Brad Jensen | Key Nutrition Coach

5 Min or Less It is not weak to admit defeat! I am an addict. I am an alcoholic. In this video we discuss the importance of qualifying. We have the only disease, that tells us we don't have it, that has to be self diagnosed. If I do not admit to myself that I have a problem, I am most likely not going to seek out a solution. Admitting that I am an alcoholic or a drug addict, is simply stating that I need to change. When the pain of staying the same, becomes greater than the pain of change, is when change occurs.

Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said by me right now? After putting down the drink and drug, my next goal was to figure out how to live life. How can I live life in such a way that minimizes anxiety, worry, resentment or the like? I know that if I live my life feeling these negative feelings as a constant, I will eventually go back to the "ease and comfort" of a substance. So my new job is to minimize the amount of time that I have these feelings. The question is, how do I keep these feelings to a minimum? That begins with making sure that I do not put myself in such situations to begin with. How can I best avoid confrontation and conflict so that these feelings don't arise? First of all, I need to learn how to communicate with others. One of the best ways to do this, is to figure out when and where to involve myself in disagreements. I have come to find that by just sitting back and keeping my mouth shut, I find myself in less confrontation. Time heals all wounds. What may have seemed like a big deal today, may mean nothing by tomorrow. If I had just kept my mouth shut, I could've avoided a lot of confrontation.

You are who you surround yourself with! The people that we choose to hang around with will directly affect the level of success we achieve throughout our sobriety. If we choose to hang out with losers, we will lose. If we choose to hang with winners, we will win. This goes for anybody in life. Not just people getting sober. If you want to be a successful business person then hang out with successful business people. If you want to be a successful mountain climber hang out with successful mountain climbers. Although this sounds very surface level it is the absolute truth. Often times people claim they want to be "sober" but spend the majority of their time doing things that non-sober people would do. Sobriety means so much more than just putting down the drink or the drug. It is about changing our lifestyle. And that often times means changing our people, places and things. We need to have a total mindset shift when getting sober and that happens by hanging out with people that resemble sobriety. Stick with the winners!!!

So you think you know what it means to surrender in recovery? A term that gets thrown around a lot in recovery is the word surrender. It sounds good when you say it, but do you really know what it means? Do you really know what you're committing to? I thought surrender meant to go over to the winning side, or give up. Come to find out, it means "to agree to the terms of peace." Meaning, if you want peace, there is going to be terms. There may still even be consequences. Just because I surrender, doesn't necessarily mean I get to go home free. I'm probably still gonna have to go to jail or report to court at some point. That doesn't sound fun! Point is, surrender is usually followed up with some sort of commitment, task, consequence or the like. When I surrender to a life of recovery, it means that I am going to have to do some work to find and keep the PEACE.

5 Min or Less You Gotta Put In the Work! please visit www.realrecoverytalk.com Follow @realrecoverytalk Join @realrecoverytalksupportgroup If you are going to take the plunge into getting sober, you have to understand that it is going to take a lot of hard work. I sometimes think that people are under the misconception that getting sober is just about stopping using drugs and alcohol. That is very far from the truth. I have noticed that when things get hard for people that is when they tend to quit. When challenges arise, or uncomfortability sets in, then they'll throw in the towel. This is the time that you have to knuckle down and do the work that you don't necessarily want to do. When you are in addiction treatment it is hard work. If you want to get anything out of treatment itself you have to be willing to work hard, be vulnerable, be honest and grind it out If you're able to continue to work hard and to put forth all your efforts into your sobriety you will succeed. I can guarantee sobriety for anybody that is willing to work hard, nonstop! Don't come into this looking for an end date or a graduation certificate. Come into this understanding that there is no end date and this isn't something you graduate from, it's a lifestyle.

