Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Merry Jeansmas!Hope you all are snuggling and kissing and drinking cocoa by the fire. We have a baby jeans and will be doing all that, gurl. This episode has magic: enemas, OMG Maria, Top Dog, Kim Ahn breaking it down HARD CORE, Would You Rather's and a whole lot more. Please be safe and allow denim into your heart. Please support our sponsors - MeUndies.com/mom and BlueApron.com/mom Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is Baby Jeans here?! You'll just have to listen to find out!What happens when you get AIDS from someone and you see them on public transit? You gotta call them out, yo! RIP Greg GiraldoPlus the KING has been in hiding for a while and now we have confirmation that he's BACK! And Tommy insists that his DJing will pay off in the future, I mean, listen to what Paris Hilton is doing. You get to decide if its good.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What a Jeanstastic episode! The FedEx controversy RAGES on! Tommy has some damning evidence that may turn Christina's pronunciation on it's head. Um, do we have an exclusive interview with Throatzilla aka Orally Gifted? Yes, yes jeans we do! Also important Steven Segal update. Fill her up and seal her shut! What a BIG DAY! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Bond, Jeans Bond is the name or perhaps you're more familiar with Double 0 Denim as I'm known inside these walls. The mommies have a spectacular bonus clip of the new Bond movie and you are sure to love it. Plus is a white boy claiming to be a crip the real deal or is he frontin in a red hat?We have the Farsi voicemails translated, the lamest dude ever in porn and a call from Tommy's Uncle BillYou got that sauce, mane? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy HatesGiving, MOMMY! As is tradition on this show we'll do our best to offend you for the holiday! Do you have an incurable neurological disorder? Is English not your first language? Do you not look like us? Do you live somewhere that isn't Los Angeles? Hopefully we hit you below the belt!The Persian Lady who has left Tina countless messages about the desert and sharia laws has, you guessed it, left MORE messages. What the hell is she saying in Farsi?!?We encourage you to EAT WHAT YOU WANT for Thanksgiving. Is turkey not your thing? Push back against the man and get a steak or a hot dog - whatever you desire, Mommy.PLUS we have audio of TINA SNORING (LOUDLY), a crazy escort talks about her "job" AND a HUGE announcement that involves Tommy and one of the greatest rappers of ALL TIME.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yo Chuck! Yo, You got AIDS, YO! Aw, Damn, kid. Hope you got your Jimmy Hat.Tommy's done with the road for 2016, but he brought Guess My Brown home from the Big City! Will Tina guess correctly?Bunz has an idea for a new business to help support our growing family. If you need a nail trimming, please don't cut them! We're coming over. Plus fashion has never been Tommy's strong suit and he's apparently really owning that now. Jeans has something to say about Bunzies new apparel. And she rocked your world with last weeks Yellow/Brown/Yellow revelation. This week, Tina has a NEW insight into how browns and yellows sometimes mix.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Christina guesses Tom's brown! And a surprise game! Dunkin' Doughnuts vs Krispy Kreme. What side are the mommies on? Rachel Dolezal and Tamar Braxton. Tina has new voicemails and texts on her phone. The joys of a new phone number. If you borrow $20 from Linda, you'd better pay her back ASAP! Is Shaq hanging with Chuck Woolery? The most annoying girl in social media and more! Enjoy mommies.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you mad at your Mommy? Well, let her know! DJ Dad Mouth is working on his mad beatz and skillz. Is there really a lady out there wanting to lick Tom's b-hole? Turns out yes, yes there is. Christina is being challenged on her inventing the term "POS". Can she explain her way out of this one? Also, Mommy C raises a question that brings her to tears. Would You Rathers! Tom gives his insight into the new Matt Damon film.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you’re feeling hungry we have just the thing for you - a very special PICNIC. Make sure you bring your appetite because this is the kind of picnic that lets you keep on eating! Did Christina come up with an expression that is very popular in our vernacular or has it been around for more than a decade? It’s time to break it down. Plus Tommy has seen Christina flirt for long enough with the mailman and the Whole Farts check out boy. Could he be getting to know a super market girl as more than a friend??!?!? Diego AKA Thursday Lane set the podcast world on fire, but some people are saying “Too Much!” What will YOU say when he marries a fart? Guess My Brown debuts and an NFL players has something to say about the Cincinnati Fart , you know what I’m saying? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you smell those jeans is when I feel the strongest. Those and of course grey sweatpants. We missed you and this episode is almost a day late, but we promise that it's worth it. Of course there's porn being played in various California Target stores, but of course the Mommies have a good plan on how this rascal can up his game. Plus more fun sex audio and rap songs that are simply delightful. But we know why you're here this week and quite simply, yes, we have Diego AKA Thursday Lane and people are eager to help him smell man butt for hours and hours. It's all in these Jeans.    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices