Awesome Marriage Podcast

In this episode, I'm joined by Lindsey to talk about her newest book, Don't Burn Your Own House Down—a powerful and practical guide for couples who want to stop self-sabotaging their marriage and learn how to protect what matters most. We unpack how unhealthy rhythms, unmet expectations, loneliness, and emotional struggles can quietly fuel disconnection, and why waiting for your spouse to "fix it" first often makes things worse. Whether your marriage is thriving or struggling, this conversation offers honest insight and hopeful tools to help you fireproof your relationship and pursue deeper connection in every season. Episode Takeaways Most marital damage is unintentional but preventable. Self-sabotage shows up in everyday habits. Waiting for your spouse to change first keeps couples stuck. Behavior change alone isn't enough. Healthy marriages are intentionally "fireproofed." Quotes from this Episode: Most couples don't fall apart because they stop caring. They fall apart because they stop considering each other in the little, everyday moments. Playfulness isn't a luxury—it's an essential ingredient for a thriving, connected marriage. Outdo each other in showing honor, and watch how your marriage flourishes. Scorekeeping in marriage poisons connection. If it needs to start with you, let it start with you. Your reward isn't just in the result—it's in the faithfulness and honor you show, even when it's hard. In every word and action toward your spouse, you either speak life or spit poison. When Jesus is at the center of your marriage, your own pride and hurts matter less—making way for unity, healing, and lasting love. Take time to Reflect: What little fire are you ignoring today? Are you believing the lie that it's your spouse's job to take the first step? What is one small change we could make this week to protect our connection? Mentioned in this Episode: Don't Burn Your Own House Down by Lindsey Maestas Lindsey is on Instagram! Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Make sex better for BOTH of you — by romancing your spouse the way they actually desire. Check out this month's Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about sex and intimacy? Check out Embracing the Gift of Sex in Marriage: Looking Through a Biblical Lens Part 1 If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our Sexy Bundle: His and Hers Romance

You all loved this conversation in the fall so we are kicking off our Wider Lens 2026 with a rerelease of this awesome interview. Jerry Flowers is bringing encouragement about the patterns of your life and posture of your heart as we talk through his new book Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be. Lean into the discomfort, create disciplines for preparedness, and surrender your need for control in order to step into your true calling as a son or daughter of the Lord Almighty. He loves you, he is for you, and we can trust him with our hearts! Episode Highlights: Stop blaming everyone else. Take time for self reflection. If we invite God in, He can use all seasons for our good and growth. Intimacy with the Lord allows us to grow into the people God created us to be. Discipline and preparation go hand in hand. The more disciplined you are, the more prepared you are for what God has next. Culture influences us to mislabel our fears, thoughts and anxieties. Make sure you are labeling them correctly. Quotes from Today's Episode: I recognize many times, our placement in life isn't just because of problems, it's because of patterns. -Jerry Flowers Patterns reveal character. -Jerry Flowers Patterns are one of the ushers to certain seasons. -Jerry Flowers We want to blame the enemy, but we have to look at ourselves too. -Jerry Flowers Be aware of the enemy, for sure. But I think sometimes that keeps us from taking responsibility for our part. -Jerry Flowers It may not make sense right then, but later it'll make sense. -Jerry Flowers I see things that God put me through, before we got married, that helped me when I got married. -Dr. Kim We want to be whole enough where the Lord can pour into us and we can pour back out.- Jerry Flowers If you want results, you lean into discomfort.- Jerry Flowers What changed for me is realizing that my mind can lie to me. -Jerry Flowers A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection Look at your daily life and identify one unhealthy pattern you've grown comfortable with. What one discipline could you start practicing to combat this pattern and prepare for what God has next? Identify an area of your life you haven't fully surrendered to the Lord. Choose a Scripture verse to meditate on as you commit to trusting Him completely. Mentioned in this Episode: Website: Jerryflowersministries.com ; redefinedtv.net Facebook: facebook.com/JerryFlowersMinistries ; facebook.com/@redefinedtv Instagram: instagram.com/jerryflowers.jr ; instagram.com/redefinedtv YouTube: youtube.com/@Beredefined TikTok: tiktok.com/@jerryflowers.jr Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be

