Real Men Feel with Andy Grant

“What is resiliency?” Andy Grant asks Resilient Culture Specialist, Jodi Woelkerling. Jodi is a coach and author who works with individuals and business leaders to help them build resilient cultures and individuals. In today’s episode, Jodi and Andy have a topical discussion about the importance of stress management and how it goes hand in hand with resilience training. Jodi explains her three-level process to helping her clients build resilience skills. She begins with level one, which highlights your body's natural reaction to stress, also known as fight or flight. Jodi explains the importance of recognition in this step, specifically through diverting your body away from physiological responses. She then explains level two: staying in a state of calm. Instead of being constantly on edge, Jodi encourages clients to practice staying in a state of calmness to prevent stressful outbursts. Lastly, Jodi dives into level three, which is recognizing that 95% of our behavior stems from the subconscious mind and we must dig into our traumas to reach full resilience. Tune into this week's episode of Real Men Feel for a conversation with Jodi Woelkerling about welcoming resilience into our lives. Learn about the differences between how men and women deal with stress, how resilience has shown its face in the pandemic in both negative and positive ways, and what the actual definition of resilience really is! Quotes • “The starting point is always recognizing in yourself when you are being affected by stress.” (7:55-8:02) • “In terms of lifestyle, the three basics are sleep, diet and exercise….People really underestimate the effects of those on our ability to deal with the stressors in our life.”  (13:22-13:28) • “Find ways that you can process and move through [a negative emotion] rather than suppressing it, so that it doesn’t become blocked in you and it doesn’t become an underlying bubbling away under the surface.” (14:45-15:04) • “95% of our behavior is from the subconscious mind.” (17:15-17:20) • “There might have been a message that people picked up when they were a child that said ‘If I ask for help, it shows I'm weak.’ This is a common one that men experience.” (19:35-19:55) • “From a cultural perspective, resilience is norms and leadership.” (26:55-27:01) • “Some people are triggered more than others by stressors because of underlying beliefs and perceptions.” (28:58-29:05) • “When I am working with foundations and leaders, the first step is always developing their own resilience.” (30:30-30:35) Links Connect with Jodi Woelkerling: Website | www.jodiwoelkerling.com LinkedIn | https://www.linkedin.com/in/resilient-culture-consultant/ Youtube | https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCK33Zq1qaMAjqzVhgXiKORQ Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/JodiWoelkerlingEnterprises Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast related! YouTube | Real Men Feel Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Men are fixers. We think we need to know how to fix everything. I tell the men pretty much every week that we are not here to fix each other,” explains Alan Cantor, Spiritual Guide, Transformational Coach, and Founder of The Surround Men’s Group. Alan Cantor has dedicated his life to creating a vision for children to live in a better world, and that starts with men. He believes there are three core concepts to improving a man’s life – connection, trust and listening. Alan opens up about his father dying when he was young and the effect it had on his understanding of manliness. Alan’s father was in many fraternal groups and seeing his father so passionate about connecting with other men made Alan want to connect on that same level. Alan looks at the wisdom his father gave him before passing as a gift that allows him to communicate, listen and understand men effectively. Now, Alan runs a very successful men’s group, The Surround, where men come together to better each other and themselves by listening, connecting and trusting one another. Tune into this week's episode of Real Men Feel for a conversation with Alan Cantor about embracing the positives of being a man. Learn what is appropriate to say to younger boys about manliness, how to accept that your emotions make you stronger, and how to take opportunities to become a better man. Plus, check out Alan’s recommended video The Nail in your Forehead linked below! Quotes • “We are all interconnected.” (12:56-12:59) • “It’s really one energy that we are representing and living out.” (13:15-13:18) • “Fear is the basic emotion of men, the basic feeling. It’s where men drive their lives from.” (16:47-16:54) • “The most terrible words you can say to a boy is, ‘Be a man.’” (18:07-18:12) • “We don’t just walk up to another man and go, ‘Hey! Let me tell you about my marriage.’” (23:05-23:12) • “Men are fixers. We think we need to know how to fix everything. I tell the men pretty much every week that we are not here to fix each other. There is no way we can fix each other. I am not qualified to fix anybody. You’re not qualified. We just cannot do it.” (23:30-23:50) • “Commitment before ego.” (27:00-27:04) • “We who lead men, it's on us to get what we need from other men.” (32:15-32:20) Links Connect with Alan Cantor: Website | thesurround.org Email | alancontr@gmail.com Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/TheSurround/ Check out Alan’s video recommendation: The Nail in Your Forehead | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Episode 258, October 12, 2021 Support this podcast → https://anchor.fm/realmenfeel/support Book a call with Andy → https://theandygrant.com/talk #RealMenFeel realmenfeel.org YouTube | Real Men Feel Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Change is a good thing,” says Rick Ornelas, Positive Change Expert, Author and Founder of I Spark Change. On this episode of Real Men Feel, guest Rick Ornelas explains the importance of maintaining a positive attitude, looking at life with a glass-half-full mentality, and acknowledging that change is not always a negative thing. Rick introduces the positive mindset of learning to adapt, grow and overcome obstacles, even if they are uncontrollables. He preaches about the insignificance of “being right” if it means sacrificing your happiness and the happiness of those around you. Rick also opens up about the inspiration behind his book 12 hours of Heaven, in which he tells the story of a terrifying car accident and the touching miracle that accompanied it. Tune into this week's episode of Real Men Feel for a conversation with Rick Ornelas about embracing positive change. Learn about the importance of allowing change into your life, accepting your emotional side and the balance between being right and being happy. Plus, check out Rick Ornelas’s book 12 Hours of Heaven linked below! Quotes • “We learn to adapt. We learn to become better in many situations. We learn to grow and overcome obstacles. Change is a good thing.” (03:56-04:09 | Rick Ornelas) • “We are designed to respond to negative stimulus far quicker than to positive stimulus.” (07:40-07:50 | Rick Ornelas) • “If [life] was flat, it’d be boring. Like, who wants to go on a flat rollercoaster? It’d be so slow and there wouldn’t be any excitement.” (17:06-17:15) | Rick Ornelas) • “All men were wearing the thickest, fakest mask long before the pandemic.” (28:45-29:55 | Andy Grant) • “There are people that are working to make the world better.” (39:08-39:11 | Rick Ornelas) • “Men can be vulnerable and they can be authentic”. (46:00-46:05 | Rick Ornelas) Connect with Rick Ornelas: Website: https://isparkchange.com/ Check out Rick's book, 12 Hours of Heaven: Lessons for a Better World https://amzn.to/3FkbVBN Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/isparkchange/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/i_spark_change/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/isparkchange/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCVxszC0wtIG4XxUOiFrHUqQ Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast related! YouTube | Real Men Feel Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“The truth is a lot of people just need to be heard,” says Kimberly Hill, Dating and Relationship Coach. Kimberly explains her not-so direct path to her current position. She started out her career overseas in the world of finance and was one of two women on a floor of 100 men. Kimberly explains how being around men, observing their lives and being their point person with relationship and life issues introduced her to her current career path. Kimberly describes the complex emotions that men often grapple with when dating and explains the two relationship coaching styles that she uses with men who are looking for support. Kimberly also opens up about her past with male partners and how patience, affirmations and allowing for vulnerability are extremely important when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship, especially with a male partner. Tune into this week's episode of Real Men Feel for a conversation with Kimberly Hill about listening to your male partner's needs. Learn about the importance of embracing your authentic self, how to overcome an anxious attachment style in relationships, and why the word “soulmate” might prevent someone from knowing if their partner is actually right for them. Quotes • “The truth is a lot of people just need to be heard.” (6:55-6:57) • “I believe that everybody wants to feel loved and connected.” (7:38-7:43) • “What is authenticity to you and why does it matter in dating?” “What is it to me? It's not supposed to be complicated. It’s just being yourself. If there is something you like or don't like, it’s being brave enough to share that, even if it goes against the crowd. And that leads into vulnerability. Vulnerability isn't just about sharing your emotions. Vulnerability is also walking up to a woman and asking her out knowing you could be rejected. Vulnerability is also disagreeing with your partner. Vulnerability means so many things, so it’s essential that not only are you being yourself, but you are acting yourself too and I think that’s where vulnerability comes in.” (14:05- 14:52) • “Learning to be yourself and be okay with it is what's gonna get you success and the right relationship.” (15:20-15:26) • “I wish more men knew they were awesome and they should really value themselves!” (35:54-36:00) Links Connect with Kimberly Hill: http://www.kimberlyninahill.com/ https://instagram.com/kimberlyninahill Download the Dating Handbook For Men and get access to Kimberly’s best dating secrets:  https://kimberlyninahill.kartra.com/page/datewithconfidence Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast related! YouTube | Real Men Feel Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“Value family over everything, over everything,” says Billy Potter, the Zen Plumber. On today’s episode, host Andy Grant and special guest Billy dive into the intricacies of families and how unconditional love trumps all. They dive deep on the many ways a father’s role during childhood can dramatically impact our perception of the world. Billy opens up about his father’s drug problems and how substance abuse may test a family, but does not prevent them from coming out stronger in the end. He explains that the strongest and toughest men will always maintain a soft spot for their children, which he relates to today, having three children of his own. Billy shares the most important lessons he has learned from his father and how he has grown as a person because of them. He now refers to his father as the best man he has ever known. Tune into this week's episode of Real Men Feel for a conversation with Billy Potter about seeing the best in your father, understanding the importance of feeling safe and loved in your family unit, and why valuing family over everything is the motto so many people live by. Quotes • “People are more valuable than stuff and things.” (4:10-4:13) • “Are there some specific things you can name that you learned from your father?” “To value family over everything, over everything, you know, money and stuff and that kind of junk. When I say family, there are many friends that are right in that circle I'd drop anything for.” (12:59-13:24) • “My dad, for the tough guy that he was, he hugged us all the time.” (20:55-20:58) • “It was true unconditional love going both ways.” (21:45-21:50) • “We were drowned in Disney movies, my dad was a fanatic. Pollyanna is an old classic Disney, if you've ever seen it. I mean it's an old one. Before my time even, I think. But I remember watching that time and time again, and maybe the whole positive thing comes from… There is a thing called the Glad Game in that movie. Alright, and whenever things are bad, you just gotta find a reason, gotta find the good in it. You gotta find a reason to be glad you are in whatever situation you are in. And I always think of that whenever… Cuz people say that to me all the time.” (23:20-24:03) • “I wish more men knew that there was more value in them than just working.” (35:43-35:46) Links Connect with Billy Potter: https://www.facebook.com/billy.potter.33671 Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast related! YouTube | Real Men Feel Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“I think the really beautiful thing about me partnering in these groups of men is for them to see what a healthy role model is for dialogue with a woman.” Elysia Jane Buss is a coach, speaker, equine connector, massage therapist, and men's group facilitator. We discuss her passion of advocating for men's rights. Episode 254, Aug 31, 2021 Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast related! YouTube | Real Men Feel Connect with Elysia: Website: GlobalEquineAffiliates.com Instagram: Elysiabuss Facebook: Facebook.com/Elysia.Buss Facebook Men’s Group: Facebook.com/groups/Globalresourcesformen Facebook Women’s Group: Facebook.com/groups/Phoenixrisingwomensgroup

“There's something greater out there that we can’t comprehend that is helping guide us and I think certain animals are brought to certain people for certain reasons.” Michael Overlie is an energy healer, life-purpose coach, and dog fanatic. Michael's purpose is to help men awaken to their path by letting their dogs lead. We discuss how men can live a fulfilled life. Episode 253, Aug 24, 2021 Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast related! YouTube | Real Men Feel Connect with Michael Overlie: Website | DogsandMen.com

“What we assume that ‘all’ men are this and ‘all’ women are that, is not true.” Beate Chelette is an author, speaker, and Growth Architect who joins us to discuss the men’s code in business, the women’s code, and the need to bring them together. Episode 252, Aug 17, 2021 Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast related! YouTube | Real Men Feel Connect with Beate Chelette: Website | BeateChelette.com LinkedIn |  Linkedin.com/in/beatechelette Twitter |  Twitter.com/BeateChelette Facebook | Facebook.com/GrowthArchitecture Womens Code Website | TheWomensCode.com

“I’ve always had this thirst for understanding more, instead of going out to play I’d rather read a book.” Nathaniel Brown is a speaker, coach, author, and survivor of childhood sexual abuse who believes we can all learn to "re-see" our traumatic experiences with a new perspective, allowing us to engage with life differently. When you change your perspective, you change your story, and you change your life. Episode 251, Aug 10, 2021 Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast related! YouTube | Real Men Feel Connect with Nathaniel Brown: Website: Theperspectivecoach.us Instagram: TheRealNathanielBrown LinkedIn: ThePerspectiveCoach Facebook:  ThePerspectiveCoach

“Telling myself I’m a good guy is probably the hardest thing I’ve had to do.” Tony Novello is an artist who makes things, from slate mountainscapes to fused glass wind chimes. He joins us to speak about his mission to serve others and help mend the fabric of the world. When he's not doing art, he serves as an Air Force senior consultant and servant-leader for the Department of Defense. Episode 250, Aug 3, 2021 Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast related! YouTube | Real Men Feel Connect with Tony Novello: Facebook | Tony.Novello.963