Awesome Marriage Podcast

We've explored the spectrum of narcissism, now it's time to dive into what you can do when those patterns show up in your marriage. Dr. Kim shares how to discern when to speak up and when to self-reflect, how to cultivate an atmosphere for healthy conversation, and why boundaries are essential for meaningful connection. Episode Takeaways: Forgiveness is not pretending something didn't happen. Trust has to be built consistently over time. Being a good christian spouse does not mean absorbing pain. When you see the same behaviors repeatedly, it's time to do something. Language matters when having productive conversations. Change starts with responsibility, not accusation. God sees you and He is near! Quotes from this Episode: You can forgive someone and still require accountability. Healthy relationships don't make you feel like you're losing your mind. Keep love as the goal. Boundaries aren't unloving, they are essential. Patterns that took years to develop don't disappear in just weeks. Labels can explain behavior, but they rarely heal relationships. Defensiveness feels safe, but it slowly kills intimacy. You can't control your spouse's willingness to change — but you can control your own humility. Most marriages don't break from one big issue, but from unaddressed patterns over time. Healing begins when curiosity replaces accusation. Take Time to Talk About It: What narcissistic or self-protective patterns do you notice repeating in your marriage? How does defensiveness show up for you — and what is it usually trying to protect? What would it look like to take responsibility for your part without minimizing the pain you've experienced? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week! Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Continue growing in love and intimacy, don't stop Pursuing Your Spouse in Marriage. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

Are you caught in a maze and don't even know it? Today, Dr. Kim is joined by Ryan Wekenman to talk about the maze of self-centeredness we all have to navigate. When we begin living for applause, appreciation, or validation, we can easily drift out of sync with the Lord and into a life focused on serving ourselves—the exact opposite of what God calls us to. In this powerful conversation, Ryan and Dr. Kim challenge us to recognize the pull toward self-focus and invite us to shift our attention back where it belongs: fully on Jesus. We pray this episode encourages you to take the focus off yourself and go all in on Him. Episode Takeaways: Self-centeredness is a spiritual issue that affects everyone. Control is often at the root of self-centeredness. We need to be intentional about serving others. Self-improvement should not come at the expense of God-centered living. The Lord is our shepherd; we lack nothing when we trust Him. Finding freedom comes from letting go of the need for validation. Quotes from this Episode: If Satan can't get you to not worship, he'll try to get you to make worship about you. You don't need self-help. First and foremost, you need God's help. The problem isn't self-help. The problem is thinking that self-help will save. The way towards abundant life is serving and it's humbling yourself. There's so much freedom on the other side of letting that performer in you die. I think we have to be intentional about that because it's easy to absorb the culture and let that just become part of, well, everybody's doing it.- Dr. Kim I think one thing that God has taught me and I still struggle with at times is learning to celebrate others. - Dr. Kim I think what God is teaching me now, as old as I am, is that just do what I want you to do. - Dr. Kim Time to Reflect: Where in my life am I most tempted to seek applause, appreciation, or validation instead of simply seeking the Lord? How might my focus on myself be affecting the way I love and serve my spouse and the people around me? What is one practical way I can shift my focus from myself to Jesus in my daily decisions and interactions this week? Connect with Ryan: Website: ryanwekenman.com; redrocksaustin.com Podcast: Afterthoughts Podcast; Stories in Scripture Instagram: instagram.com/ryanwekenman YouTube: YouTube.com/@ryanwekenman

Today, Dr. Kim is joined by his bride, Mrs. Nancy, to talk about the freedom that comes from allowing yourself, your spouse, and your marriage to have a bad day without making it something bigger than it is. They share how they navigate the hard days, avoid the spiral of negative thoughts, and bounce back with grace and compassion toward one another. Your marriage is a gift—be encouraged to let bad days simply be days without letting them erode your view of your marriage. Episode Highlights: Everyone has bad days. Early warning signs that you're starting to spiral. The danger of turning your spouse into your opponent. The Lord has seen you through bad days in the past, be encouraged He can do it again this time. The powerful role grace plays when your spouse has little to give. See how our marriages are the textbooks for our children to learn from for their future marriages. Quotes from this Episode: When I try to force something and Nancy isn't ready, it's not going to go well. In everything you have to realize you're still on the same team. So, how can you help your spouse? The problem is the opponent. Satan rejoices when we are fighting, when we are angry with one another. -Mrs. Nancy Satan hates marriage. He hates christian marriages. He loves to destroy them. Every marriage can be a witness for the Lord. Being a role model for your kids, being the text book on marriage that your children need is a huge responsibility. Sometimes you have to dig down deep and find that love for your spouse. You don't have to feel it all the time, but remember that it's there. - Mrs. Nancy Once I learned to get past myself and get past my pride, and start giving you grace, it was a great feeling. -Mrs. Nancy Be vulnerable enough to say "I don't have much to give." Then as a spouse, "what can I do to help you." Just that is a step forward in growing your marriage. Take whatever is bothering you and give it to the Lord. As a christian you are forgiven anyway! - Mrs. Nancy Worrying about your marriage shows you care about it. Showing up for counseling means you care about your marriage. Don't compare your marriage to someone else's by what they post on Facebook. Time to Talk About It: How are we viewing our marriage right now? Think about the last time we had a "bad day" in our marriage. What helped us move past it, and how can we remember to do that again next time? What helps each of us reset after a hard moment or a tense day—space, reassurance, prayer, a conversation, or something else? What is one simple way we could extend more grace to each other the next time one of us is having a bad day? Mentioned in This Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide! Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Have negative thoughts about your spouse slowly replaced the positive ones? You need to start Mind Craft: Take Your Thoughts Captive to Transform Your Marriage today! If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! It's the perfect time to become a Marriage Changer! When you become a Marriage Changer before March 31, you'll receive our Most Popular Resource Bundle — 10 powerful marriage tools with a combined value of $185. Become a Marriage Changer today!

What if your marriage isn't falling apart, but just missing a key insight? In this powerful conversation, we explore "Light Bulb Moments"- the sudden realizations that can transform a relationship almost instantly. Emerson Eggerichs, author of Light Bulb Moments in Marriage and the bestselling Love and Respect, shares how couples who feel miles apart are often just inches away from breakthrough. You'll learn how understanding gender differences, taking responsibility for your responses, and applying a faith-centered perspective can lead to deeper connection and lasting change. Episode Takeaways: Your response is your responsibility, and you don't have to wait for your spouse to change first. Gender roles shape how we respond when marriage gets tough. Small insights and honest apologies create space for connection, healing, and leadership at home. Love and respect are different, but both matter. Quotes from this Episode: Sometimes we feel miles apart in marriage, but in reality, we're just inches away from understanding each other- Emerson Eggerichs When we expect our spouse to heal and complete us, we set ourselves up for disappointment; only God can fill that space.- Dr. Kim Don't confuse silence for a lack of love.-Emerson Eggerichs Behind every marital conflict are two good-willed people simply missing each other's signals—not enemies, just different shades of right.- Emerson Eggerichs Apologizing isn't about taking the blame for everything—it's about sincerely owning your part, even if it's just 10%. Leave self-justification behind.- Emerson Eggerichs No one can make you hate. You are always free to choose how you respond—claim that freedom.-Emerson Eggerichs Take Time to Talk About it: What's been your biggest "light bulb moment" in marriage? Where have you shifted your focus from short-term fixes to eternal impact? Think back to your last marital conflict, where could you/ should you have owned your response in a way that honors your marriage better? Mentioned in This Episode: Learn more about Dr. Emerson Eggerichs and his ministry Love and Respect Get your copy of Lightbulb Moments in Marriage Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide! Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to strengthen your marriage connection and overcome challenges? Check out Deep Waters, Deeper Love: Marriage Lessons from Jonah by Dr. Kim. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Be the first to hear about all things Awesome Marriage, receive monthly bonus content straight from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy, and take advantage of big discounts by becoming a Marriage Changer!

