Absolutely Not

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather answers your pressing questions, like "Should my baby have their own instagram account", "Do you watch military return videos?" " Are you a swinger", and "Would you wear a penis sash on your bachelorette"..... ya know hardcore journalism kinda questions. Heather updates you on her virtual show and talks about truly the dumbest shit ever.. that and more!    Go to Talkspace.com (or in the app) and use the code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show.   For 20% off your order just head over to nodayswastedco.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” at checkout!   Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $60!   Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is anxious and over caffeinated but doing her best to hold on to the future. The Voicemails this week are dumber than ever, but it doesn't stop Heather from losing her fucking mind. She loves you for calling in and remember, turn your AC off and roll your windows up if you're calling from the car! LOL! That and more on this week's episode!      Helix is offering up to $200 off ALL mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com/absolutelynot.    Go to feals.com/absolutely to become a member and get 50% automatically taken off your first order with free shipping!   To get a special free trial membership to Beach Body, text ABSOLUTELY to 303030.   Produced by Dear Media.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Heather is back in the studio, aka her Mom's "Office" with her Tour Producer, Chris Ketner. Since they can't be on the road together touring the world, the convo has taken a wild turn to REAL TALK TOWN. The discuss their lack of sex education in School, how Tik Tok is keeping them formed on Conspiracy Theories and how much they miss slinging drinks for old Broads at brunch in 2010 in Hell's Kitchen. Let's take a little trip down memory lane for some giggles and perspective.    Get your hands on some of GoMacro’s delicious MacroBars by going to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $60!   Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather takes a few calls from the new Hot spot of Florida and tries to figure out what the hell is going on. Were not even halfway through the year, and yet truly no one knows what this year has become/is/was/will be. She's hoping for a bright future but fingers crossed the insane voicemails on the hotline will brighten your day and make you giggle!    Produced by Dear Media.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather hops back on the VoiceMails and legit LOL's till the cows come home. Y'all have taken it to another level. She discusses the chaos of living in construction, her concern for the environment and just general anxieties that keep her up... ya know amongst the covid, social injustices and impending meteor showers... That and more on the pod!    Go to gomacro.com and using promo code ABSOLUTELY for 30% off plus free shipping on all orders over $60!   Go to talkspace.com and use promo code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and help support the show.   Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off ALL mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners at helixsleep.com/absolutelynot.    Produced by Dear Media.      See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather takes a moment to pause and very bluntly let everyone know that if you are a racist, the unfollow button is easy. Bye Bye,Sir. We will not put up with that Bullshit here! We get back to giggling and have an honest discussion of whats going on in the world today and how we can be a part of the change. Of course we get to the Absolutely Not line which is still filled with some of the most ridiculous Voicemails you've ever heard. Sidenote... y'all gotta quit calling us from hot-tubs, Heather can't hear you over the bubbles and the giggles. Love and Light my babies and more!    Head over to DHMdetox.com and use promo code "ABSOLUTELY” for 20% off!    Get a special free trial membership for Beachbody when you text ABSOLUTELY to 303030.   Go to omaxhealth.com today and enter code “ABSOLUTELY” for 20% off Cryofreeze and sitewide!    Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the absolutely not podcast Heather shares the psychological torture she endures everyday living with Diva Red in lockup. These two are in the words of MegtheStallion “savage, classy, bougie, ratchet”. This is just the tip of the iceberg! That and more!     Go to zola.com/absolutelynot today and use promo code SAVE50 to get fifty- percent off your save the dates!   Go to talkspace.com and use the code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and show your support for the show!   Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this solo episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather is falling apart at the thin ankles, literally. With a burnt taint, a rolled ankle and nothing to do, she has hit a new LEVEL OF NOPE. She cant even record this episode without her mom walking into the office to make it about her....typical Robin. If you thought the voicemails were wild last week, wait till you hear that the crazies have been up to now. Were week 852 into quarantine and still no one knows what the hell is going on!    Go to talkspace.com and use promo code absolutely to get $100 off your first month and help support the show!   To learn more about GoMacro’s giveback programs, and to give their tasty bars a try, visit gomacro.com and use promo code ​ABSOLUTELY​ for 30% off plus free shipping!   Produced by Dear Media.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not Podcast, Heather relives her emotional journey after having hot coffee spilled on her vagina in the Starbucks Drive-Thru. The Grundle is crispy, the attitude is sassy and for some reason she is super thirsty.....ya know like actually thirsty. Heather hits the Absolutely Not line and from this batch of voicemails its ABSOLUTELY apparent that everyone has lost their friggin minds!      Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode of the Absolutely Not podcast, Heather decides to flip the script on Love and find out whats been happening to her single friends during LOVE, LOCKED UP RAW! Just because we are in quarantine doesn't mean people aren't still trying to find the one, or just send penis pics, and she is here to get the scoop from the opposite sex. Her dear friend and former elementary flame, Tommy Bardis is here to break down from the dude's perspective what is happening during this beyond awkward time to date. They will giggle, They will cry, they will be triggered with emotion, but hey, its a lot of Absolutely Yes on this episode!  Go to OMAXHealth.com and enter code “ABSOLUTELY”’ to get 20% off CryoFreeze and sitewide!   Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.