5 min or Less I can see straight through your "stage-character!" There is a reason 30 days is not enough to get to the underlying issues and the root of the problem. Every client comes into treatment presenting their stage character. This is the person that they want everybody to think they are, so they can get the reputation they think they deserve. Funny thing is, this usually gives way after about three weeks. When a client is under the watchful eye of a facility, they can only keep their character defects hidden for so long. Their true character will eventually come out. This is a good thing. It exposes the truth about their personality and character. A personality and character that must change in order for an individual to attain long-term sobriety. My sponsor told me, I didn't have a drug and alcohol problem; I had a personality problem. So let me ask you. If it takes a treatment team around three weeks to see what the underlying issues are, how are we supposed to fix that in a remaining week? This is assuming the client committed to 30 days of treatment. This is why it is so highly recommended that somebody commit to around 90 to 120 days at minimum. Years of drug and alcohol addiction can not be undone in 30 days! This is assuming, you are of course the real deal addict or alcoholic. In my case, I have the PRIVILEGE of participating in recovery everyday for the rest of my life! And it is awesome!

Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Look for our new daily shows, which are five minutes or under! Listen in for yourself or for a friend. You can also find our new short episodes on our Facebook page. Today I will talk about the process and path of a person moving from being a "normie" to using drugs and alcohol and becoming an addict. In this episode, I talk with Brad Jensen, the founder of Key Nutrition, and is in recovery. He comes to us today to talk about how fitness and health have positively impacted his sobriety. Brad also talks about his struggles with sobriety. He'll talk about his experience, his awareness of the three pillars to life, and how he can assist clients with his coaching to be more successful on the path of sobriety. Struggling with anxiety and ADD from age 12, he tried alcohol as a release and found drinking worked to relieve his stress. Additionally, he was overweight and was picked on by friends. By age 14, Brad jumped into reading books on health and fitness and was hooked on his health class at school. He remembers wanting to look like a bodybuilder on the cover of a magazine, then realizing that alcohol would not let him achieve his goal and quit drinking. At the end of his sophomore year, he was fit, but still had anxiety and was presented with opiates at a party. Even with a stable family situation and a good life, Brad fell into drugs and alcohol. "This wasn't supposed to happen to a guy like me," he says, recalling his stable family life. Brad continued bodybuilding, along with his heroin addiction, until he finally ended up in prison for an extended period. Listen in to find out how Brad denied his addiction for years, how he recovered from his long-term addiction in November of 2012, and the best thing his parents did for him during recovery. Brad also talks about how the loss of his grandfather affected his recovery from addiction. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [03:59] Brad's journey through addiction and his background with drugs and alcohol. [06:01] Brad tells his story of how he was introduced to and hooked on opiates. [08:45] His experience of trying to take more pain pills and how to get a hold of more. [10:56] Building his identity through distributing opiates, the significant power this gave him and his first experience with heroin. [14:52] His senior year of high school his mom found a briefcase full of drugs. [22:56] Brad's first experience with a long-term prison sentence. [26:18] How Brad's parents stopped enabling him and how this helped him to stop using drugs. [28:06] What happened when Brad asked his mom for drugs. [30:00] Brad's first steps to recovery after he was released from 30 days in prison. [36:54] How materialistic items can keep people sober. [46:30] How fitness and health has impacted Brad's sobriety. [51:54] Get your anger, anxiety and issues out of your head with a good workout in the gym. [54:54] It's not how long you've been sober, it's what you've done during and after your recovery time. Links and Resources: Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Brad Jensen | Key Nutrition Coach

MTV Real World: "the halfway house" In this video I will discuss the abundance of stimulus one feels while living in a sober support community. There is always something entertaining going on. It is the excitement of a new environment. It is the chaos of living with others. I discuss this topic to bring awareness and preparation for the day that you move out into the adult world. All of a sudden you will find yourself alone and dependent upon the outside support community that you have either built or have not built. I always tell our clients to duplicate the same sense of community they feel in treatment, outside of treatment. Being in treatment exposes one to the connection that can be felt. After being exposed, one may find value in establishing a more permanent recovery Community. Treatment and halfway is only temporary. Are you preparing yourself for the day that you move out? Will you feel like you have an abundance of support even though you are no longer enrolled in treatment? Forget halfway, and go the WHOLE-WAY!