Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

What's your parenting style? Shame, anger, guilt, all 3? Good for you. We welcome your form of abuse into our home. All forms of entertainment including sports are simply distractions. What's important is rarely discussed by the majority. We get into the thick of it and question why. Why do we ignore what's really significant? After this prolific philosophical question we soon have Top Dog on the phone to talk about poop. Tommy introduces TD to the Bristol Stool Scale and the results are magnificent. What was Da Vinci's reaction when he discovered a paintbrush? Very similar. If you ever have a problem with your food be sure to call 911. That's what it's for.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you don't like the way things are done at your school, do what our South African friend does and bring a whip. Make it a quick class, very quick class! The mommies recap their tour of the South and all the calories that came with it. Cheese and PISSA and wings. So, so, so many wings. We share the Ricky Schroder/Webster story from JRE as we still can't enough of that cute, little, black son of a bitch. Chuck Woolery has a pretty crazy twitter account. We read some of it and then play some of the classics from Love Connection. My goodness do we love that show. Put 2 and 2 in your butt. Plus we play audio of a man who is disappointed in his prostitute. It's horrifying! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There ain't no half-steppin' or half chargin nothing especially when your baby's daddy is in the house! The Full Charge, Matt Fulchiron is all up in the Dome. We catch up with our old comrade about bad music, loud crazy people on planes, and the wonder of pain that is having 2 or 3 in you. The NEW BIKES! shirt is here and we revisit the classic clip from Scared Straight. Plus the Top Dog call to end all calls??? It may never be topped and he admits to WIPING A CERTAIN WAY we didn't know about! Keep your jeans on and up for this one.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Before last Wednesday we honestly thought that Hilary Clinton was America's most polarizing figure, but we've learned that isn't the case. Perhaps no person has such a profoundly different affect on the American public than King A** Ripper AKA Gross Glutton Manners. The man who's farts can be heard around the world made some of you scream with laughter while other cried is complete disgust. We read your feedback as we prepare to do live shows in Texas. Learning isn't supposed to be fun. Stop being stupid, just learn like an adult. By reading. Books. Ladies, don't feel bad if your hangers flap around in the wind. Us guys still want whatever you got. Keep your chin and your jeans up.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The episode will teach you the two greatest things in life, "Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut." If that sounds like some real mafioso stuff, well, it is. This has to be one of the most fascinating episodes we've ever done. Our guest is comedian, writer and son of mobster, Tony Hinchcliffe AKA Tony Marsco AKA Tony Nickels AKA Tony Tip Toes. You'd never guess it but Hinchcliffe grew up the son of a mob boss father and bookie mother. HOW DO YOU NEED MORE INFO AFTER THAT?? We also revisit Angel and more of her secrets, but mostly this episode is everything Organized Crime. Put on your pressed jeans for this one. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can someone fit their D**K AND Balls into a woman at once? It's something we explore at length in this very special Friday release episode. If you haven't yet figured it out this episode is very much NSFW or for those of you that listen on speakers in public places - this audio will definitely lead to you getting fired or losing friends/family. If every one knows that you're bald then when you wear a wig we all know that's not your hair, Jason Alexander. Pretty girls will always be annoying if you allow them to be. When you ignore the stupidity that oozes out of their mouths you're helping them become more interesting. This is the secret to life.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You can survive on just air and sunlight and nothing else, but you'll die pretty quickly also. Tina makes a compelling argument for why she feels so strongly about being the MAIN Mommy - she HAS been farting on the show and put TURDS on the ground. Chuck Woolery listens to our show. We think. And he feels badly about being so GREEZY. Do you return the shopping cart to the store or do you leave it by your car like a jerkface? We revisit yelling when you're angry - it doesn't define who you are. It's human emotion, you f***ing f**k. Tina talks about her past City Connection love and Tom shares his brief experience with all that PWESSHAH!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Baby Jesus was born and so we celebrated and now we give you this: More laughs and good times with Canada's finest, Ian Bagg! We play amazing audio of two of the dumbest women alive - YEAH! Ian also shares what it's like to live where the sun never goes down - CRAZY. We talk about the state of comedy and we read the craziest email ever sent to us by one of Christina's family members! FYI - it's pretty offensive! Merry Christmas, bright light jeans! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

KABOOM! Guess who stepped in the room? TICAL! or YOSHI! Back with more of that ISH you just can't get enough. Our conversation with Yoshi was so loaded we HAD to split it up into TWO episodes. Here is more of what you came for, part 2 of Yoshi's return with a real "talking to" about prostitution. Get your jeans ready for a brand new belt! SUSHI! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some have had the never to criticise this show for being less than sophisticated. To those that have unflattering remarks about us we present to you Episode 141. The Mona Lisa, the Sistine Chapel, and now this very episode of Your Mom's House with all mentioned in the same breath. We examine the meaning of life, the purpose for which one exists and we might just have an answer to the question, "Is there a God?" Give this podcast a listen and you'll be pleased by what you hear. We also take more calls from our listeners about Love! Can you feel that? That's your jeans getting TIGHTER!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices