Real Recovery Talk

"There are two kinds of people in this world: people in recovery who think they're not and people in recovery who think they are." Tullian Tchividjian Today, I'll be talking with Tullian Tchividjian, a pastor and active in the addiction community that Ben and I have gotten to know very well. He has come to Rock Recovery Center to share his experience and strength with our clients. Tullian is a pastor for The Sanctuary, a church in Jupiter, Florida. Tullian grew up in a laid-back Christian home that was supportive and friendly. In the middle of seven children, he always had a family at hand. At the age of 16, Tullian started to dabble in drugs and alcohol. His parents gave him the choice of giving up drugs and alcohol or leaving home. Tullian decided to live life on his own. First, he enjoyed his newfound freedom. Then, at age 21, he realized "there's got to be more to life than what I'm experiencing." With his parents laying a good foundation, Tullian realized he needed to go back to God, similar to the Prodigal Son story in the Bible. "I was so taken by God's amazing grace and his unconditional love in coming after a train wreck like me that I wanted to spend the rest of my life telling the world about this God." At the age of 41, his entire world came crashing in with a divorce, losing friends, and book deals. "Dealing with the guilt, shame, regret, and loss of all of this and beginning my life of recovery from this ordeal" felt to Tullian as if he was in recovery and dealing with many of the same feelings although he hadn't been an addict. His second wife, Stacey, came into his life and was an active part of recovering his life. At this point, non-Christians were the people who helped him feel "less alone," which resulted in Tullian having no interest in leading a church as a pastor again. His belief is that we all have a negative connection to something in this world and that we are all in constant recovery to reach the next level of our own humanity. Listen to his amazing story of how he came to transform and reinvent himself, his new congregation and his message of Christianity for everyone. Bio Tullian is a south Florida native. The middle of seven children, he dropped out of high school and got kicked out of his house at 16 years old. After a few years of running from God, God captured him and gave him a burning desire to reach a broken world with God's boundless grace. He eventually graduated from Columbia International University, where he earned a degree in philosophy, and Reformed Theological Seminary in Orlando, where he earned his Master of Divinity degree. At Rock Recovery Center, we take a humanistic approach to recovery, teaching our clients how to live independently in a sober world. We care about the success and safety of each and every one of our clients from the moment they step into our center to the future of their well-being. Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [05:15] Tullian speaks about his background and history. [08:47] He ended his life of enjoyable freedom from his parents and school at age 21. [10:14] Tulian finds out that he needs to go back to God to find purpose. [15:39] How his world came crashing down during his first divorce. [17:20] His second wife Stacey and how she was the cornerstone of his recovery. [23:48] The activities Tullian used to fill the void of his life. [25:20] Tullian's views on why God is in your life even though you may not feel his presence. [27:45] How shifting blame from himself to others played a role in his recovery. [31:00] The moment he recognized his freedom for himself. [38:38] God works with everyone, including "messy" people. [43:00] How Tullian approaches people that don't buy Christianity. [50:26] "The only qualification to be a part of Christianity is to admit that you're not qualified." [51:25] His experience with his younger brother, Antony and Antony's battle with addiction. [55:14] Tullian says "The best people to lead a recovery center are former addicts." [58:07] Pastors could get farther and reach more people in their ministry if they were transparent about their shortcomings. Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions Visit Tullian on the web Tulian.net Twitter TullianT Facebook TullianT Instagram TullianTch Listen to his podcast The Sanctuary

Alex Uslar is the manager of the Hybrid Gym and the Director of Operations for the online company Hybrid Performance Method. Alex is a powerlifting, weight lifting, and crossfit coach. The Hybrid Performance Method is a virtual gym that provides accessible, affordable, and effective online workout programs to athletes of all skill and experience levels. In this episode, we talk about Alex's journey and how he used nutrition and working out to stay sober. Like many addicts, Alex had a rough start and turned to alcohol and drugs. Unlike many, he discovered what he wanted to do at a young age. He was then able to harness that desire and use it as fuel for sobriety. We talk about his journey and how he was able to turn his experience into a positive. Show Notes [02:47] Alex is 26 years old, and he just had his 7 years sobriety date. [02:59] He was born in South Florida and moved to Pensacola when he was 4 years old. [03:15] When he was 13, he moved to Miami. [03:44] He had some emotional and psychological abuse when he was younger. [04:13] He was expelled from private school, and he started public school in the middle of the year. [04:47] It only took two or three days before kids tried to sell him drugs. [05:06] He started smoking marijuana. [05:31] There are people who drink super heavily in the punk rock scene. They're also the straight edge kids. [05:49] Things escalated after 8th grade for him. [06:51] His parents are from Venezuela. [07:18] His family left Venezuela when things got really bad, but his dad stayed over there. [08:01] Ben and Tom see a lot of clients who have had instability in their lives when they were young. [09:12] From 13 to 19, Alex's entire life revolved around music and partying. [10:51] Alex wouldn't change or trade anything that he went through, because without that he wouldn't be where he is now. [12:49] He dropped out of school and in the process, he got arrested. The counseling he had to go through helped him a lot. [17:09] He still went down a super destructive path. When he was 19, he wanted to get his act together. [20:29] The catalyst for him was getting a DM from an older punk rocker who owned a gym. They had similar stories and signing up for the gym was his first day sober. [21:23] He even realized that he wanted to work at a gym. [21:53] Staying sober and staying mentally strong and going to the gym was one of the hardest things he did. He had to relearn how to live. [25:34] He was given an opportunity to do an unpaid internship at the gym. The owner was his mentor in sobriety and coaching. He eventually became one of the head coaches. [32:06] Follow your passion if you work hard, you have the opportunity to rewrite the script. [32:46] Taking steps forward can be uncomfortable. [33:56] Alex became an extrovert as he learned how to sell gym memberships. There weren't any promises that he would get hired. He still worked hard and kept getting more and more work. [35:44] He ended up with the most personal training clients and made more money than anybody at the gym. [36:32] He showed so much ambition and desire that he kept growing and growing until h maximized his abilities and income. [38:52] Alex left his mentor's gym in 2017 to go work for Hybrid. [40:18] They talked three or four days ago. [45:18] People come and go in life sometimes. [47:16] Utilizing fitness and nutrition in sobriety. Alex feels people need something to rely on. [49:39] He believes that you control your thoughts and your actions. [52:06] At the end of the day, we are all trying to get to a better place. [53:58] If you don't want to look for a higher power, find a higher purpose. [55:46] Alex got sober by working out. [57:44] He loved seeing his clients transform. Now his social media following has grown. Links and Resources: Hybrid Performance Method Alex Uslar on Instagram The OK Podcast by Tom Boyden & Jujimufu Stefi Cohen & Alex Uslar

Today, I'll be talking about how to handle talking to your loved one to find out if they have a problem with addiction. Parents can have denial about their children's addiction, and family members may not recognize signs of addiction. Find out how you can recognize the signs of addiction and what language to use in the delicate conversation of talking to your loved one who may be addicted to drugs and alcohol. How we frame our message in the conversation is important, such as, "I want to allow you to get help." Be patient and don't demand that they reach out for help. It is a privilege to be able to have the resources to obtain assistance to become clean. However, many times the addict doesn't want to become clean and sober, even if they can participate in a rehab center. Be tactful when approaching your loved one. Make sure to have guidance on how to have this conversation. Create an open conversation to not push your child or loved one away from moving them towards recovery. Also, make sure to have options that you have vetted put into place before you speak with your loved one. If they agree to be treated, you want to keep that momentum going and have options already in place to offer to them. The next step should be readily available, and they should be ready to go within 24 hours of agreeing to treatment. If they refuse, use leverage points to make them uncomfortable and want to go. For example, if you provide a car, home, food, cell phone, or other necessity, take it away until they decide to recover. When you provide these things for them, it is easier for them to use their cash to buy drugs or alcohol. At Rock Recovery Center, we take a humanistic approach to recovery, teaching our clients how to live independently in a sober world. We care about the success and safety of each and every one of our clients from the moment they step into our center to the future of their well-being. Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [03:45] The difficulty of navigating talking to your children about addiction. [04:57] Does your child recognize that they have an issue with drugs or alcohol? [06:30] The privilege to have the resources to get clean and sober. [08:07] How to phrase your concerns - words to use and not to use. [12:10] Be ready with treatment options so as not to put time in between your loved one agreeing and going to treatment. [14:26] What to say when they refuse treatment. [19:45] Don't go into a conversation being hostile. Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

Ben and I talk to Sean, who works for Behave and Detox here in South Florida in today's episode. He is here to share his story of addiction and his recovery process. Sean shares what to look for in a detox center and details about the detox process. Born in the Bronx, Sean moved to Brooklyn with his mom when his parents separated. Brooklyn was a tough place filled with violent crime, drugs, and alcohol - similar to his household. Today, his father has over 30 years of sobriety, and Sean follows in his footsteps. His mother was physically violent with him from an early age. "What I got as corporal punishment back then is considered child abuse now." He didn't get into drugs or selling drugs because he was too afraid of his mother beating him. At 12, Sean developed addictive behaviors as drugs and alcohol were easy to hold in his town. "That was when crack had first come out, and I rarely went to school in the 8th grade. He was offered his first drug in junior high during 6th grade. "When I really got in trouble in the neighborhood, my mother decided to take me out of there." He and his mother moved to Florida for a better life when he was 14. Once in Florida, he started doing drugs and alcohol. Every summer, he would visit his family in New York without rules or boundaries. An addict at 18, he had to change high schools five times before receiving his diploma. His mother wanted him to go to community college. "I said, save your money, I'm going to a party. That's what I wanted to do because that's all my friends did." Getting into the plumbing industry at the age of 22, he quickly spent his money on drugs and alcohol. As per tradition, apprentices in the union didn't pay for alcohol at the bar. For five years, he never paid for a bar tab. "That was the deal, Thursday at lunch we'd cash our paychecks, we'd go to the bar, and I'd drink for free. Then I'd go home and have my own party." Listen in to find out why Sean was constantly drinking and drugging, how he made excuses for not going to rehab and the events that led him to check in to rehab for the first time at the age of 33. At Rock Recovery Center, we take a humanistic approach to recovery, teaching our clients how to live independently in a sober world. We care about the success and safety of each and every one of our clients from the moment they step into our center to the future of their well-being. Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [04:51] Sean gives his background history. [06:15] He describes what it was like growing up in Brooklyn in the 80s. [07:35] How Sean was introduced to drugs at the age of 12. [10:01] When he was offered his first drug in sixth grade. [13:53] Sean's life after high school graduation. [16:50] Getting into his 30's as a full-blown addict and alcoholic. [17:33] Events that led Sean to realize he needed to go to rehab. [24:15] What happened after Sean left rehab. [29:10] Sean's fourth attempt at sobriety with only two weeks available to him in rehab. [31:16] Ben gives his perspective on Sean's story. [36:06] How Sean's role has changed in his new life. [40:36] Why AA was the best thing that happened in Sean's life. [43:53] Distinguishing "the life" from recovery. [46:46] Why Sean didn't know how to live. Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

In today's episode, I talk to Jeremy about his story of addiction. He has decided to be a guest today to inspire others to also start their journey to sobriety. This is Jeremy's eighth attempt at sobriety and learning to live a clean life. Jeremy is now medically retired from the army at age 39 as a result of PTSD. He served our nation for nine years, starting at age 23. Brought up in Concord, North Carolina, Jeremy was a household child who taught respect and manners. He grew up with two siblings, an older brother, and a younger sister. "My childhood was really great. I was involved in baseball, football, and dirt bike racing." He remembers his friends not having the same solid family foundation, so his parents would take them under their wing and support his friends. At the age of five, however, Jeremy was sexually molested by a member of his church. He wasn't sure how to handle this emotional trauma. As a result, his teen years were an emotional turmoil as his previous trauma bubbled to the surface. His doctors prescribed him anti-anxiety, antidepressants, and sleep medications. "It progressed from there, I just started numbing myself out. Even at that young of an age, I would abuse benzos." He quickly found out that he could "reach for a substance for comfort" early in his life. "About 16 years old, I started drinking with my girlfriend and drinking with friends." From this teen experience, he evolved to keg parties with high school kids. At this point, he also experimented with cocaine. At 18, a friend introduced him to oxycontin. He soon realized this type of drug took away his social awkwardness and made him feel more comfortable around people. Jeremy went back and forth with his addiction until, at age 20, he went to a methadone clinic for a year. From this point, he decided to get clean on his own. At age 23, he talked to an army recruiter as he liked the aspect of military life, and "I knew that's what I wanted to do once I got sober." Listen in to find out why Jeremy's growth was stagnant on methadone treatment, how he became addicted again through his military experience, and why Jeremy believes in healing physically and spiritually. At Rock Recovery Center, we take a humanistic approach to recovery, teaching our clients how to live independently in a sober world. We care about the success and safety of each and every one of our clients from the moment they step into our center to the future of their well-being. Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [04:14] Jeremy gives listeners a bit of background about his story. [06:59] He talks about his younger, formative childhood years. [08:47] Jeremy talks about how he learned his addictive behavior from using doctor prescribed medications. [11:44] The feelings he has had to deal with as a result of his childhood trauma. [13:27] Part of his addiction is genetic as his father was an alcoholic. [15:30] Two weeks after first trying oxycontin, Jeremy was addicted. [18:43] Jeremy's experience taking methadone. [23:49] What happened to Jeremy when he enlisted in the military. [25:56] Factors that led to Jeremy staying clean for seven years. [27:47] Advice Jeremy gives to addicts looking to join the military to overcome addiction. [32:44] The army substance abuse program and how the military treats addicts. [37:49] Why Jeremy is grateful for his battle with addiction. [40:26] Biggest contributing factors for Jeremy moving forward. [44:00] His plans for his new future. [45:30] Words of encouragement to others who are looking to get freedom from their addiction. Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

In today's episode, Ben and I talk to Kat, who shares her experiences, the strength she found in her recovery, and the hope she has for her future. Kat's home is in Louisiana, and she is a current resident at Rock Recovery Center. At 32, Kat's second attempt at recovery, with her previous attempt at a different location. Kat started using at the age of 15 and quickly chose heroin as her drug of choice. Much of her drug use has been with family and friends, such as her mother and younger sister. Her mother denies that she is addicted, however; she supports Kat in her journey to become free of drug use. Drugs are a normalized part of her family life. In her 17 years of addiction, she has experienced the same detox treatment center ten times, and one other recovery center in addition to her stay here at Rock Recovery Center. If you or your loved one has been to numerous treatment centers, and you are wondering why you can't come clean of your addiction, many times, it's the person's mindset that is preventing them from coming clean of their dependency. To successfully move through treatment, you or your loved one needs to be there because you want to be free of your habit. After being arrested and thrown in jail, Kat came to the realization that she would either be spending a lot of time in jail unless she could free herself of drugs. She understood, "I would get my kids back, I would get my family back, I'll get everything I want back if I put my mind to it and do it!" Parents and families ask us, "when do we throw in the towel on people and give up," and the fact is that we never give up to get an addict free of their habit. We consistently reach out to potential clients to see when they are ready to join others in their journey to freedom and a better life. Listen in to find out how the Rock Recovery Center has surpassed Kat's expectations, the benefits of treatment at Rock, and how her support system has been key to Kat's recovery. At Rock Recovery Center, we take a humanistic approach to recovery, teaching our clients how to live independently in a sober world. We care about the success and safety of each and every one of our clients from the moment they step into our center to the future of their well-being. Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [04:24] Kat talks about her using history and how she became addicted to drugs. [08:45] Ben explains how family dynamics play a role in recovery. [12:23] Her first experience at a detox center in 2012. [14:12] Reflecting back on her previous detox attempts. [16:29] The stages of change in the detox process. [17:35] Kat's moment when she had her mindset shift in recovery. [20:36] She talks about the exhaustion of constantly being around negative influences as a result of doing drugs. [23:15] Lying as a social norm of an addict's life. [25:26] How Kat's experience has surpassed her expectations. [27:22] Her experience at Rock and what she has really enjoyed about her stay. [30:45] Comparing Rock Recovery treatment center to other plans of treatment. [33:26] How Kat stayed off of narcotic drugs post-surgery. [38:00] Hospital stay experiences when you are in active addiction. [42:00] Ben and I reflect on Kat's amazing progress at Rock Recovery Center! Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

In today's episode, Ben and I talk with Vince, a 25-year-old recovering addict from Philadelphia. He stole a bottle of vodka and drank the entire bottle in sixth grade. In the summer of his freshman year of high school, Vince started smoking pot. Cocaine became a weekend sports celebration during his junior year of high school. Vince became an addict after his team coach gave him a prescription narcotic drug in his second college year. Vince was involved in sports as early as he could remember. His family consisted of three sisters, one of the older and two of them younger than him. Both of his parents were supportive of him and good, hard-working people. "Growing up, I was instilled with morals and values." He was brought up to respect elders, women, and to have good social manners. "I remember going to this fight in third grade. Everybody started cursing and fighting. Immediately after that, I said my first curse word, then I went home and started watching fighting videos." He isn't sure if this one incident brought him down a negative road, but his life was very different after this experience. The next year in fourth grade, he ended up getting kicked out of school for fighting. "I was fighting and cursing and doing things kids that age shouldn't be doing." He felt a purpose playing sports as he was always asked to play with the older kids in the next league up. "Everything on the outside just mattered so much, and I thought that was who I was. I thought that I was based on all external things." However, if anything went wrong, he immediately turned to anger and aggression, which he remembers his father modeling for him at an early age. His school discipline record was horrible. However, the school let him slide because of his athletic abilities. Vince remembers not having any consequences for fighting during his high school years. This enabled him to continue this behavior, along with smoking pot with his friends. Listen in as Vince tells his story of how he lost his scholarship to Rutgers, what happened when he became addicted to opiate drugs, and his multiple attempts at getting sober. At Rock Recovery Center, we take a humanistic approach to recovery, teaching our clients how to live independently in a sober world. We care about the success and safety of each and every one of our clients from the moment they step into our center to the future of their well-being. Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [03:09] Vince talks about his past experiences growing up in Philadelphia. [07:11] His first experience drinking in sixth grade. [13:33] Social acceptance and drug culture. [15:21] Personal identity associated with career for men. [18:25] Vince had his first experience with opiate drugs his senior year in high school. [19:45] He started stealing from his family to buy more opiate drugs. [25:11] The "Florida Shuffle" moving on from the treatment facility to another facility. [28:40] Ben talks about the incredible recovery culture in Florida. [33:10] Why Vince having his daughter wasn't enough to keep him sober. [37:01] Sobriety and addiction and how these two can easily interchange. [40:13] What is different for Vince in this recovery process? [43:42] His biggest fears for the recovery process. [45:27] Vince's spiritual AA experience. Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

In today's episode, Ben and I talk with Nick, a client here at Rock Recovery Center. Nick originates from Cleveland, Ohio, and this is his first time in recovery at the age of 27. Listen in to this episode to find out how he became addicted to drugs at 11. At a very young age, his first experience was smoking pot at age 11 and had his first drink at 12. Nick is close to his sister, whom he spent many afternoons after school hanging out. Nick followed his dad, playing the same sports. His father was "more of a coach than a dad," coaching Nick in the sports he participated in as young as age three. His father always pushed him to be good at what he did in life. He also remembers his father hiding alcohol bottles around the house and drinking for hours by himself in the garage. In addition, Nick's dad would pass out in the hallway, drunk in the hotels, at sporting competitions. His mother is clean and has never been addicted to drugs. At 13, Nick was in a fight and had several teeth knocked out. This led him to take narcotic pain medication. He quickly realized that taking a pain killer was a release from the physical pain from playing multiple sports. His parents did not monitor his pain medication and worked full-time. At 16, he had teeth pulled and had narcotics prescribed. Nick's doctor trusted he would take the narcotics as directed and is the reason he is addicted to drugs. When he moved out of his house at 17 to play hockey, he moved in with three guys addicted to pain medication from multiple sports injuries. Nick brought the pot, and his friend came with narcotic drugs. Drugs ended up being a commonality between the two for the next four years. He was kicked out of college and lost his scholarship. At this point, Nick returned home and went to community college and worked at a car dealership. Daily drinking eventually turned into a "game," where he and his friend would binge drink driving home from work. Nick finally realized that he needed help when his daughter was born, and he couldn't spend time with her because he needed to use drugs. At Rock Recovery Center, we take a humanistic approach to recovery, teaching our clients how to live independently in a sober world. We care about the success and safety of each and every one of our clients from the moment they step into our center to the future of their well-being. Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [04:07] Nick introduces himself and talks about how he became addicted. [08:03] He didn't like drinking when he was young, but had his first drink at 12. [12:02] The progression of Nick's addiction from the age of 16. [15:40] Nick's college experience. [21:39] What led Nick to seek help at Rock Recovery Center. [27:24] COVID hit and he stopped going to his recovery meetings back home. [31:59] Nick talks about the relapse that moved him into recovery. [35:17] Ben tells how hard he works to stay sober ten years after he stopped using. [36:54] Recovery expectations when Nick came in the center. [41:23] Tom's challenge to Nick in recovery. Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

In today's episode, Ben and I will talk about how addicts can get accustomed to the lifestyle of alcohol and drugs. It's often problematic for addicts to comprehend how to live a "normal" life without the use of illegal substances. Ben and I are both AA graduates, and our experience of sobriety results from working hard to successfully complete the 12 steps of sobriety outlined in AA. This work brought a spiritual foundation into my life, and this is what my sobriety hinges on today. There are multiple modalities and programs in which you can find sobriety, the 12 step program being one program. If this program doesn't work for you, please seek out a drug and alcohol program that appeals to you and gives you hope. Whatever way you choose, sobriety is your goal. The fruits of sobriety will give your life the positive change you are looking for to live a better life. In section 83 of the AA book, there is a section titled "The Nine-Step Promises." One promise, "We are going to find new freedom and a new happiness." Freedom and happiness are different for each person. Freedom can be relief from feeling the physical trauma to feeling mentally free from the reliance on addiction. Serenity and peace are two other aspects we are focusing on today. When you acquire these two feelings, you are OK sitting by yourself, without anxiety, want, or fear. Conflict resolution is a large part of achieving these two qualities for yourself. There are tools we learn to create change within ourselves or our situation, even if we can't change the world around us. These tools lead to achieving peace and serenity inside ourselves. The Big Book talks about the fear of uselessness and self-pity. When you feel like you don't amount to anything, self-pity creeps into your life. You may feel like you will never have a family, go to college, or be happy. This is a destructive cycle for addicts, which disappears when you become clean. Some grapple with the higher power aspect of AA. If a "higher power" isn't in your life, you can also shoot for a higher purpose. What is your purpose? Find a positive change to make in someone else's life. When you are sober, your outlook on life will change because your mind will clear, and you will see situations differently. At Rock Recovery Center, we take a humanistic approach to recovery, teaching our clients how to live independently in a sober world. We care about the success and safety of each and every one of our clients from the moment they step into our center to the future of their well-being. Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [03:17] Imagining a life without drugs and alcohol is hard to comprehend for addicts. [05:18] No matter what your substance is, what you need to move forward is a design for living. [06:55] The Nine-Step Promises that AA lists in their book. [10:07] There is no true freedom when we are tied to another substance. [13:19] Learning conflict resolution to achieve peace and serenity. [18:00] Fear of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. [22:51] Higher power and higher purpose. [26:19] The root of our problems is selfishness and self-centeredness. [27:44] Attitude and outlook on life will change when you become sober. [32:52] Read the big book from AA to find out more aspects of your life that can change when you become sober. Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions

In today's episode, Ben and I discuss the turning point when a newly sober client can start to make decisions for themselves. In the beginning, the person in recovery will be assigned a sponsor who is there for support and answering questions. Along the process, there's become a point in time that the person who is healing needs to become more independent and start to create change for themselves. Working with thousands of people through the recovery process, Ben and I see many different cases. We receive feedback from clients and become a sounding board for those in recovery. A vast majority of the time, we will confirm that the sponsor gives the patient sound advice. However, the individual moving through the healing process needs to take the responsibility of making their own decisions. Even though Ben is almost ten years sober, he still utilizes his support circle when he is in a challenging situation or bad day. In the end, Ben makes his own decisions for himself, but having a good, solid support group to assist you in your decision making is very important to stay on your path of sobriety. A sponsor's responsibility is no longer just taking someone through the steps. A client is calling with many different issues for advice from their sponsor. There is a progression of questioning where at first, clients are asking for almost anything. However, there should be situations where someone can take an independent step on their own. Growth will enable someone to become an independent decision-maker. Developing a GOD Power or the ability to deliver Good Orderly Direction gives you the ability to consciously figuring out problems on your own. By taking inventory of your behaviors, through the practice of working the program, and learning how to make situations right, you develop your skills to become an independent person. At Rock Recovery Center, we take a humanistic approach to recovery, teaching our clients how to live independently in a sober world. We care about the success and safety of each and every one of our clients from the moment they step into our center to the future of their well-being. Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review! Show Notes: [03:45] Ben's experiences with clients who want to rely solely on their sponsor for help. [06:55] When you should be making your own decisions and not relying on someone else to make your decisions for you. [08:20] Ben and his sponsor relationship. [09:40] An example of bouncing ideas off of a sponsor for advice. [13:19] A sponsor's responsibility to their charge. [14:33] Dating another person who is going through recovery. [15:37] The progression scale of learning how to become an independent decision maker. [17:35] Developing GOD Power - Good Orderly Direction. [18:32] Step ten of the 12 Step Program. [19:57] The importance of having a clear outcome. [21:10] Looking at failure as an opportunity to learn. [22:04] Giving sober supports too much power in your life. [25:17] Sponsors need to give their charges the opportunity to have experiences in life. Episode Links and Resources Real Recovery Live Chat Real Recovery Talk on the Web Real Recovery Talk on YouTube Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes Rock Recovery Center Real Recovery Talk on Facebook Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com Podcast editing and show notes by Pro Podcast Solutions