Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

There are good shows as a comedian and there are great shows. Sometimes there are bad shows and then there's this. In Tommy's near 12 year career as a stand up he has had the full spectrum of shows, but nothing quite compares to the Massacre in Manitoba. In this episode we fully examine everything that went into a show going so far off the rails that Tommy had to leave before it was over. We play highlights - if you can call them that - and talk about some of our worst shows ever. In keeping with the Canadian theme we revisit Rob Ford and update you on what he's been eating.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When a mommy is missing it isn't truly Your Mom's House, so this episode is unofficially Your Aunt's House, but boy does Auntie get down! Fan-favorite and dear friend, Bert "The Machine" Kreischer joins Tom for the first LIVE video podcast from the MommyDome. We talk about sharing death news with people, Bert's new show, getting to know Vanilla Ice, a follow up on The Dick Detectives, dealing with our anxiety, and more! We laugh our Mommy dicks off! RIP MCA Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Wussup playa! Wut you gonna get dat gurl for Chrissmas? We hope you got all the denim that you asked Sandy Claws for and we hope you got nothing but denim from all your loved ones. We have many special gifts for you this episode. Fan favorite, but rare guest, ARPAD is back! Yup, Tina's dad and everything that annoys him is on the phone doing what he does best - calling out all Bull S**T. Advertisers, BEWARE. CP's pops is not falling for your gimmicks. Actually he is fully rebelling against them. He is also NOT A FAN of political correctness. At all. It's not Happy Holidays to him. It's Merry Christmas or GFYS. If his tirade doesn't convince you, we also have Top Dog speaking in eerily similar fashion. Plus, Aunty FeeFee, the 69 Boyz, Dominic the Donkey and a whole lot MORE! (Santa's Evles??? Maybe). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're a big dog how about you play with dogs your size, you stupid, selfish inconsiderate C**T. But if you're a dog you might not know where you are playing because DO DOGS EVEN HAVE BRAINS?!? We investigate. Loud, gay sex sounds and terrifying and hilarious. Since we didn't get you the SF Bonus ep, we give it to you here! Groan more! A big, BURNING Dental Update will have you smiling wide and this time we get TOP DOG and CHARO on ONE call. Can you believe your wiping luck? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mo "Mohan" Mandel also known as the Jewish Ghandi in the comedy world is our guest and he is 16 t*ts worth of fun! A prolific writer, Mandel tells us you can also be a successful writer if you REALLY want it, but if you REALLY want to be a great baseball player, well, that's too bad. Mo also tells us about his hilarious, Northern-California upbringing that included anal sex, anxiety, open relationship, and Mo's "indie rocker" faze. Mo also shares a great story about Jim Gaffigan throwing down in a comedy club - something we've all wanted to do (beat people, not tell a story about it). Dental Update, Julio Iglesias and more! Don't act like yo bootie fat if it isn't!! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

TMZ ain't got S**T on your mommies! We welcome actress, tweeter, and hilarious writer Jenny Mollen aka @jennyandteets into the Mommydome for lots of laughs and general tomfoolery. Real Talk gets really real with more of Big Ang and we get the inside scoop on Jenny's favorite show, The Bachelorette, complete with tons of ridiculous audio. Most noteworthy of all we play Dick Detectives with Jenny and who is the suspect? Her husband - Jason Biggs! (HINT: It isn't small). If that's not enough for you then you go away! Enjoy!PS. The voice that pops in a few times is Jenny's very hungover friend, Leslie.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

J-J-J-J-J Jeans Unit! Hello, meow. Thanks for getting that new fall line of denim for this episode. We wear our jeans at eye level on this one. Crack can make you cry and by cry, we mean, that's hilarious. The ORIGINAL MOMMY, Charo gets on the phone and tells us a story that will have you begging for even MORE MOMMY. We discuss the possibility that Top Dog is a true killer and Maria reveals news that is so big, so mind blowing we don't think the world is ready for it. Get ready for an epic episode. Peace, God.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So many different pairs of jeans, but only 2 legs! Tommy and Tina tell you what it means to "Shirley" yourself - WARNING: You may not be ready! A new show finds its way into our REAL TALK segment and it has so much BULLSH*T in it, you may have to Wipe Down after listening. We examine the nervous laughter and what it means, and TOP DOG drops brown and knowledge on you in ways you may have never imagined. We're going to go ahead and call this one an instant classic.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our philosophy has always been push as hard as you can until it hurts and then tell us about it - and you did! Your poop triggers are fascinating and unique. STOP THE PRESS - Stevie has been sighted in Nashville! This is HUGE news. Please, if you are in the Nashville area approach with caution and let Stevie know that the mommies are coming to town! You gotta take care of your FEETSIES. You're saying a lot if your toes are all mashed up and flakey. Hands too. I guess Tommy is freakin out man cause his fingers are ALL chewey! Ewwwwww. Plus a huge video reveal: IFartInYoFace is the King A** Ripper and we celebrate his gift with all of you. All others bow in his presence or face his wrath (from his butthole)! Get a whiff of that! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW BOW! Poetry comes in so many different forms. BAM BAM BAM BAM. See? That was some good stuff right there too. Your Mom's House is FULLY CHARGED once again with Zen like comedy guru and all around denim approved guy, Matt Fulchiron. We cover lyricists and those who aren't as good, being an a**hole to land a woman, pregnancy scares when you're dating are even SCARIER! A VERY uncomfortable D**K Detectives - we get to the bottom of this mystery! Sharing a condo is a nightmare, Charles Ramsey and more!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices