It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

High conflict divorce is one the hardest trials one can go through. It’s so hard on parents and on their children. If you’ve ever wanted to know what it looks like from the inside, from someone who has been through it and come out the other side with good outcomes, listen to this episode featuring Bill and Megan’s guest, Shannon Jenkins from the podcast Starting Over with Shannon.After hearing a bit of Shannon’s story, Bill and Megan will talk with her about:these many downs and a limited number of ups in high conflict casesstrategies Shannon used in her own case that had positive resultswhat made the case seem high conflict to herwhere she decided to go to get the best decisions in terms of parenting plans, finance, relocation efforts, and other major decisions (mediation, direct negotiations, court, out-of-court)domestic violence and child abuse allegations, and other “distractions” and “manipulations” used in the casesome hopeful tips and encouragement for listeners who may be walking the path of high conflict separation, divorce and parenting/co-parentingLinks & Other NotesShannon’s websiteStarting Over with Shannon: The PodcastBOOKSDating Radar5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your LifeSplittingARTICLESDifferences in Dealing with Borderline, Narcissistic and Antisocial Clients in Family LawFamily Law: 3 Theories of the High-Conflict Case6 Ways You Should Be Assertive in Family CourtOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:50) - Meet Shannon Jenkins (03:18) - Why Start Over? (05:49) - What Made the Divorce High Conflict? (09:44) - Finding How to Approach the Case (12:21) - Business Law (13:40) - The Hague Convention (15:21) - Some of the High Conflict Issues (18:47) - What Made It Work? (22:44) - Her Support Structure (28:05) - How Things Turned Out (32:17) - Confusion (34:31) - How Her Son's Doing (36:01) - Wrapping Up (38:23) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Susie Rayner

The tumultuous legal battle between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard reveals complex dynamics of domestic violence allegations. Explore the four types of domestic violence and how they manifest in high-conflict relationships. The discussion includes the differences between jury trials and family court, emphasizing the importance of viewing the big picture rather than getting lost in individual narratives. Key questions around juror impartiality and the need for multiple theories of truth shine a light on the intricacies of justice in high-profile cases.

Workplace conflict is on the increase. According to a 2021 survey, 89% of employees from a diverse range of industries reported experiencing conflict at work, consuming 3.5 hours/week on average. Finding employees is challenging, making a calm workplace imperative if competitive advantage is to be gained. When incivility and bullies or other high conflict people are in the workplace, the impact goes deep.In this episode Bill and Megan talk with guest Catherine Mattice, founder of Civility Partners, and author of Back Off! Your Kick-Ass Guide to End Bullying at Work. They will discuss:whether bullying is increasingthe definition of bullyingcauses of bullyingcan it be eliminated?impact on others of bullyingdoes coaching work?should a bully be terminated?should we have workplace bullying laws?creating a psychologically safe work environmentCatherine has a wealth of experience specifically in bullying, including the latest research.Links & Other NotesWEBSITESCivility PartnersHigh Conflict InstituteBOOKSBACK OFF! Your Kick-Ass Guide to Ending Bullying at WorkIt’s All Your Fault at Work! Managing Narcissists and Other High Conflict PeopleARTICLESCivility and the Surge ProtectorWhy Don’t They Get It?Times are EdgySubmit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:22) - Catherine Mattice (02:49) - Catherine's Backstory (07:28) - Defining Workplace Bullying (10:17) - Causes of Workplace Bullying (12:47) - Eliminating It (15:04) - Those Who Are Impacted (15:58) - Is a Bully by Default an HCP? (18:44) - Reading the Population (21:12) - Evaluations (21:51) - Group Responses (23:30) - If You Need to Get Rid of Them (27:30) - How They Get There (29:01) - BIFF Certification (30:01) - What's Gratifying (31:51) - Workplace Bullying Laws (34:49) - Psychologically Safe Work Environment (40:59) - Finding Catherine (42:41) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Johnny Depp & Amber Heard

They answer listener questions about handling high conflict family members who make hurtful accusations. They discuss when to use EAR statements, BIFF responses, or distance. They explore overlaps between ADHD, borderline traits, and high conflict patterns. They weigh labels like malignant narcissism versus psychopathy and stress practical skills and limits for staying safe.

Amanda Smith, a licensed clinical social worker and BPD expert, shares invaluable insights for families affected by Borderline Personality Disorder. She addresses common fears and reactions, urging families not to self-blame. Amanda provides practical advice on setting limits and the importance of temporary separations to reset unhealthy dynamics. She emphasizes the value of nonjudgmental communication when discussing a possible diagnosis and champions family involvement in learning coping skills. With a focus on hope and recovery, she highlights the significance of therapy and self-care.

People throw around the term Borderline Personality Disorder (or BPD), but most likely don’t even know what it is, and many have no idea how to handle it, whether within themselves or with a family member. Relationships and interactions are somewhat of a mystery to those around them, and even to themselves. People with BPD often feel like the black sheep of the family, but once you have an understanding of what may be happening and use a set of skills that are typically quite opposite.In this episode, Bill and Megan talk with BPD expert Amanda Smith, LCSW, founder of HopeforBPD.com. Amanda is a highly skilled BPD and Dialectical Behavior Therapy expert, having helped countless clients through their recovery. She’s helped family members learn the necessary skills for helping their loved one best while also taking care of themselves. Amanda also provides treatment consultation. She is the author of two books:The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Wellness PlannerThe Borderline Personality Disorder Wellness Planner for FamiliesIn this episode – part 1 of 2 – Amanda discusses the basics of BPD and how to get help. In next week’s episode – part 2 – she will focus on what families can do to help.Links & Other NotesHopeforBPDThe Dialectical Behavior Therapy Wellness PlannerThe Borderline Personality Disorder Wellness PlannerOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:34) - Amanda Smith (03:19) - Successes (04:12) - Trauma (06:20) - BPD vs. PTSD (08:18) - Emotion Disregulation (12:22) - Treatment (15:22) - In Parenting Cases (22:05) - On the Rise and More Acceptance? (24:11) - Resistant? (26:11) - Online Course (27:13) - Therapist Parameters (30:12) - Complicating Factors (32:51) - Amanda & Her Books (35:38) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Part 2

The podcast dives into the infamous Oscars slap, questioning whether it was a one-time outburst or indicative of a deeper high conflict pattern. The hosts dissect the events leading up to the incident, exploring Will Smith's and Chris Rock's behaviors and reactions. They analyze Chris Rock's calm responses, highlighting the effectiveness of EAR statements in defusing tension. The discussion also touches on consequences for high conflict behavior and the importance of strategies for change, advocating for coaching over mere punishment.

In this enlightening discussion, the hosts tackle a listener's challenging workplace scenario involving toxic leaders. They reveal how high-conflict individuals manipulate communication techniques like BIFF for their gain. Insights into their new Conflict Influencer™ Certification program show how organizations can better manage these dynamics. They also share strategies for coaching valuable staff and the importance of proactive training to curb escalation. Plus, gain tips on navigating reporting and accountability in high-conflict environments.

This podcast discusses high conflict situations in the workplace and introduces the Conflict Influencer certification course. They explore the rise of workplace conflicts during and after the pandemic and the impact of individuals with high conflict personalities. The High Conflict Certification program offers tailored solutions for managing high conflict situations, including online videos and live labs. Organizational level training is emphasized for addressing complex behavior and creating a happier work environment.

A diagnosis of bi-polar disorder can be both devastating and liberating. Although such a diagnosis is unsettling because of the lifetime implications, it can also be a relief to have an answer and hope for a calmer future.In this episode, Bill and Megan are joined by Dr. Jay Lieberman, a retired surgeon in the podiatry field who was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder later in life than most — at age 60. As one might expect, his professional and personal life took some major hits after some harrowing events that wouldn’t have happened if he hadn’t been suffering with an undiagnosed mental illness.Dr. Jay shares his journey – in a very transparent way – through the impacts of his behavior on his marriage, his career, and other relationships. It’s a journey marked with significant loss, but also with a great deal of new life, new purpose, forgiveness, and hope. Listen in as Bill and Megan talk with Dr. Jay about:the similarities and differences between bi-polar behaviors and high conflict behaviorsdomestic violence and incarcerationmedicationswhat and who were most helpfuladvice for members, friends, and colleagues regarding someone who may be exhibiting “high conflict” behaviors, whether from a bi-polar diagnosis or with a high conflict personalityhelping othersLinks & Other NotesGenieBee PublishingNational Suicide Prevention LifelineNational Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)BOOKSCalming Upset People with EARARTICLESEAR Statement Can Calm Anyone7 Tips for Dealing with Difficult People During This CrisisOur website: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/Submit a Question for Bill and MeganAll of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books.You can also find these show notes at our site as well.Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:51) - Meet Dr. Jay Lieberman (23:59) - What Worked (27:30) - High Conflict with Bipolar (32:44) - Extreme Behaviors (35:26) - Domestic Violence (36:03) - When It's Family (37:50) - Don't Tell Them Directly (38:51) - Respect and Suspect (42:56) - Dr. Lieberman's Book & Wrap Up (44:30) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: High Conflict in the Workplace