The Leader Learner Podcast

Send us Fan MailCheck-In Question:Do you think it's appropriate to cry at work, and when was the last time you cried at work? Big Ideas:Is appropriate the right word to refer to having emotions at work?Judgment behind the work appropriatePermission to have the full range of emotions, even at workHow criticism brings up a sense of threat, even if we don't consciously think of itThe importance of specific feedback, so we know what to do differently or more ofNegativity biasWhat makes feedback appropriate, useful, or adequate? Imposter syndromeKnowing what triggers us to get defensiveHow style interacts with purpose/vision, from a tactical perspectiveClarity up front about your styleTurning threats into opportunitiesMaking our methods/styles into a differentiating factors (USP)What are people's expectations before engaging in a learning space?Is the feedback touching the core of who I am, or is it more tactical? Looking at making abstract ideas more actionable"Our judgments are the tragic expressions of our unmet needs" ~Marshall RosenbergBias coming from expectationsRespecting and honoring other people's feedback and their stories, rather than explaining away or defending their perspectiveLetting some feedback float away in the distanceLooking at the needs behind people's feedbackHow are we prioritizing feedback? Is the feedback in line with our values? What feedback are we holding on to, and what are we letting go? References:No Hard Feelings by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West DuffyBig Feelings by Liz Fosslien and Mollie West DuffyBrené Brown's discussion of creating observable behaviors for abstract ideas in the book Dare to LeadMarshall Rosenberg and Non-Violent CommunicationAtlas of the Heart by Brené BrownMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us Fan MailCheck-In Question:Would there be more or fewer people leaving their jobs (divorces)  if people could read each other's minds? Big Ideas:The importance of candor in organizationsHow we do candor mattersThe culture of candor matters - sometimes labeled a non-team player if point out mistakesSafety as it relates to communication styles - direct/indirectOur own relationship to threat and how it relates to psychological safetyTwo people can be on the same team, and one can feel safe and another notThe company needs people to feel psychological safeHow we receive candor mattersThe stories we create about our sense of safety, versus the reality of our safetyOur personal agency when it comes to being safe at workRules of engagement for our candor for both the giver and receiverScaffolding to our candor - meeting people where they areBalance candor with empathyHaving the conflict about the issues, NOT the peopleBridge the connection and the work together Not just what we do, but how we do itIs how we treat each other more important than what we do? Seeing our employees as not just rational beings, but emotional beings as wellIt's not about balance, but counterbalance. Yes/And rather than Either/OrDo our ideas about our company belong to us or our company? Interplay between voice and silence within an organizationSilence as a sign of psychological safety - hearing people think in silence, space between contributions shows listeningHaving a seat at the table doesn't mean having a voiceCollective intelligence - equal time of speaking is one of the factorsIncreasing psychological safety also increases collective intelligencePsychological safety as an outcome, there is no formulaHonoring people's voices without forcing their voicesResources Mentioned:'The Fearless Organization' by Amy Edmondson'Principles' by Ray DalioGoogle's Project AristotleMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us Fan MailWhat kinds of things you'll learn about us:What we individually create in our work, and what forWhat makes Theresa happy about her workThe company Vincent would want to change The artist/band Theresa would take with her to a deserted islandThe book Vincent would read for the rest of his lifeTheresa's most badass leadership moment What Theresa would do with her one magic wandThe leadership lesson Vincent keeps having to learn again and againHow Vincent is like his fatherTheresa's key to a happy professional lifeWho Theresa would have dinner with if she couldHow Vincent reads so the info stays aliveWhat brings Theresa a sense of aweWhat makes Vincent a readerResources Mentioned:Karpman's Drama TriangleKristin Neff on Self-CompassionBrené BrownElizabeth LesserJim Kwik - Brain CoachMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us Fan MailWith Guest Suzanne Lee from Straumann GroupBig Ideas:Intimate relationship between leadership and learningLeadership is an invitation to tomorrow that is better than todayPerform for today, transform for tomorrow - learning and listening is at the coreLearn faster than the environment is changingThe I, the We and the It -- learning must happen on those 3 dimensions or you leave others behindLearning is a mindset, not a tool, process, or life hackChange is speeding up, so must learn faster than the change so we don't get swallowed upTaking responsibility for our workloadsLearning as a value, so I make it happen no matter what is on my plateWhat am I okay with not doing perfectlyDon't bother with time management hacks, be okay with not getting things doneIntentionality of own growth, team growth, and individuals on teams growthHow to reconcile performance with learning and what's on our plateEven within a system that won't help you keep your boundaries, if you have a discipline of reflection and perspective-taking, you can focus more on transformCreate the space and time to reflect and learnReject victim stanceIf not intentional, life takes overLearning on the job, not in the jobLearning will get pushed to the bottom if it is an additional taskIf learning is a business priority to do your current job better, it's not a separate taskIntegrating the learning and reflection into the work as you do itLearning not as an additional to-do that no one has time forChallenge transforming from doing to learning -- great at perform, not so much at transformBuilding in micro-moments of reflection70% of a learning organization is about the culture and leadership, not the toolsUnless it is seen around them, they won't do it on their ownImmediacy bias -- focus on today, not the futurePersist in the struggle because it shows you are onto something - trust the processDebate the topic not the personHow move from hub and spoke model, to a community of practice where we are all accountable Leading more from behind than right out on frontCuriosity and coaching mindset rather than advice givingBounce your worlds with othersShared accountabilityReferences:Unleashed by Frances Frei & Anne Morriss4000 Weeks by Oliver BurkemanThe Power of Giving Away Power by Matthew BarzunMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us Fan MailVincent starts off with a story….Big Ideas:Don’t take employees monkeys, or it turns into a zooEmployees need to keep their own monkeysLeaders and managers are not necessarily the sameIt’s exhausting and unsustainable for a manager to take everyone’s monkeysIt’s natural for managers to take things off people’s plates. They think it’s their job. How are we supporting people’s transition from individual contributor to management? What is the role of a manager? The shift from owning your work, to overseeing the work of the individual contributors work, without taking it onRole of the manager is to make obstacles go away (organization, finances, resources, team dynamics, psychological safety, recruiting, etc)Manager to focus on the conditions - preparing the space by removing obstacles, and putting things inCreating the conditions for competencies to be builtShould we let employees fail?The relationship between failure and trust.Creating the culture and context for failure is importantNot taking on the failures of individual contributors as our own failures - accountability infectionFail fast, fail early, fail oftenPeople are already failing. Are they doing something with it? As leaders, help them through the failure.The emotional response to the words we use, including failHow are leaders talking about failure?Naming emotions and experiences so that we can have power over itLooking at our fail points ahead of time, so we can pivot soonerHow we keep persisting on to avoid failure even when it’s the wrong pathLooking at our fail points allows us to know whether the risk is worth itDoing more of the same strategy doesn’t work if it’s the wrong strategyTest, Assess, ActAgile working, sprints, and retrospectivesUsing the scientific method and testing hypothesesWhat have I done? What will I do? What are my obstacles?Agile working - product management and scrum masterReferences:The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey by Ken BlanchardThe Leadership Pipeline by Ram CharanAtlas of the Heart by Brené BrownTaking Smart Risks by Doug SundheimTrust Matters by Ken BlanchardMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us Fan MailCheck in Question:Do you believe criminals can be truly rehabilitated in prison? Big Ideas:“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”Fear of people who are different than usThe costs of the advice trap that leads to dysfunction in teamsAdvice is personal and the transfer of it doesn’t alway flourish in another context, or with another personBest practices shift based on context, and means that there is only one.We don’t live in a linear world, so there can’t be a best. Advice creates demotivated advice receivers and overwhelmed advice giversAdvice creates a short term solaceAdvice is everywhere and we all seem to like giving it outIs sharing of information giving advice? Sometimes the expertise and advice is wrong for youThe power of the scientific process (randomized trials)Selling your idea as “THE” ideaIs the problem the assumption behind the advice and not the advice itself?The importance of drawing out the ideas of all people, and being attuned to why they aren’t sharing their ideasThe person who talks the most often has the “power” in a situation.Are we willing to share our voice and have power dynamics shift as a result?How to hold power? Being worthy of power.Power with people versus power over othersWhen we interact with people who want our advice and expect to receive itThe people who want to be told what to do, and the people who love to tell others what to doWhat about the cultures where giving advice is a natural part of life because it is a passing along of knowledge? What’s the middle way?Is advice giving a way to exert power over othersThe intention behind the advice giving has many nuancesThe dynamics of the relationship matters when it comes to advice giving/receivingReferences:The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay StanierThe Unforgivable (movie with Sandra Bullock)Adam GrantElias Porter – 6 Listening AttitudesChatter by Ethan CrossQuiet by Susan CainThe Power of Giving Away Power by Matthew BarzunThe Karpman Drama TriangleThe Wisdom of CoachingMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us Fan MailWith Guest: Tames Rietdijk, founder and former CEO at Business ForensicsCheck in Question:Did you ever play hooky or cut class in school?Big Ideas:Learning as a way of lifeBalance between “living the life of my knowledge, living of the knowledge of life”Would lose perspective if I focused my learning on only one areaLiving of the knowledge of life is learning from the signs and your interpretation Sometimes your environment doesn’t always allow you to transform you into who you want to beNot using the knowledge of the past to inform the futureLearning through experiences and reflectionPutting myself out of my comfort zone to apply what I am learning from booksThe range of people’s opinions from failure to successLearning from the feedback of others that is the opposite of the feedback you would give yourselfThe importance of looking at your drivers (sometimes they are hidden)The habit of relearning The importance of seeing the business world from the inside, rather than studying it from the outsideLetting go of people who may be super productive, but who give feedback in a critical mannerThe power of silenceThe sense of reassurance and certainty that comes with data and numbersSupporting people to learn and understanding that people’s experience and maturity shifts how they learnThe difference between mentoring and coaching and how to apply them with those you leadA sense of autonomy mattersCritical and conscious thinking and the importance of being mindful of your own assumptions Recognizing your own assumptions and beliefs, so that you based your decisions on factsThe older you get, the more knowledge you gain, and the more experiences you have, yet the more stuck you are in your assumptions.Thinking your assumptions are the truth makes it harder to step back from themExperiencing the knowledge so that you internalize your learning moreThe training triangle between participants, trainer, and knowledgeReferences:Gary VaynerchukMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us Fan MailCheck in Question:If you could spend a whole day with any one person, who would it be?Big Ideas:Learning from anyone through their experiencesThinking that one has potential doesn’t commit to anything, but believing that people have the keys to their own happiness and that you are equalsSeeing your children as your teacher, rather than you as their teacher.Equalize the relationship to reduce status/rank, and exploring how the relationship shifts when we relate to them with more equityChildren not as spongers, but as mirrors.Start looking at those who we thinking can’t teach us anything, to teach us something. Shifting power dynamics so we are all on the same levelStepping down the pedestal, and/or inviting people up onto our pedestal, or giving ourselves permission to step upMoving from calling people patients to clients to create more of a partnershipFitting in, being liked, and societal shoulds being the drivers away from who we are, and our authentic selvesBalancing group dynamics with personal needsTension between who we think we are and what the group needs - finding the “right” groupTransparency about who you are as a leader and asking team to hold you accountable to being who you areWhich comes first, trust or vulnerability? Creating relationships where there is more reciprocity with intentionIn a “help relationship”, both parties are helping each otherNot needing to be someone special to support other people and have a special role in their growth and/or learningFinding mutuality in our relationshipsReferences:The Carl Rogers ReaderThe Conscious Parent by Dr. Tsabary ShefaliGedankenexperimentAtlas of the Heart by Brené BrownMarc Brackett researcherSocial Identity TheoryNon Violent Communication by Marshall RosenbergHealing Circles GlobalTime to Think by Nancy KleinMary Parker FollettMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm

Send us Fan MailCheck In Question:If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? Big Ideas:“Living is learning to die”Having a “north star” that is worth dying for (a just cause)Sinek’s belief that businesses are focusing on money, not on a cause.How to transition or connect a non-“sexy” business to having a just cause?Our “just cause” shouldn’t be tied to a service or product, so we can have “existential flex”How do businesses measure success? Financial, Social, Ecological?An infinite game isn’t about winning. The goal is to keep playing.Winning and losing is short-term, fixed mindset.Can you be competitive without winning? In the infinite game, the rules are consistently shifting.The business shift toward business as a result of ideas from Milton FriedmanThe shift in pay scales between employees and CEO’s over the last several decadesReciprocity and giving it backHow we latch onto ideas and how ideas can changeIs making money the primary purpose of business, or the secondary?Move people up the hierarchy of importance in businessMoving away from doing business for the shareholders, and focusing on the employees and their contributionsImbalance in how we measure financial success with regard to employees and shareholders.How to do capitalism different? Who defines capitalism? The constellation mindset rather than a pyramid mindsetA small amount of investment from a large amount of people can tip the scalesThinking of our business as hunting (short term) or farming (longing)People want to feel valued and a part of the journeyThe importance of cultivating relationships as farmersReferences:The Infinite Game by Simon SinekThe Power of Giving Away Power by Mathew BarzunAdam SmithMilton FriedmanGravity Payments The Soul of Money by Lynne TwistPodcast between Simon Sinek and Matthew BarzunMore yummy content on leaderlearner.fm