Superpowered Mind with Clare Dimond

Listener question: In recent months there has been more and more phases where I am overflowing with love towards nearly everyone in my life, uninhibited joy about life and aliveness. And then there are these phases of old familiar pain. Often I wake up with intense bitter and resentful feelings in my throat. The mind replays stories of people having been hateful and hurtful. The undercurrents of rage in my system are difficult to be with. When the self feels like that not the best decisions come up.I suppose the question would be how can I be more unconditional loving with myself and others in these times of the distorted lense? 

Listener question: A pattern of conditioning has arisen for me a few times and I wonder if you could explore it on a podcast, please, if you had space?What is going on with “I’m ok, only if you’re ok” or “I’m not ok if you’re not ok”? I notice that when others are happy or settled or peaceful, then I’m ok. If they are sad, distressed, angry then I’m not ok. Although I have times where I can be very close and settled with feeling down, I continue to find it hard at times when someone else is low and I can’t appear to ease it for them. 

Listener question: I guess this is a ‘what is love?’ and ‘am I normal?’ question to which the answer is probably ‘who the hell is there to know one way or the other?’ but just out of curiosity:-My Mother has been diagnosed with what is probably terminal cancer; we’ll know the prognosis this week.  Ours has been a strained relationship to say the least of it and, while we’ve got things on to a more or less amicable footing, there’s no real intimacy there, and therefore hardly any response inside me other than ‘I hope she goes peacefully’ and even that feels like one of those learned responses you speak of.  On the other hand, a friend who I don’t see much of but pops into my thoughts periodically has also just been diagnosed with what is probably terminal cancer and I feel much more shocked and sorry about that.  This isn’t something I’m especially perturbed about but it does raise the question ‘what is love?’ and perhaps just a little bit of ‘am I normal?’Much love, whatever that is...

Listener question: Whilst I have seen so much since I first came across the 3p’s I still seem to get stuck in a few areas, below is one that I am struggling with at the moment.Firstly, I lost my mum quite suddenly and out of the blue a few months ago and so obviously I am still coming to terms with that and this understanding has helped so much. With the loss of my mum, the relationship with my dad has changed dramatically, he is in his late 70’s and although he is doing really really well looking after himself, cooking, keeping active etc I do feel the need to check in on him regularly, most days or every other day, it is usually a phone call with the current restrictions and they are always really really long conversations in which he talks a lot, tells me his opinion on whatever is on his mind at that moment, quite often political or ethical, he tells me all about the book he is reading in great detail even if it is not even of interest to him (and definitely not to me), the plumbing issue he has with his dishwasher, the people in the village who I have no clue about and their daughters, sons aunties husband, the wifi and lost passwords and how much the digital world is out to get him, sometimes his opinions are a bit outdated (I hope you get the gist). So I mostly just listen. I know that I am his sounding board, the bit of company with the loss of my mum, someone to talk about the day etc and I would miss this so very much if he wasn’t here. So I often have a word with myself, to just listen and appreciate him… although I have to admit that sometimes I don’t fully tune in and listen, because he does go on and on… And as soon as I have anything to say during these long conversations (nearly an hour in most cases), he totally shuts me down, he talks over me and says that is enough of that. He usually comes off the calls saying that was a nice chat… but it is rarely two way and I just feel like I have been talked at. So I often come off these calls feeling very deflated. I might then give it a day or so before the next one. I can’t not ring him. I am heartbroken at the loss of my mum and know that she diluted a lot of this when she was still with us (in form).I suppose my question is, that I am totally open to listening. But the feelings that come after the phone calls are a mixture of anger, upset and frustration to the point where I am not always wanting to speak to him and then I get hit with the GUILT? I would love to have a more light-hearted relationship with him. Instead I feel like I am wading through treacle to try and work out how to support him without totally draining myself?I hope that makes sense.

Listener question: I noticed that I have so much thinking around the topic of the menstrual cycle.On one hand I've got thinking about what society expects me to be like during a time of feeling vulnerable or feeling a lot of pain. On the other hand I've got a lot of ideas what it means to have pms. There seems to be this very fixed idea in me that it's just a rule that I would get horrible mood swings, pain and such strong uncontrollable emotions. To me it seems like a fixed reality that I just have to go through every month. Which made me feel a bit suspicious because how could this be fixed if everything else is not? I feel like I'm not really making sense but was wondering if you could somehow speak to that?

Listener question: How do we see tragedy in the light of this understanding? We lost a young family member in circumstances that ‘shouldn’t have happened’ that seem like huge misfortune. It is difficult for me to look at this from within this understanding as ‘part of our human experience’ as I see it as awful and wrong and how can we ever come to terms with that it was meant to happen. And how where was the wisdom in this young persons death.Sorry I know its a heavy one but whilst I get a lot from this conversation this tragedy is still shrouded in a massive BUT for me. Why are some people destined to experience the agony of losing a child and how can we understand a human experience cut short?

Listener question: Thank-you so much Clare for creating a podcast for this.  I have listened to it three times and also our recording once over.  I'm now in a weird place.  I feel frantic that I have to change a lot of things in my life and don't know where to begin.  I'm also confused as to why I've stayed with something that's creating unhappiness for so many years.  I guess with the 3ps I thought it wasn't the job (outside in thinking) so for now I just need to sit with it I guess.  I'm more scattered and anxious, so things need to settle. So many in the 3p world told me they changed jobs only for the anxiety to follow, so making a big upheaval towards something that isn't even calling to me feels wrong.  I just don't know.Thank-you Clare, you've been so generous with me in every way.  I think I'm looking this way for the wrong reasons, so maybe I need to stop.

Listener question: Today a friend held me. Since a diagnosis of breast cancer in January, surgery at the beginning of March, such a lonely journey in COVID, I just kept going to provide for my family. And then today as my friend held me, I just broke down and sobbed, and cried my heart out. Like a floodgate opened. Is that wrong Clare, is that un-spiritual? Is that just a needy desperate self identity? 

Listener question:  I wonder if it would be possible to discuss what seems to going on for me just now.  I seem to be doing well (better than in a long time) and then without notice I’m plunged into my greatest fears (plus some).... this has been going on for a few nights, is beyond uncomfortable and I would appreciate your thoughts.  I’ve absolutely loved the Real course and have taken a lot from it.  Thank you in anticipation xx

Listener question: I wonder if you could consider the following for a Listener Question on your podcasts?I realise virtually my whole life I have been a people pleaser. A learnt and essential approach growing up in my family. I can now see the destructive nature of being this way.  I seem to follow a cycle of     People Pleasing  > Rejection > Victim > People Pleasing etc etc.  How do I break this cycle and how do I simply be me?I would sincerely appreciate a little guidance with this Clare.