Your Secret Is Safe With Me

You should never try and fit yourself into a mold of someone else's preferences. But, deciding to go against societal norms can be challenging. So, how do you know if a big decision—such as opening up your relationship—will be worth it in the end? When Susan Wenzel decided to try nonmonogamy with her partner, she struggled with a range of difficult emotions before finding happiness. As she says, we can't know what the future holds, but we are responsible for our choices—including how we choose to perceive our circumstances. By taking responsibility for what she could control and letting go of the things she couldn't, Susan achieved greater happiness, freedom, and growth, both in and out of her relationship. Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she sits down with Susan Wenzel, a Certified Sex Therapist and Relationship Expert, to discuss life outside of monogamy. Susan shares her personal experience transitioning to an open marriage and explains how she helps couples navigate various nonmonogamous relationships. Plus, Dr. Murphy and Susan talk about the power of letting go of the things that prevent you from being happy. Stay tuned.

Recovering from an affair is a difficult and emotional process. From dealing with shame to deciding whether or not to move forward, many couples aren't sure of how to begin healing. Wouldn't it be helpful if there was someone you could turn to for guidance on your journey to a new and stronger relationship? After working with couples who were recovering from infidelity, Idit Sharoni realized that what they needed most was a roadmap to healing—so she created one. Although the path isn't necessarily linear, Idit helps couples embark upon their journey with an actionable plan. According to her, there are steps that every couple can take to increase their relationship's chances for survival and even build something stronger than what they had before. Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she sits down with Idit Sharoni, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, to discuss how couples can heal after an affair. Idit describes the steps involved in her roadmap to recovery, what couples can do to increase the chances of saving their marriage, and how to determine whether you're ready to begin the next chapter in your relationship. Stay tuned!

Most people would agree that your partner can't fill every role in your life, but what happens when they're unwilling to explore your sexual desires? If you love your spouse and don't want to break up your family, do you simply accept going without and learn to live with suppressing your sexual needs? After spending years repressing her sexual desires and coping with feelings of rejection in her marriage, Nikki S. concluded that it was her responsibility to fulfill her own needs. So, she decided to start a "double life" and seek sexual fulfillment elsewhere. But, before pursuing a secret affair, Nikki made sure she was clear on her goals and had a strong safety plan in place. Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she sits down with Nikki S. to discuss the risks and rewards of having a secret affair. Nikki describes the emotional toll of being rejected by her husband, the empowerment she felt when starting an affair, and what happens when the emotional boundaries we set for ourselves don't work. Plus, Nikki offers some practical advice on protecting your anonymity and staying safe. Stay tuned!

Affairs can be intoxicating, but they can also leave you feeling confused and ashamed once the excitement wears off. So, why do people cheat, and what makes an affair difficult to end? And, once you've been caught in your lie, how can you salvage your relationship? A lot of the answers for why we do what we do can be traced back to the chemicals flooding our brains. Much like being under the influence of a drug, our chemical response to a new or elicit relationship can make it difficult to see things clearly—and it can take time for the reality of a situation to fully set in. However, according to Dr. Tammy Nelson, even if you've cheated, you still have plenty of choices for how to move forward. As she suggests, there are ways to rebuild your relationship in the aftermath of an affair, but you may need to start with a whole new foundation. Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she sits down with Sex and Relationship Expert, Dr. Tammy Nelson. Together, they discuss why affairs are often so exciting, the brain chemicals that influence how we interpret new relationships, and the importance of revisiting your monogamy contract after someone cheats. Plus, Dr. Nelson offers scientific insight into why people lie and provides advice on what to do if you're the one cheating. Stay tuned.

Getting out of an abusive relationship is extremely difficult, but the work doesn't end there—not if you truly want to revitalize and reinvent your life. But, where do you begin when you're ready to start over? Alta M. Felix understands how difficult it is to move on and begin to heal after surviving trauma. She has experienced firsthand what it's like to rebuild after leaving an abusive relationship, and now she wants to help other women let go of the past and work toward a better future. With her strategies and techniques, you can overcome your trauma and start pursuing a life full of self-love, trust, and confidence. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy is joined by Altagracia (Alta) M. Felix, a Certified Money Coach (CMC), Trauma Mentor, and the CEO of R2E. Together, they talk about how you can take back control of your life after an abusive relationship and acknowledge your trauma without letting it trap you. Alta also shares some tips for rebuilding trust, learning how to forgive, and keeping the past out of your new relationships. Stay tuned!

All relationships change over time, but how often do you renegotiate the rules surrounding them? What happens when a long and happy marriage becomes sexless? Do you have options beyond ending the marriage or compromising your needs? After spending time in therapy with her husband trying to deal with their differing sex drives, Janine came up with a solution. Instead of throwing away her entire marriage over one missing part, she decided to outsource that one aspect to save the rest. Now, she is in a satisfying affair and her marriage is even happier than before. Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she sits down with Janine to discuss how having an affair helped save her marriage. Janine explains why she decided to have an affair and how she navigated an agreement with her husband. She also shares what it's like to seek out a partner using Ashley Madison, the strategies she deploys for managing her emotions, and what she's learned about relationships and herself along the way. Stay tuned!

Money is a taboo subject in any situation—but when it comes to relationships, talking about finances can feel downright impossible. With financial stress being one of the top causes of divorce, it's no wonder that most of us would rather avoid the topic altogether. But, according to Couples Financial Coach Adam Kol, skirting the conversation often only makes things worse. With years of experience helping couples sort out the messy details around love and money, Adam Kol will be the first to tell you that avoiding these conversations is a quick way to start building resentment. As he says, perhaps we should be less afraid of what happens when we have these conversations—and more afraid of what happens when we don't. Fortunately, Adam has the tools to help you start talking so that you can keep your relationship and finances healthy. Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she sits down with Couples Financial Coach, Adam Kol, to discuss why people dread having conversations about money with their partners. Together they talk about why financial communication is so important, the benefits of opening up, and the consequences of avoidance. Plus, Adam explains how to get these conversations started and offers some pointers on navigating common mistakes. Stay tuned!

Why do people cheat, and how has the COVID-19 pandemic changed infidelity? Is it even possible to have an affair during a pandemic? And, is honesty always the best policy? Perhaps the answer isn't as straightforward as society likes to presume. During her time working at Ashley Madison, Isabella Mise has learned that where there's a will there's a way. She has gained fascinating insights from conversations with hundreds of members who use the site regularly. As she says, people have affairs for a wide variety of reasons, especially during a pandemic—and these reasons are generally not what we think they are. In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy sits down with Isabella Mise, the Communications Director at Ashley Madison, to discuss the pandemic's impact on relationships and affairs. Isabella breaks down some of the common myths and stereotypes about infidelity and shares what the data says about why people cheat. She also explains how people are having affairs in the midst of a pandemic and some of the new infidelity terms to come out of the COVID-19 lockdown. Stay tuned!

What power do commitments hold over your life? Are they positive, negative, or something to fear? And, once you commit, do you feel like you have to stick with it, regardless of the cost? What if the price you pay is your own happiness? Commitments are highly valued in our society, and they can be a powerful tool to help us achieve our goals. But what if we've committed to an outdated version of our wants and needs? For many, commitments are seen as something we're obliged to stick with, whether it's in our best interest or not. So, how do we redefine commitment in a way that allows us to reap its rewards without limiting our potential happiness? In this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me, Dr. Marie Murphy shares how a commitment she made early on in her life caused her to feel miserable and trapped—and how she finally found the courage to overcome her fears and make a change. Dr. Murphy discusses how to stop equating change with failure, the various ways commitment is over-glorified in society, and why there is no magic reward for sticking to a commitment that no longer serves you. Stay tuned!

Most people don't like conflict. In fact, many of us try to avoid it at all costs. When it comes to relationships, conflict is usually thought of as bad. But, what if conflict was actually a sign of a healthy relationship? CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke don't shy away from conflict—in their relationship or in business. At their coaching and consulting company, Thrive! Inc., they encourage other couples, teams, and individuals to face their fears and break down the barriers to addressing healthy conflict. In their opinion, happy relationships are not always easy—and that's okay. Join Dr. Marie Murphy in this episode of Your Secret is Safe With Me as she sits down with CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke, relationship experts and the Co-founders of the coaching and consulting firm, Thrive! Inc. Listen in as CrisMarie and Susan help dispel common myths about conflict, share a 15-minute exercise that may just save your relationship, and explain how to do relationship math. The results might surprise you! Stay tuned.