How To! with Mike Pesca

TJ has spent years trying to heal herself and put her childhood behind her. Both of her parents struggled with addiction, which made for a very complicated, unstable upbringing. After sacrificing her own childhood to raise her siblings—TJ feels deeply wounded by her mother in particular. She really wants to let it go. The only question is how. On this episode of How To!, we bring on journalist Marina Cantacuzino. Marina is the founder of The Forgiveness Project, a charity that shares stories of victims, survivors, and perpetrators of "crime and conflict who have rebuilt their lives following hurt and trauma." She's also the author of a new book called Forgiveness: An Exploration. Marina shares some powerful stories about others who have opened their hearts to forgiveness—even if it took awhile—and began to free themselves from resentment. If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Forgive the Unforgivable." Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Want a behind-the-scenes look at how we create the show? Check out Slate's Pocket Collections for research and reading lists, as well as additional insights into how we think about the stories behind the episodes. Sponsored by Saks.com. Check out the Holiday Gift Guide on saks.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week, Los Angeles' newly elected mayor Karen Bass declared a state of emergency to help address the city's homelessness crisis. It's an overwhelming issue that has left a lot of Angelenos wondering how they can help, including this week's listener Alex. On this episode, host Amanda Ripley brings on two people who have experience fighting housing insecurity. Theo Henderson is an activist and host of the podcast, We the Unhoused, which sheds light on the struggles faced by the unhoused community in Los Angeles. Larry Morrissey is the former mayor of Rockford, Illinois. During his tenure, the city functionally ended veteran and chronic homelessness – by doing something altogether different than what most cities have tried. Together Theo and Larry explain what needs to change in order to properly address this crisis. If you liked this episode, check out: "How to (Really) Help Refugees." LA organizations mention: J-Town Action and Solidarity as well as The Reclaimers. Do you have an insurmountable problem that needs solving? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Want a behind-the-scenes look at how we create the show? Check out Slate's Pocket Collections for research and reading lists, as well as additional insights into how we think about the stories behind the episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

'Tis the season of gathering with friends and family. It's also a time where some of us yearn for a closer community, like this week's listener. Morgan is looking for a way to hang out with friends in a consistent, meaningful manner. On this episode of How To!, Priya Parker, author of The Art of Gathering, explains how to transform a lackluster hang-out where people just sit around drinking beer into a party with a purpose where guests want to come back. She tells us how to create an event that meets a need with the right rules and the right guest list. She even has tips for sprucing up your next holiday party. If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Cook One Perfect Meal." Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. Podcast production by Derek John, Rosemary Belson, and Kevin Bendis. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Want a behind-the-scenes look at how we create the show? Check out Slate's Pocket Collections for research and reading lists, as well as additional insights into how we think about the stories behind the episodes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Victor's job—at its core—is to change the world. But he feels like he's plateaued within his large humanitarian and development organization, and is now on the verge of jumping ship. On this episode of How To!, Annie Duke, author of Quit: The Power Of Knowing When to Walk Away, helps Victor decide if he should recommit to his current job or move on to something else. She explains the cognitive biases that prevent us from quitting and reveals why most of us quit things far too late. If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Uproot Your Life." Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Want a behind-the-scenes look at how we create the show? Check out Slate's Pocket Collections for research and reading lists, as well as additional insights into how we think about the stories behind the episodes. Thanks Avast.com! Learn more about Avast One at Avast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode from our friends at The Atlas Obscura Podcast, you'll visit the San Diego Automotive Museum in California to hear about one man's dream of creating the ultimate road trip car. Their podcast is an audio guide to the world's wondrous, awe-inspiring, strange places. In under 15 minutes, they'll take you to an incredible site, and along the way you'll meet some fascinating people and hear their stories. Join them daily, Monday through Thursday, to explore a new wonder with cofounder Dylan Thuras and a neighborhood of Atlas Obscura reporters. If you wanna hear more stories about America's quirky roadside attractions — and how to create your own — check out our recent episode "How To Put Your Town on the Map." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lauren already knows the plot of her bestselling novel—the problem is she hasn't written a word. Paralyzed by self-criticism and an earlier rejection, this former English major has spent years journaling instead of attempting the scary, difficult work of creative writing. On this episode of How To!, we turn to writer Taffy Brodesser-Akner, whose debut novel Fleishman Is in Trouble, was one of the hottest books of the year. Can she help Lauren finally put pen to paper? The first thing Lauren needs to do, Taffy says, is stop journaling, and start writing. And then keep writing: "You can't get to the good sentences if you don't write the bad ones first." Next, find a trusted reader, not a cheerleader, to give you honest feedback. And when doubt begins to creep in again, look at the writers you admire and simply ask, "Why them and not me?" Do you have a problem that needs a solution? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To move or not to move? That is the question for Tiffani. She is desperate to get out of her hometown in rural Oregon and find a place with affordable housing, better dating prospects, and a ballroom dance studio nearby… or at least a P.F. Chang's closer than a four hour drive away. The problem? Her preferred destination would mean moving clear across the country. On this episode of How To!, decision coach Nell McShane Wulfhart sits down with Tiffani and helps her make this life-changing decision in under 60 minutes. It's true! Nell shows us how we can all uncover what we truly want and then write ourselves permission slips to actually pursue it. If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Have Happy Regrets." Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Season 3 of The Relentless is all about moving fearlessly. We're kicking things off with two guests who not only embody that mindset, they're growing businesses in ways that also empower their communities. First, we talk to Kathryn Finney, a venture capitalist, author, entrepreneur, and one of the first Black women to have a successful seven-figure startup exit. Finney shares insights she gained on her journey from epidemiologist to an influential woman in tech, and discusses her commitment to investing in her own communities of Black entrepreneurs and underrepresented groups. Later in the show, we'll hear CENTURY 21® Broker Vicki Monteagudo talk about the entrepreneurial strategies she used to grow a thriving brokerage in her own Tri-Cities community. Guests Kathryn Finney: Founder & Managing General Partner of Genius Guild and author of Build the Damn Thing Vicki Monteagudo: Owner & Designated Broker of CENTURY 21 Tri-Cities Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As Kate's teenage son, Sam, approached college she noticed him withdrawing. He wasn't excited about his future and started to show symptoms of major depression. It came to a crisis point one summer night before Sam was set to leave for school. In the weeks and months that followed, Sam struggled to navigate the mental health system in search of care. And Kate? Kate was left wondering how she could help her son without being overbearing. On this episode of How To!, guest host Carvell Wallace brings on Dr. Christine Moutier, psychiatrist and the chief medical officer for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. She advises Kate and all of us on how to be appropriately supportive, especially when things get to a scary place. She also reveals how she coped when her own teenager experienced a mental health crisis. Resources: If you or anyone you know is in crisis, dial 988 or text TALK to 741741. American Foundation for Suicide Prevention AFSP's Real Conversation Guides If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Stop Being Anxious" Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we're going to see if one American family can flip the usual, tortured and tedious script for arguing about politics and do something more interesting. Jenn and Todd Brandel sit down with their dad, Bruce, to see if they can come to a better understanding about what has shaped their different political views. Mónica Guzmán, senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times, is back to provide some insightful post-game analysis. In this second episode of our special two-part series, she breaks down what went well, what got a little messy, and what we can all apply to our own conversations with loved ones. Listen to the first part of our series: "How To Talk Politics With Your Dad (Without Yelling) Pt 1" If you liked this episode, you might also like: "How To Rescue Someone From a Conspiracy Theory." Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you'll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Slate Plus members get bonus segments and ad-free podcast feeds. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices