Absolutely Not

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off the 10th leg of the Farewell Tour and sits down with dietitian and health guru Sammy Previte, who is truly trying to make sure Heather survives Road life! Someone has finally got to tell this bitch to put down the hashbrowns and pick up a salad, I mean JEEZ... come on already! Heather gets all the tips and tricks from Sammy and recaps what the last leg of the tour has been like.... just a lil teaser, someone attacks Jeff in Florida, YAY!! This and more on one of the sassiest and raspiest episodes yet!    Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather has had it up to her flawless eyebrows with idiots this holiday season. It is truly hard to remain calm when you're trying to do the Lord's work but haters wanna hate...... and by haters you mean BEST BUY. Oh...don't even get us started on that bamboozlement! Heather is coming fresh off the Thanksgiving gratitude on a one-way ticket straight to "ABSOLUTELY-NOT-VILLE" and she is here to share it all with you! We also hit the Absolutely Not line for some giggles and a new holiday challenge! #holidaytchotchkechallenge  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes a moment to really breakdown what she is grateful for..... and then of course gets right back to bitching. It's been a wild ride on the road hitting 8 new cities in 9 days on tour, and baby does she have some stories for you! Thanksgiving week should be a time of reflection, family and roasting as many folks as possible. We break down all things Tour life and have a go-to-guide on how to survive the upcoming holiday season! Heather also hits the hot line for all of your disgruntled calls!    Head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "absolutely30” at checkout for 30% off!   Visit Tradesy.com to save fifty dollars on your very first Tradesy purchase when it’s four-hundred dollars or more- just use code 'absolutely' at checkout at Tradesy.com ! For $20 off any suitcase or bag, visit awaytravel.com/absolutelynot and use promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT during checkout! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather sits down with her bestie and Farewell Tour Producer, Chris Ketner to talk about surviving on the road. Chris is a tony award winning producer who now has to shove "pepto" down Heather's throat so she doesn't have a tummy ache on tour. They break down what it truly takes to make it in the "biz" and how the Mayor of Baltimore needs to figure some shit out. Its true Road-warrior Chronicles cause these two are literally DOING THE MOST. Heather also introduces Chris to the Absolutely Not line, and they take a swing at fixing all the world's problems, one Voice Mail at a time.    Get 30% off your first order by going to LucBelaire.com/absolutely   Just head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout for 20% off your order.   Go to uncommongoods.com/absolutely, to receive $5 off your first purchase!   Produced by Dear Media.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather is fresh off her Italy tour and quite honestly, NOT WELL. She is gearing up for the next two weeks on the road and got ahold of some of the Devil's Dust at Walgreens but its spitting hot fire like never before. The Italian Stallion pops in to help her answer some wild Voice Mails from the Absolutely Not Line. The two love birds find out Jeff is actually more of a Ding Dong than we thought but we love him anyways. This and more on the episode!    ​Get your first JustFab style for as low as $10 as a VIP! That’s 75% off your first item with my special link.​ Just go to JustFab.com/absolutelynot !   Visit Tradesy.com to save fifty dollars on your very first Tradesy purchase when it’s four-hundred dollars or more. Use code absolutely at checkout at Tradesy.com!   Listeners get 20% off their DHM Detox order. Just head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout.  Also, there is free shipping if you buy more than a couple boxes.   Head to www.playabeauty.com and use the code ABSOLUTELY for 20% off your first order.   Produced by Dear Media.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is coming at ya live from Fonté de Medici out in the sweet rolling hills of Chianti, baby. She is running an entire sorority out of a medieval castle in Tuscany and honestly, these hussies are losing their damn minds! We are coming at ya LIVE from this Tuscany adventure and breaking down what a truly ABSOLUTELY NOT fighting with a tiny asian man at a Gucci Outlet store is. Drinking plenty of Sangiovese and saying Arriverdici to the haters were doing the most on this trip! CIAO BELLA BABY!!!!   Go to Fabletics.com/absolutelynot, and get 2 leggings for only $24 ($99 value) when you sign up for a VIP!   Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather relives her brush with death experience from the past weekend on her Virgin Atlantic flight where her right ovary, legit exploded. The details are so real and raw, you might think you're listening to a live recording of the hit movie "Snakes on a Plane", but no this is just Heather's Life. She is a survivor and warrior goddess who lives to see another day but not without spending 12 hours trapped in a trans-atlantic flight and then being rushed to a London hospital straight from the tarmac. Heather is in her truest dramatic form and has no regrets spilling the literally, juicy details and more!      Get your first Just Fab style for as low as $10 as a VIP! That’s 75% off your first item with my special link.​ Just go to JustFab.com/absolutelynot to take advantage of this deal now.   For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com/absolutelynot and use promo code absolutelynot during checkout!   Download MASSE in the iOS App Store!   Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather is in her own personal hell-hole, the State of Florida. Fresh off a college girls reunion and nursing a 3 day old hangover she does the absolute most from her friend's beach house on the sandy strip of 30A. Since she doesn't give a shit about y'all recommendations for guests, she interviews her two besties, Broadway star, Christina Tompkins and comedian Jenny Hurlburt. LIVE FROM FLORIDA! They are old, they are weathered and stuck in a tropical storm! Pop open a white claw and tune in!    Visit lucbelaire.com/absolutely for 30% off your first order!    Visit dhmdetox.com and use code: absolutely at checkout for 20% off your order!   Produced by Dear Media.     See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather sit down with fellow comic, Andrew T Collin. He's one of her new "straight" male friends and she has already made him super uncomfortable with their friendship. They discuss the private school life, losing it all and how they had no clue what Chernobyl was. It's a savage episode of two comics doing the absolute most. Started from the bottom now we are back on Heather's couch. Andrew is a "power jew with soft eyes" says the New York Times, this is an episode you will not wanna miss.    Visit dhmdetox.com and use code: absolutely for 20% off!   Go to playabeauty.com and enter code: absolutely for 20% off!    Get 2 pairs of leggings for $24 at fabletics.com/absolutelynot      See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of Absolutely Not, Heather gets a real kick in the ass when some Sassy Susan has the audacity to chime in on the Italian Stallion. Heather tries to keep it cool but there are more Absolutely Not's in this episode than pregnancy tests at Rutger's after spring break, ya feel me. She is lit up like a Christmas tree on Angel dust and ready to keep it real and her favorite word, RAW.    Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.