We are quick to label selfish or defensive behavior as "narcissism," but what if the issue runs deeper than personality? In this episode, we explore how disordered desires, our need for control, comfort, or validation, shape the way we relate to others and quietly erode connection. This conversation unpacks the difference between healthy self-awareness and self-absorption, why freedom begins when we stop defending ourselves, and how real change doesn't come from trying harder—but from surrendering deeper. You'll be challenged to look beneath behavior and consider what your heart is truly after. If you're tired of surface-level fixes and ready for lasting transformation, this episode invites you to step out of self-protection and into humility, empathy, and freedom. Episode Takeaways: What we often label as narcissism or selfishness is rooted deeper than personality. It flows from disordered desires and a heart that wants control, comfort, or validation more than connection. Healthy self-awareness leads to growth, humility, and empathy. Self-absorption does the opposite , it narrows our world until everything revolves around us and what we want. Freedom starts when we stop defending ourselves. Change doesn't come from trying harder, but surrendering deeper. Quotes from this Episode: "Selfishness doesn't start with what we do — it starts with what we want most." "Narcissism isn't always loud or arrogant; sometimes it's quiet, defensive, and deeply fragile." "You can't out-behave a heart problem — transformation always starts inside." "The more we focus on protecting ourselves, the less capable we are of loving others." "Growth happens when we stop asking, 'How does this affect me?' and start asking, 'How did this affect you?'" "Humility isn't thinking less of yourself — it's thinking of yourself less." "God isn't after better versions of us; He's after surrendered hearts." Take Time to Talk About It: Where do you notice selfishness showing up most in your relationships — words, reactions, expectations, or silence? How can you tell the difference between healthy self-care and self-centeredness in your own life? What might change if you stopped defending yourself and started listening with curiosity instead? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week with our FREE Weekly Marriage Check in Guide! Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you and how connected your marriage feels. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship in Marriage Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to fight off the cultural pull toward discontentment in marriage? Subscribe to our 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth reading plan. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

Blended families are beautiful—but they're also complex. When two lives, two histories, and often two sets of kids come together, figuring out what "family" looks like can feel overwhelming. From divided loyalties and differing parenting styles to navigating ex-spouses, finances, and faith, blended families face unique challenges that many couples aren't prepared for. In this episode, we're joined by Ron Deal, director of FamilyLife Blended and author of The Smart Stepfamily. Ron shares practical wisdom, biblical insight, and deep encouragement for couples navigating stepfamily life. We talk about earning influence before exercising authority, managing divided loyalties, setting realistic expectations, and protecting your marriage while building unity in your home. Whether you're part of a blended family or love someone who is, this conversation offers real hope, grace-filled guidance, and a reminder that healthy blended families are built over time—on purpose, and with God at the center. Episode Takeaways: Blended families are not repairs of biological families. Creating a blended family involves new rules and dynamics. Respect and communication are key. Quotes from this Episode: "You are not repairing a biological family structure. You are creating an entirely new blended family structure where the rules are different." -Ron Deal "To be a great co-parent, you need to act divorced—respect your boundaries, let go of control, and focus on parenting your own way."- Ron Deal "Stop pretending you have the right to influence your ex's choices. You can share your preferences respectfully, but after that, let go and parent your own way." - Ron Deal "Your spouse is the most important adult relationship in your life—honor that allegiance, but never abandon your children." - Ron Deal "You cannot demand love out of a child. That's something they decide on their time."- Ron Deal "If you support the stepparent in front of your kids, if you are a team member in the parenting system, then your blended family has a chance." -Ron Deal "You cannot have two parenting styles under one roof; blended families thrive when standards are more alike than different."- Ron Deal Questions to Talk Through: Where do we feel the most tension in our blended family right now—and how can we face it together instead of alone? What is one way we can better support each other when parenting, scheduling, or outside relationships feel overwhelming? What does "progress" look like for our family in this season, even if it doesn't look perfect yet? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Ron and Nan Deal wrote The Mindful Marriage- it's a MUST read for all couples. Blended family? The Smart Stepfamily needs to be your next read! Check out more of what Ron is doing HERE. Your words, your tone, your attitude- they all matter in how your spouse hears you. Check out our new devotional: Cut the Criticism and Cultivate Companionship Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Caught in the trap of negativity towards your spouse? Start our Lord, Help my Critical Heart reading plan today. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

In a world full of distractions and pressure to perform, how do we keep our identity rooted in Christ instead of our work? In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with long time friend, Terry Storch, to talk about leadership, stewardship, and the often unseen cost of carrying responsibility that affects others. From navigating pressure and seasons of life to holding the tension between efficiency and presence, this discussion explores where leadership ends and identity begins. Be encouraged to establish healthy rhythms, protect what's sacred, and remain centered on Christ—remembering that the work will come and go, expectations will shift, and seasons will change, but all glory belongs to Him. Episode Takeaways: The "work" of life was never meant to give you value. Only our Creator can do that. Accomplishments and achievements are driven by healthy rhythms. The technology advancements create unique pressures and require adaptability. Finding centeredness in a distracted world is essential for faith. Quotes from this Episode: "Life is a season of wilderness after wilderness because we're not in the garden yet." "I want to be known for the small little things that I did for those people right around me." "The need for centeredness, the need for Jesus, is more important now than ever." "Technology, for the most part, is neutral, like money. It can be used for really good things and really bad things." "The real story is the commitment to surrender and release, knowing it's not mine. Take a Wider Look: How do I define my identity beyond my accomplishments, and what steps can I take to focus more on who I am becoming? In what ways might I be allowing the distractions of the world to pull me away from my core values or spiritual focus? How can I separate my calling from my vocation, and what changes might I need to make to align my work with my deeper purpose?

When we hear the word foreplay, most of us immediately think about the bedroom. But intimacy in marriage was never meant to be confined to a single moment behind closed doors. Today, we're talking about foreplay 24/7/36 the idea that emotional, spiritual, and relational connection is built continually, hour by hour, day by day. We'll explore how intentional connection outside the bedroom sets the stage for deeper intimacy inside it, why this matters so much for the health of our marriage, and how small, everyday choices can radically change the temperature of our relationship. Episode Highlights: What happens in the bedroom is directly affected by what happens outside the bedroom. There are five types of intimacy that every strong marriage needs. The goal is not perfection, it's progress. Quotes from this Episode: When couples neglect the other four intimacies and they only focus on the physical the relationship becomes transactional sex becomes about physical release instead of real connection. - Dr. Kim That's often how affairs begin, not with physical attraction, but with unmet emotional needs. - Dr. Kim When intimacy is only in the bedroom, the temperature of the marriage runs cold. - Dr. Kim Replace bad patterns with good ones. Don't just stop the negative, start positive. Instead of scrolling, ask about their day. Instead of logistics, share something you're grateful for about them and finally give each other grace. -Dr. Kim When you come home, prioritize your spouse above anything else. -Dr. Kim When there's unresolved tension,when there's hurt or anger or distance, that vulnerability feels unsafe. -Dr. Kim Awkward is better than distant. Have the conversation. -Dr. Kim Intimacy isn't built in a single grand gesture. It's rebuilt, one conversation, one touch, one prayer at a time. -Dr. Kim Questions Worth Discussing: What's one moment from today (or this week) where we felt connected—or disconnected—and why do you think that was? Did anything in the episode help you see everyday moments differently when it comes to intimacy or connection? What's one small thing we could do differently this week to stay more connected outside the bedroom? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sure you're checking in with your spouse every week! Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !

Today on the Awesome Marriage Podcast, we're joined by Dan Purcell, creator of Get Your Marriage On! and the Intimately Us app. Dan is passionate about helping Christian couples build stronger, healthier marriages through better communication, playful intimacy, and gospel-centered connection. In this conversation, we explore the powerful link between spiritual and sexual intimacy in marriage. From God's design for sex to common misconceptions, practical habits, and healing struggles in the bedroom, Dan shares how faith and intimacy were always meant to work together. This episode offers encouragement and actionable wisdom for couples who want to honor God while cultivating deeper passion, joy, and closeness in their marriage. Episode Highlights: Experiencing really good sex in marriage requires living with virtue. What works in marriage will change over time. You must be willing to adapt together. Repair work is most of the work in marriage. Quotes from this Episode: This is a gift from God. He gave it to us to enjoy. You can't love a person you don't know. The more honest we can be about things, the better our marriage will be. Sex can be really fun. It can be incredibly replenishing. It can be good for your health. You want to get to a place where you're at ease talking about sex. Questions Worth Discussing: What part of this conversation felt most relatable to where we are right now? Did anything we heard make you think differently about how our faith and our intimacy connect—or even just spark a new thought? What's one small way we could be more intentional with each other this week—emotionally, spiritually, or physically? Mentioned in this Episode: Get to know Dan Purcell Listen to the Get Your Marriage On! With Dan Purcell podcast Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sex better for both of you- by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance

How are physical health and marital intimacy connected—and why does it matter more than we often realize? In this episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs.Nancy sit down for an honest conversation about the link between physical health and intimacy in marriage. They explore how stress, exhaustion, illness, aging, and life seasons can impact connection, desire, and closeness—and why caring for our bodies is not just personal, but relational and spiritual. This conversation helps couples navigate physical barriers to intimacy without shame or pressure, and instead with patience, understanding, and love. Whether you're in a season of strength or struggle, this episode offers hope, clarity, and encouragement to pursue intimacy the way God designed it—rooted in grace and mutual care. You'll hear: • Why intimacy doesn't stay effortless—and why that's normal • How sleep deprivation, stress, and hormones impact desire and connection • Why exhaustion often gets misread as rejection • How physical neglect creates emotional distance • What stewardship of your body has to do with loving your spouse • How couples can talk about intimacy without shame or defensiveness • Practical, realistic steps to rebuild closeness—even in demanding seasons Quotes from This Episode: Often as women, we feel like we have to do it all. We become physically drained and spiritually drained. -Mrs. Nancy Our bodies aren't machines. They need to be connected to the Lord and good health. -Mrs. Nancy We have to get past the stereotype that if you love each other that your sexual intimacy will be great. - Dr. Kim Body, soul and spirit- you have to work on all three to get yourself in shape, to live life to the fullest. - Mrs. Nancy The better I feel, the better I take care of myself, one our marriage is better, and two I have the energy and focus to serve Him and do the things God has lined out for me to do. -Dr. Kim Physical health and marriage are more connected than we realize. When one suffers, the other does too—care for both intentionally. -Dr. Kim You don't have to be 'super mom' or 'super spouse.' Recognize your limits and give yourself grace in each season of life.- Dr. Kim Taking care of your health is not just self-improvement—it's an act of love toward your spouse and those you serve. -Dr. Kim Even in illness, exhaustion, or stress, don't give up on intimacy. Adapt, support each other, and let these challenges draw you closer.-Dr. Kim You don't need a perfect body—just a healthy one that lets you show up for your spouse and God's call each day.-Dr. Kim Fitness is about being strong enough to live, love, and serve as God intended—not about looking a certain way.-Dr. Kim Questions for Conversation: How has our current physical season (energy, stress, health, sleep, life stage) been shaping our intimacy—emotionally and physically—and where do we need more understanding for each other? Are there any physical or emotional barriers to intimacy that we've avoided talking about? What would it look like to approach that conversation with curiosity, prayer, and grace instead of pressure or defensiveness? What is one small, realistic way we could care for our physical health together this season as an act of love and connection—not obligation? Mentioned in this Episode: Dr. Kim mentioned rating your intimacy in order to open the door to communication. We have a great tool for that! Check out our Love Making Survey. Awesome Marriage is on Instagram!Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance