The Overwhelmed Brain
Paul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert
Get to the root of emotional issues and learn the best way to relate to yourself and others by honoring your personal boundaries and making decisions that are in alignment with what's most important to you.
This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won't be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the person you want to be.
Learn what your parents or caretakers never taught you about emotional wellness and creating strong, non-toxic bonds with others.
If you want the exact instructions that will help improve your life, you're in the right place.
This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won't be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the person you want to be.
Learn what your parents or caretakers never taught you about emotional wellness and creating strong, non-toxic bonds with others.
If you want the exact instructions that will help improve your life, you're in the right place.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Dec 6, 2017 • 1h 33min
Holding on to a lie to keep the relationship going
When you find out a lie that your partner has been holding on to for months or years, where does that leave the relationship? What if it's a minor lie and your relationship has been going great? Or what if it's a massive lie that you cannot get past? Matthew Bivens of the Having it A.L.L. podcast joins me to answer an email on this very subject in this special mid-week episode of TOB.
Dec 3, 2017 • 1h 3min
Attracting higher quality partners - Feeling sorry for those that abuse you - Try, try again or do or do not
1. Do you attract the worst partners? What does it take to find a normal person to date? There is a path to attracting quality partners but it may involve facing your fear of loss. 2. If you feel bad for your emotional abuser or manipulator, you are more likely to stay in the relationship and take the abuse. I'll tell you what you need to focus on so the abuse stops 3. When did "trying" things turns into a bad course of action? Ever since Star Wars, it seems we've adopted do or do not… but is that the best course of action?
Nov 26, 2017 • 53min
Escaping the Real World - Kids and the Narcissistic Parent - The Isolation of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor
Do you fantasize, daydream, play video games, or watch TV in hopes that you won't have to deal with reality? It's not all bad, but anything in moderation, right? I talk about the benefits of skipping reality for a little bit as long as you connect with yourself in other ways. For segment two, I go over what you might have to do with your kids when you have a narcissistic ex. During the close, I talk about child sexual abuse and the silent but damaging effects it has on the victim throughout their life and how this music video might be just the path to healing you need.
Nov 19, 2017 • 58min
Losing love and the general lies we tell ourselves
Black or white thinking can lead you to be untrusting of people and the world in general. If you've loved and lost and cannot figure out how to love as deeply as you once did, it could be a general distrust you carry around - seeing people as either safe or not safe. If you cannot be vulnerable, a difficult thing to achieve after pain or betrayal, you may not be able to rebuild the emptiness in your heart. Dichotomous thinking can keep you from unlocking your heart to anyone else. Today's episode is sponsored by lovepop.com/brain
Nov 12, 2017 • 1h 7min
Freeze instead of fight or flight - Learning what didn't work with the ex - Healing the hole in your heart
Do you freeze when you get stressed? Learn what you can do to stop the freeze before it happens. What didn't work in your last relationship that you can take with you into your next one? These questions will help you become wise for the future. If you suffered a breakup and you feel that emptiness inside, you may have a hole in your heart that needs to be filled. I'll help you start to rebuild what's missing so that you can start to heal your emotional wounds.
Nov 5, 2017 • 1h 16min
The abuse victim's perspective - Step-parents and step-children - When honoring yourself leads to loneliness
Why don't abuse victims leave the relationship? In this first segment I talk about the perspective of the abuse victim and no matter how much sense it makes to us for them to leave the abuser, it's an entirely different reality for the victim. In segment two I tackle the dynamics of step-children and how step-parents can enter a family and be more of a friend than a parent to gain trust and respect from the children. During the close I address what happens when you honor yourself. Who you thought were friends might disappear from your life but there's so much more to gain. Get out of emotional abuse with the M.E.A.N. workbook: https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/mean/
Oct 29, 2017 • 1h 9min
Keeping Your Relationship from Slipping into Dysfunction
If you've had ups and downs with your relationship and you're ready to keep it on track so it doesn't start slipping back down, I'll tell you ten steps you can take to make sure it stays healthy and continues to blossom.
Oct 22, 2017 • 1h 3min
Stonewalling - Expectations of friends - Emotional abuse follows you - Get away to get closer to people
Stonewalling is damaging to a relationship and can make it fail if whatever is shut down is never brought up to be resolved. Do you set expectations in your friendships? Should friendships be an equal, two-way street? It doesn't have to be - not exactly. Is there a way to get into healthy relationships after being in emotionally abusive ones? Very important question. What's the best way to connect with people? Find fewer and get away from the crowds.
Oct 15, 2017 • 1h 12min
How to feed your brain - Why do abusers abuse? - Too scared to be in a relationship - Everything is temporary
The more you expose yourself to new things, the smarter you get and the more your thought processes change. Why does one abuse? This important segment will help you understand the perspective of the one who abuses. How can you enjoy your relationship if you can't stop thinking it may fail in the future? Worries about tomorrow can make the present feel not as good as it should. Everything is temporary. The bad stuff and the good stuff, but it gets better as you get through the bad stuff.
Oct 8, 2017 • 59min
Guilt stops growth - Dad's new girlfriend - Enabling the freeloader
When you feel guilty for wanting to leave your partner because of their bad behavior, it's time to transform that guilt into something more productive. What happens when you lose a parent and the one left behind wants to date again? Is this something you support or are vehemently against? Do you live with someone taking advantage of you? Are you their doormat hoping they'll change some day? Maybe that day is today.