Marriage is one of the most meaningful relationships we experience—but when mental health struggles enter the picture, it can feel overwhelming for both spouses. In this episode, we dive into how mental health impacts the overall health of a marriage, what couples are really facing today, and why caring for your own emotional well-being is essential for a thriving relationship. Drawing from counseling experience and faith-based wisdom, we address common misconceptions, signs that mental health is affecting your marriage, and practical ways to support a struggling spouse without losing yourself in the process. You'll also hear encouragement for couples navigating anxiety, stress, or depression, guidance on boundaries and self-care, and insight on when to seek professional help. This honest and hope-filled conversation offers tools to help couples stay connected—even in difficult seasons. Episode Highlights: Mental health struggles distort how we see things. How to identify red flags that your spouse may be dealing with something deeper. How to recognize the difference in support and rescue. Encouragement to remain present in the difficult season. Quotes from This Episode: You can't build intimacy from survival mode. Anxiety tells you everything is a threat and depression tells you nothing is going to get better. Resentment builds when the healthier spouse feels like they are carrying the whole load. Your job is to walk alongside your spouse, not carry them. This is a season, not a sentence. Talk it Over Together: What helps you feel emotionally supported by me when you're struggling? Are there topics, emotions, or struggles you find hard to share with me? What makes them difficult? How can we check in with each other more intentionally moving forward? Mentioned in This Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month's 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you're longing for today. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about having an Awesome Marriage. Check out 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge.

I'm so thrilled to have Dr. Kelly Flanagan back on the show. Today he is talking about his newest book The Road Less Triggered, focusing on the importance of recognizing and managing emotional triggers in relationships. The work of faith, self awareness, and compassion is vital in our relationships. Dr. Flanagan shares how to stay engaged, remain soft, and practically manage conflict in a way that brings connection to your marriage. Episode Highlights: Understanding Triggered Moments in Relationships Your body is an early warning system Living in the security of God's unconditional love provides a foundation of safety. The posture of your heart affects how you receive communication. Quotes from This Episode: Most relationship conflict isn't like D-Day—it's more like Groundhog Day. We keep repeating the same patterns until we decide to break the cycle. The heart of this work is restoring a sense of choice—the power to keep your heart open, even when you're triggered and it feels impossible. A response is the fruit of self-regulation. A reaction is a failure of self-regulation. You can't connect if you're protecting. Openness is required for real connection. Our culture pushes us to blame others, but real progress comes from taking personal responsibility for how we show up. Until we move out of being triggered and back into connection mode, we'll keep self-sabotaging every attempt to connect. Becoming a safe environment for the people you love inspires them to open their own hearts—and builds true connection. Seeing the ways we differ as sources of complementary wisdom, not flaws to be fixed, can revolutionize your relationship. Questions for Conversation: Think about a recent moment in your marriage where you felt triggered. What physical or emotional signals did your body give you, and how might noticing these earlier help you respond rather than react? Consider a way your spouse differs from you that has caused tension. How could reframing that difference as complementary wisdom rather than a flaw shift your approach and deepen your connection? TRIGGER CHALLENGE: Together, identify one habit or action that makes each of you feel safe and heard. Commit to practicing that habit in your interactions over the next week, then reflect on how it affected your connection. Mentioned in this Episode: Read The Road Less Triggered Connect with Dr. Kelly Flanagan Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month's 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you're longing for today. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You and your spouse differ and that's a good thing. Find out how to Celebrate Differences in Marriage, rather than allow them to divide. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge

In a culture that celebrates busyness, rest can feel almost impossible. In this episode, we explore the ancient and life-giving practice of Sabbath and why it matters now more than ever for our marriages and families. What did God intend the Sabbath to be—a rule to follow or a gift to receive? Through Scripture, practical wisdom, and real-life counseling insights, we unpack how rhythms of rest renew our emotional, spiritual, and relational health. You'll hear practical ways couples and families can begin reclaiming Sabbath together, even in the middle of busy and unpredictable schedules, and why choosing rest may be one of the most meaningful investments you can make in your home. Episode Highlights: Rest is a rhythm and a gift. Rest shouldn't be legalistic, it's an invitation. Taking a sabbath has physical and spiritual benefits. Avoiding the sabbath can lead to spiritual dryness. Culturally we are so distratcted and overly engaged; and it's not what we were designed for. Quotes from this episode: Man was not made for the Sabbath, the Sabbath was made for man. It's a gift. The Sabbath wasn't made to restrict us; it was made to refresh us. When we're tired, we don't choose our battles well. The sabbath reminds me who's really in charge. As Christians sometimes we feel like the busier we are for God, the more we are being faithful- That's a lie. Celebrating Sabbath looks different for everyone. Choose what brings you and your family closer to God. Rest is not lazy. It's not about not doing anything, it's about doing things differently. If you're exhausted, you can't pour love, patience, or joy into your family. Rest is essential for healthy relationships. You can't just hope for Sabbath rest—be intentional, make a plan, put it on the calendar, and protect that time. Questions to Start the Conversation: How does busyness currently show up in our marriage and family life, and what has it cost us emotionally, spiritually, or relationally? What would a life-giving Sabbath look like for us in this season—what would we need to stop, start, or protect in order to experience true rest together? What is one practical step we can take this week to begin building a rhythm of rest that honors God and strengthens our connection as a couple? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram! Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month's 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you're longing for today. Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God's Word says about having an Awesome Marriage. Check out 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge.

Communication is the #1 issue couples ask for help with and in today's episode, have got the goods to help you overcome some very common communication mistakes! Whether you need a total overhaul or just a few friendly reminders, today's episode has practical, actionable advice to improve the communication in your marriage. Are you making the same mistakes most couples make with communication? Dr. Kim has pretty much seen it all so he's here today to help us avoid those mistakes, and to build better communication instead. Episode highlights include: Three of the most common mistakes Dr. Kim sees over and over with couples he counsels: Blame, discounting, and distraction. The impact each of these mistakes has on a spouse and marriage The practical steps to avoid each of these communication pitfalls Quotes from This Episode: When you resolve conflict, both of you have to take responsibility for your part in it. I've never seen an issue where 1 person was 100% responsible. - Dr. Kim I think it's easy for us to rationalize, fool ourselves, and take the time to think it through. - Dr. Kim I've done it, I've seen it in other wives: It's easy for us in parenting to discount our husband's opinion. - Lindsay Listen in a way that you can let them know you heard what they said. - Dr. Kim As a parent with kids in the home, it's great to have the reminder that they are benefitting from us putting boundaries that let us have an adult relationship with our spouse. As important as they are to us, we should value showing them that solid foundation and modeling marriage for them. - Lindsay I identify with all three of these, I've done them all. It's not something you just get right then coast, you have to stay on top of it. - Dr. Kim Questions for You: Do you use "I" statements to communicate what you need with your spouse? For example: Instead of, "You always ignore me when I'm talking," say, "I feel hurt when you scroll on your phone when I'm talking. I want to know that you care about what I have to say." Do you have questions about gaslighting, narcissism and blame in marriage? Send them in here and Dr. Kim will be answering listener questions in an upcoming Q&A episode Mentioned in This Episode: Need more communication help? Sign up here to save your spot for Dr. Kim's FREE webinar, "7 Common Communication Mistakes Couples Make" Questions about gaslighting, narcissism and blame? Submit them anonymously HERE or DM us on Instagram. Dr. Kim will answer them in an upcoming episode Want to reduce unnecessary arguments, decrease stress in your home, develop better understanding of your spouse, OR just strengthen your bond as a couple? Our 30-Day Communication Challenge is for you! With Dr. Kim's One Thing email, you'll get one practical tip each weekday to build your marriage. The Marriage Multiplier is a quick weekly email that gives you practical ways to be intentional to grow your marriage. Sign up HERE!

How's the romance in your marriage? How does it compare to when you were dating? (… and does that matter?) Romance can fall by the wayside in marriage because it seems like an "extra" that you'll get around to when you have extra time or money, or if you feel inspired to make a grand gesture. But today Dr. Kim shares several reasons NOT to let that be the case in your marriage. Listen to learn why you need to bring the romance back and HOW to realistically make that happen. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. Episode highlights include: Dr. Kim shares several specific ways romance benefits a marriage What does romance look like for men vs. for women? What to do if you're just not feeling it Whose job is it to make sure the romance is good? Quotes from This Episode: "Most people would say at some point it was there. So how do you get it back?" - Dr. Kim Kimberling "We kind of quit doing romantic things because we're not feeling it. Sometimes we have to go ahead and do them, so that we feel it again." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "Marriage is a lot better when you've got romance in it." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "I think we'd like it to come naturally, like it does in the movies." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "It's ok to have the conversation. We have to get past the mindset of, 'If you really loved me, you'd know.'" - Dr. Kim Kimberling "Romance is a great way to show your spouse, I see you, I appreciate you, and I care about what you care about." - Lindsay Few Questions for You: Have you talked about romance with your spouse? If not … Ask them: What is sexy to you? What is romantic to you? Don't judge their answers! Answers may change over time, so check in every now and then.

Want better connection with your spouse? One thing we hear a lot from couples is that they don't feel close to each other or that their relationship feels like it's missing some depth. That's why today we're re-airing this episode from Dr. Kim and Christina that talks all about emotional intimacy and gives you ideas of practical ways to deepen the emotional intimacy in your marriage. We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage. Episode highlights include: What is emotional intimacy, and why does it matter? Warning signs you need to grow in this area Emotional intimacy killers to avoid Tips to start working on this - alone, and together Quotes from This Episode: "It is hard work knowing someone. You have to pay attention. It takes work to be intimate." - Christina Dodson "Laziness and business are going to block your intimacy, so we have to fight against those things." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "Give yourself opportunities to connect." - Dr. Kim Kimberling "It adds value to my marriage for me to have a relationship with my friends, just like it benefits our marriage that he has guy friends." - Christina Dodson "You could have had the best childhood in the world and you still have baggage because we're human. That's okay, and you can deal with that." - Christina Dodson "You can't be emotionally intimate with your spouse if you aren't aware of your own emotions." - Christina Dodson Mentioned in This Episode: Our 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy digital resource provides practical steps to understand and share your emotions, and to work together to grow your emotional intimacy…and it's our gift to you for your donation of any amount. Your marriage can only be as healthy as the two of you are. The Bible says, "Let us examine our ways and test them and let us return to the Lord" (Lamentations 3:40). Our new Self Check-In Guide will help you do just that! Print out this Feelings Chart and use it to help you talk about your emotions. Our Questions To Help Your Spouse Open Up resource is a simple way to help build the closeness between you and your spouse. Accountability is a biblical and helpful tool for growing in holiness.

The Awesome Marriage Podcast is on winter break, and over the next four weeks we'll be sharing some of our favorite past episodes with you. First up: Finances! No one loves talking finances, but we do think you'll love today's conversation with Julie Baumgardner! Julie shares how to get curious about what money means to your spouse, how two spouses' separate financial backgrounds and "money stories" can stop being a source of tension, and start becoming a shared value. Listen to this episode if you're ready to get on the same page with your spouse about finances this season - without fighting about them! Episode highlights include: Questions to start a productive conversation about finances with your spouse How to uncover the hidden money lessons you learned growing up, then to get on the same page with your spouse. What recent research says about the connection of money and marital happiness How to learn more about your spouse's perspective about money Ways to work together toward shared values around money in your marriage QUOTES: "You have different perspectives about money. You don't necessarily talk about what it means to you, how you think about it, therefore you argue about it." - Julie Baumgardner "You can have conversations about money without having to be methodical about every single penny." - Julie Baumgardner "If you can't figure out how to live within your means with a little, it will be very complicated to figure out how to live within your means with a lot." - Julie Baumgardner "It isn't 'You're right, I'm wrong,' you're being curious. And in being curious, you're learning." - Julie Baumgardner "If you can tell that money is creating stress, what is it about money that's stressful?" - Julie Baumgardner "Keep your eyes wide open for where God is calling you to join Him in his work. Be aware, and where you see a need, be a Kingdom builder. " - Julie Baumgardner QUESTIONS FOR YOU: What matters most to the two of you when it comes to money? It's never too late to define your core values around money in your marriage. What is it about money that's stressful? If it's "what ifs," then name the what-ifs and talk through them. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: We found Julie's article on this topic SO helpful: Do finances in childhood impact your marriage? Research says yes Winshape Marriage online and on Instagram Find the Money Habitudes game online 6 your best married year yet with 12 Marriage Resolutions for the New Year! Click though for all the details of this uplifting resource You can be part of the Awesome Marriage mission by helping to get marriage content to the hurting marriages across the globe. Join our mission today!

The holidays promise joy and togetherness but for many couples, they also bring stress, busyness, and mismatched expectations. In this episode, we're helping you slow down, reconnect, and approach the season with intention. We talk honestly about why couples often drift spiritually and emotionally in December and offer simple, realistic ways to stay grounded in Christ and connected to each other. From aligning holiday expectations to creating meaningful traditions, you'll walk away with practical tools to cultivate peace, gratitude, and unity in your marriage. Whether this season feels exciting or overwhelming, this conversation will help you not just survive the holidays—but truly thrive together. Episode Highlights: The holidays can magnify an already existing disconnect. When Christ isn't the center of the holidays and your marriage, both will suffer. True joy doesn't come from a full schedule. Quotes from Today's Episode: When we take our eyes off the true reason for Christmas—Christ—we get caught up in the world's chaos. Don't abandon what nourishes your soul just because life gets hectic. The habits that sustain you all year are even more vital during the holidays. Keep your year-round rhythms strong—pray together, make time to communicate, and carve out quiet moments as a couple amid the December rush. Acts of generosity spark joy and deepen your connection. Intentionality is everything—if you aren't purposeful, the busyness will steal your time and memories. Release the pressure to do it all—focus on what brings true joy to your family. Give yourself permission to let go of traditions that drain you, making room for new ones—or simply space to rest, bake cookies, and enjoy music by the tree. Couple's Conversation Guide: 1. Which part of the holidays tends to be most stressful for each of us, and why? 2. Is there a simple spiritual practice we could commit to together this December? 3. Where do our expectations differ when it comes to gifts, gatherings, travel, or downtime? 4. What new tradition could we create this year that fits who we are as a couple right now? Mentioned in this Episode: Awesome Marriage is on Instagram. It's not too late to start our Very Married Christmas Couple's Advent Calendar. Our Annual Marriage Check Up Guide is the perfect way to assess what's working and set new goals for what's not. We gathered all 665 answers, organized them into the top 10 themes, and added 1 practical step for each theme so wives can better meet their husband's needs. 10 Things Husbands Want Their Wives to Understand Want an opportunity to dig into God's Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. How do we take a season that is often filled with stress and anxiety and turn things around? An Awesome Marriage Christmas goes over four things you can do as a couple to reduce the stress and anxiety of the season and help you focus on Jesus. If you haven't browsed our site, you've GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at Dr. AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! Speaking of being intentional! Sign up for Dr. Kim's Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips! Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 10 Things Husbands Want.