Superpowered Mind with Clare Dimond

I have a question after hearing the last Home webinar, which I could not attend in person. You spoke about the conceptual mind as a gift, the only problem being that it makes a concept of self. But as I understand it at the moment, to build a concept of self is inevitable in the developmental phase. There is a time where the child just realizes it is a separate entity somehow and we call this I. So if this is the problem, why is it built into our evolutionary design? Or is it only in our culture, where the I is so worshipped, that this happens, and in a society, where people would not give such an example the I wouldn’t develop? But even if, obviously the overall evolution favours the development of an I. There is a philosopher Jean Gebser who has a model of the evolution of awareness (he calls it mutation of awareness), where he shows we started with an archaic awareness where there was no sense of I at all and evolved over the magic and mythical state to the current mental state, the culmination of separation where the I sees itself as always facing a Not-I. He also says that we will move to the integral awareness, where we will combine all the previous states and can access them simultaneously. It seems the evolution leads us to the formation of a separate I.If this concept of self is the problem, why is it inevitable? It seems to me either the design is flawed and sets us up for suffering, and again, why would it be like that, or I don’t see something. I bet it’s the last one.Can you shed a light on this topic please?

You often use the metaphor mountain - no mountain - mountain. And you also encourage us to stay with the discomfort, to notice it, observe it, and see what's believed and what's actually true in those moments. A peer in your community shared with me that staying with the discomfort is "no mountain" - can you speak to that? I'm not seeing what she's seeing yet.

I have long turned to writing as a way of, what feels like, processing or making known felt insights.Something stirs in me and I reach for my laptop to try to put words to the knowing that is felt. I love the process of trying to match words to a feeling.When what is written feels as complete as I can make it, I go back and reread it. I’m often struck by the wisdom, beauty and deep resonance in my words. I know I’m reading Truth.The moment passes and if I were to reread these same words later on, they may or may not ring with resonance. The moment has passed.If they no longer ring as they did, I’m left with a mind that jumps in and somewhat snottily points out all the ways “Sure, you write that, but that’s not how you’re living.”In your conversation with Shelly you mention how writing like this comes through creating words for the mind to hear. My paraphrase. My mind jumps in and wants to control this process. Or work it somehow. I see through that. That’s the tail of the elephant judging it’s own ear and looking to fix it.And, darn it, my mind just wants to know how this works. Is seeing a belief believed  in the light of day what dissolves the belief? Or sees the belief as part of the body/mind/psychology and nothing needs to be dissolved or done. Just is. IS fine? 

When I hear about the observer and the observed being the same thing it feels like there is a deep truth to this. My (very simplistic) understanding of quantum physics seems to point in that direction.  I teach in a school for a living. So in my day to day experience, it seems as if what I'm being asked to do by my employer is to control the behaviour and (to an extent) the thoughts of others. But really, if there are no pupils and no me this can't really be the case?  I feel like there is a lot to be seen here and that the classroom I find myself in each day is really a space for expansion. Could you speak about this please? 

The Body, A guide for occupants by Bill Bryson, Sunday Book 

Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible in us be found.Pema Chödrön

I feel like a grenade has gone off inside of me, very thing going off and blown up inside of me.I am experiencing the raw grief and heart ache of loosing my husband as you know.I have properties trying to be sold and yet have no home. I have money held in the bank but have no money.The security I had with being with my husband has blown up I am no longer a WE. I no longer have my husband to do things together.Wills and taxes and so much more having to be dealt with.I am learning from the course about reality and mind activity but the reality is so real in all it’s goings on.Through your course  Claire I am seeing bit by bit who I am not, about the self.However this afternoon I felt that without my husband life is going to be so much different and that is reality.But I felt hurt upset insecure lost and so much more and I found it difficult to actually see the difference in the reality and the mind activity making up stories.I feel very confused about what I am experiencing and making up.Life will change because I have never know really what it is like to be the real I to know the real I have lived worried and concerned about my family and others. People pleasing etc.I have had a melt down today and I think your amazing course and subliminals are blowing everything up to be seen but I feel overwhelmed which I feel is amazing. But also having to deal with life I just fell apart.And Clare you are teaching me that it’s not down to the self to control be in charge is the self doesn’t exist.I was just wondering if you have anything to say on when life throws so much stuff at one time and being open and real to it all but also living with the stress and also the effect on the body.Clare I love being with you, I love all that you point to, I feel so much love when you speak of this understanding. I respect you and most of all I thank my wisdom for guiding me to you because without you and Home I’m not sure I would be as ok as I am.

I was listening to the podcast about ‘Why do I shut down?’ As you know I’ve been experiencing anxiety and depression, everything has improved a bit even the low mood isn’t as low but the comment about triggers in the podcast and information that is being given made me curious. I notice that I am constantly comparing my life to others and as my life circumstances currently don’t feel favourable (although I know that is very outside-in) I have feelings of jealously, lack of connection and despondency that things will never improve, while at the same time not begrudging anyone else their joy and abundance. I am observing and trying to be with the feeling without judgement, sometimes easier than others when you want to feel better. Also wondered about that feeling of striving to move connected, reaching out to friends to meet and when they are busy taking it personally and starting the despondency cycle again. Seems like the striving to say connected is an attempt to be validated and being isolated feels like death as you put it on this weeks webinar. We are social animals so if feels natural to want to connect. I wondered if you had anything to say these points. 

I love your podcasts and listen avidly . Can I ask you where should one keep the attention if it’s now not on thoughts. I try not to get attached to thoughts and see them  just pass by but my mind goes haywire    and seems worse and then I’m sucked back into my mind.

Can you please help me out? The 'i' concept is not real. Like Allan Watts said in the quote you discussed on the "Saturday quote podcast."But the experience of it seems real. I can see that we are the lifeforce/consciousness but on the other hand my experience from nanosecond to nanosecond differs.. i sometimes really get lost in the stories the i (made of thoughts intangeled in each other) spins. Full of blame, selfpity, anger and fear. Then my body gets contracted, my heart area hurts. I want to have control (to stop it) but that keeps the whole structure intact.When the "i" gives it up, i notice the story collaps. And i am free! But there is still a need for control, how can i lossen this? Or is that (the need to lossen it) the problem? What to do?