How To! with Mike Pesca

Jenn and Todd Brandel have a close, loving relationship with their father, Bruce. But one thing makes their blood boil: his political chain emails. The messages are often forwarded commentary written in a provocative tone, and are an unwelcome reminder of just how far apart the family is politically. On this episode of How To!, we're joined by Mónica Guzmán, senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times. In the first of a special two-part episode on talking politics with our parents, Mónica teaches Jenn and Todd how to aim for understanding with their dad, not agreement. Next week, Jenn, Todd, and their dad Bruce will put these tips into practice—on mic—around the kitchen table, as Mónica provides post-game analysis. We'll dive into what worked, what got a little messy, and how to keep making progress. If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Embrace Your Anti-Vax Family This Holiday Season" and "How To Talk Politics Without Wrecking Relationships." Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Thanks Avast.com! Learn more about Avast One at Avast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Becca is 6-feet tall, bold and strong-willed. She's also easily startled and paralyzed by fear — even a children's haunted house can reduce her to tears. In this episode of How To!, we bring in sociologist Margee Kerr, author of Scream: Chilling Adventures in the Science of Fear, to give us the lowdown on surviving scary situations. Can making fear more fun help Becca overcome her startle reflex in time for Halloween? Do you have a problem that needs solving? Have you found the advice on our podcast helpful? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you've ever vacationed on the beaches of Delaware, chances are you drove right by Smyrna. It's a small but charming town that's been bypassed by the main highways. Which is why Mike, a small business owner on the town council, wants to create a spectacular, engaging roadside attraction to tempt tourists into town. The only snag? He doesn't know what to actually build. On this episode of How To!, we bring on roadside attraction aficionado Erika Nelson. She's the creator of The World's Largest Collection of the World's Smallest Versions of the World's Largest Things. She's also an artist who helps towns like Smyrna develop their own car-stopping attractions. She decodes the magic of the most wondrous roadside attractions and explains why hosting a Guinness world record-holding object is not the only key to success. You also have to tell a good story. If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Convince People to Give You Money." Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After three decades of marriage, Bernadette wasn't exactly blindsided when Rodney asked for a divorce. Things had been rocky for awhile, but she always assumed they'd live the rest of their lives "unhappily ever after." Now Bernadette is facing an uncertain future, wondering how she's going to navigate her new life socially, emotionally, and financially. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Dr. Elizabeth Cohen, author of Light on the Other Side Of Divorce: Discovering the New You, and host of the podcast The Divorce Doctor. She helps Bernadette formulate a plan for keeping things civil, and handling everything from personal finances to awkward inquiries from well-meaning friends. If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Save Your Marriage," "How To Have a Fight That Actually Helps Your Relationship," and "How To Reconnect With Your Kid After a Nasty Divorce." Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Thanks Avast.com! Learn more about Avast One at Avast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Dana and Luke first started dating at the office they kept their relationship a secret. Most of their colleagues didn't know they were a couple until they got engaged. They didn't want any undue pressure or outside judgment. That's because Dana is a proud Black, Ghanaian woman from central Florida and Luke is a white man from Kansas. Dana's wondering how she can preserve her identity while they absorb each others' family traditions. On this episode of How To!, guest host Hélène Biandudi Hofer brings on Karyn Langhorne Folan, author of Don't Bring Home a White Boy: And Other Notions that Keep Black Women From Dating Out. All three discuss the struggles and joys in their respective interracial marriages. If you want to learn more about Dana's work, check out AfroLA. If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Beat Your Hidden Biases." Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

College application season is approaching fast—too fast—for 16-yr old Maya and her mother, Melissa. The problem? Maya has no idea where to go or what to study. It doesn't help that there are thousands of schools to choose from, and little transparency about their true cost. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Ron Lieber, New York Times money columnist and author of The Price You Pay for College. He shows Maya how to narrow down the list of potential colleges by asking insightful questions of the schools and, ultimately, yourself. Then he talks to Melissa about how to pay for it without harming the rest of the family's finances. Ron's questions for parents: What do you remember your parent or parents saying to you the first time they talked about what college would cost and what, if anything, they would pay? Or if there was silence around the topic of paying for college, what did it speak? How much was your parent or your parents willing to pay for your education? How did you feel about that? If your parents paid your way, is it possible that you should not feel obligated to do the same, given how much the world has changed? And if your parents paid nothing, have you asked yourself whether 15 years of extreme thrift starting now (or going deep into debt 15 years from now to pay for your child's first-choice college) may not erase whatever pain lingers from that period long ago -- or may create new conflict with your spouse and kids? How much might you be willing to borrow -- or delay repayment of your own student loans? How long are you willing to delay retirement to meet this goal? If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Raise a Future College Athlete." Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Trish first started working in corporate recruiting, she had wonderful co-workers, a supportive manager, opportunities for growth—it was "bliss." But the bliss evaporated in 2020 when she got laid off during the pandemic. She's since found a different job in the same field, but also decided to try her hand at teaching pilates part-time. Now, after burning the candle at both ends, Trish is burned out and unsure of the best path forward. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Nathan and Susannah Furr, authors of The Upside of Uncertainty. They have some useful tools to help Trish—and all of us—find our footing in uncertain times. If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Bounce Back From Burnout" and "How To Advance Your Career by Quitting Your Job." Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Thanks Avast.com! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the second of a two-part episode on reimagining the news we continue our conversation with Nicole Lewis, Senior Editor of Jurisprudence at Slate, and a longtime reporter on the criminal justice beat; and David Bornstein, co-founder/CEO of the Solutions Journalism Network, and former contributor to the New York Times' Fixes column. The discussion picks up where we left off on how journalists can regain the trust of their audience, and how news consumers can find stories that inspire hope, agency and dignity — our democracy may depend on it. Resources: https://trustingnews.org https://wearehearken.com https://results.org If you liked this episode, check out Part 1: "How To Unbreak the News" Do you have a burning question? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

About five or six years ago, host Amanda Ripley started noticing that her normal news diet left her feeling depleted and depressed. She tried mixing up her news habits, even avoiding it for awhile, but nothing helped. It felt like a shameful secret. Shouldn't journalists love consuming the news? She began to wonder, is it me....or is it the news itself? On this episode of How To!, the first of two parts, we'll hear from several of our listeners who feel the same way. We'll also talk with Nicole Lewis, Senior Editor of Jurisprudence at Slate, and a longtime reporter on the criminal justice beat; and David Bornstein, co-founder/CEO of the Solutions Journalism Network, and former contributor to the New York Times' Fixes column. Together they'll discuss how the news became so broken, and how we can put it back together again. Resources: Solutions Story Tracker® Fear of Rampant Crime Is Derailing New York City's Recovery by Fola Akinnibi and Raeedah Wahid I stopped reading the news. Is the problem me — or the product? by Amanda Ripley Do you have a burning question? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Clare decided on a resolution for the year, she was looking for a new challenge. Instead of running a marathon like her partner, Clare—who "talks for a living"—decided to go completely silent. She signed up for a silent retreat. But as it approached, she wondered how she could possibly go an entire week without speaking. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Daniel Thorson of the Monastic Academy in Vermont and host of the podcast, Emerge. Daniel has spent over a year of his life in silent meditation, including a 75 day silent retreat at the beginning of the pandemic. He says his first silent retreat was the worst experience of his life — just what Clare wanted to hear — but there's a reason he kept going back. If you liked this episode, check out: How To Quiet the Chatter in Your Head and How To Sleep with Headspace's Andy Puddicombe. Do you have a burning question? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices